HELP Am I betraying my fiance?

[drsweet]

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I'm engaged now.. i should be really happy to finally be with the man whom i love and loves me back but there were times when i still have thoughts abt my past love. The love story with my fiance now is not like a fairy tale in the beginning, infact it was a roller coaster ride.. He is my first ever bf and he is the first in every aspect of my life.. i loved him so much that i chose to build my world around him. He is every girls dream.. HE is good looking, come from a well-off family, he pampers me with so much gifts and love aswell but then he is not perfect, he is kinda hot headed and there were times when he used to hurt me.. but since i was blinded by my love for him i try to keep the relationship for five years.. until i can no longer take the pain and so i asked for my freedom. a month after, i met someone online and he is a CEBUANO.. atfirst he is just a good friend who tries to comfort me then with constant chatting i get comfortable with him and without me knowing it, i fall for him. i dont know if he really loves me then but he taught me to love again.. with him i learn that i can love someone without me experiencing pain. i havent met him personally but we used to chat with cam so i got to see him somehow. it lasted for almost a year.. i thought i have found the love of my life, we planned to meet each other but he always have his excuses ready so me blinded by love again always believed in him. I thought he loved me,, i thought he really cared but i guess i was easy to be played around so get hurt in the process.. last september he told me that he cant deal with our love anymore because of some family conflicts. he promised to deal with our love the right way.. he left me waiting for nothing.. that's last message i got from him. then my fiance do everything to win me back.. and he succeeded.. this time he promise to love me trully.. infact ive seen a lot of improvements.. he also knew abt the CEBUANO guy and how much i loved him and he tries to listen.. i was shocked when he asked me if i wanted to have a weekend tour in Cebu-bohol, he said he knew i wanted to and without even saying yes he showed me the tickets.. i was in cebu two weeks ago.. i hate myself for hurting my fiance even if he doesnt know it.. all the time i was with him in cebu.. im thinking about my past love and i was dreaming of atleast seeing him accidentally.. i was an idiot for having that thought in my head afterall my fiance is doing for me..in loboc river cruise he popped the magic question "WILL YOU MARRY ME".. nothing to say but YES! i wasnt sure abt my answer that time. but i enjoyed cebu and bohol for the first time.. i've been there before but only for conference but this time i had fun. Then we flew back to manila. i prayed that night for guifance then the next day i just browse over the net and see a familar name and face.. a wedding posted in youtube.. The guy who keep me waiting for nothing was already married last march 2008... God is really good he reveals the truth to me in time.. it hurts to know the truth, to know that i was fooled again but its better this way so i can moved on with my life.. i just feel so guilty.. i feel like i betrayed my fiance in my thoughts.. i've hurt him without him knowing it.. i want to make it up to him.. To let him feel how much i love him and how sorry i am..

PLEASE I NEED SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO MAKE IT UP TO MY FIANCE.. sometimes you love someone so much but you just dont know how to love him.. the way you want it to..

[seff]

congrats! dahil nagkabalikan na kayo ng fiance mo. Cguro ang nafeel mo ngayon is guilt na minsan kinalimutan mo ang iyong fiance dahil nagmahal ka ng iba. Pro part lang yon ng isang relationship na may mga susubok sa inyong pagmamahalan. Ang resulta ay depende na sa iyong naging desisyon sa mga pangyayari. pero sa nangyari sa inyo ngayon na nagkabalikan kayo dapat ay maging masaya ka. At para mawala ang guilt mo suklian mo nalang ng boung pagmamahal ang kanyng ginawa. kung may lakas ng loob ka na saka mo sasabihin sa kanya ang iyong minsang pagkakamali.

[emjay23]

ang ganda nag storya, simple lang naman yan eh, just tell him na mahal mo sya and tell him that you know that words are not enough to express how much you love him. show him that you care, na palagi kalang nasa tabi nya kung kailangan ka nya, show some love and affection towards him a very good example is cook something for him.ehehehe kasi sabi nga nila a way to a man's heart is through his stomach pero alam mo miss, nakikita ko naman ang yong sincerity eh. alam na nya siguro. kasi kami mga lalaki nararamdaman namin kung mahal kami nang babae. gud luck and congratz sa wedding

[drsweet]

ang ganda nag storya, simple lang naman yan eh, just tell him na mahal mo sya and tell him that you know that words are not enough to express how much you love him. show him that you care, na palagi kalang nasa tabi nya kung kailangan ka nya, show some love and affection towards him a very good example is cook something for him.ehehehe kasi sabi nga nila a way to a man's heart is through his stomach pero alam mo miss, nakikita ko naman ang yong sincerity eh. alam na nya siguro. kasi kami mga lalaki nararamdaman namin kung mahal kami nang babae. gud luck and congratz sa wedding

THANKS!!! pero i dont know how to cook! pero im really thinking of studying culinary arts.. im just hoping that HE is the one for me.. im tired of getting the lead role in a dramatic love story.. i want a happy ever after ending this time

[emjay23]

hehehe. alam mo miss, you dont really have to study culinary arts though. ask lang sa mga tita mo or mom mo, and then ask his favorite dish and cook it for him. and kahit na nagka mali mali ka sa pag gawa mo, i assure you this, he would really appreciate all the efforts you have exerted and mamahalin ka nya masyado kasi youve tried your very best. and its very effective. but matanong ko nga miss, duda ka prin bah sa pagmamahal nya sayo?

[xidor]

It's so long!!...I only read the first few lines.
Stay with your fiance. You don't know what kind of perv your chatmate is.

[drsweet]

hehehe. alam mo miss, you dont really have to study culinary arts though. ask lang sa mga tita mo or mom mo, and then ask his favorite dish and cook it for him. and kahit na nagka mali mali ka sa pag gawa mo, i assure you this, he would really appreciate all the efforts you have exerted and mamahalin ka nya masyado kasi youve tried your very best. and its very effective. but matanong ko nga miss, duda ka prin bah sa pagmamahal nya sayo?

well im sure he loves me more than every man does and im glad to see how much he respect and love my parents as well maybe its just that he did something wrong in the past that makes me so afraid to feel miserable again.. cause everytime i open my heart and love someone whole heartedly i get hurt in the process.

In general.. CEBU people are really nice!! thank you!! i'ts easy to share thoughts here.. even its a simple story it's heart warming to know that other people understands..unlike here in manila, most people dont give time in issues like this.. all you can hear is "DONT THINK ABT IT, THE NIGHT IS YOUNG, LET'S PARTY!"

[emjay23]

well im sure he loves me more than every man does and im glad to see how much he respect and love my parents as well maybe its just that he did something wrong in the past that makes me so afraid to feel miserable again.. cause everytime i open my heart and love someone whole heartedly i get hurt in the process.

In general.. CEBU people are really nice!! thank you!!

thanks for the compliment miss, i wish you gudluck in life

[aLohaBby]

follow your gut feel on how you should love him the right way...pamper him the way he pampers you, if you want to make it up to him..... just stop thinking about you're chatmate coz as what you've said, your fiance is the perfect guy for you..so why bother thinking bout some loser?! hehe..

[kathy22]

It's unavoidable to remember the 2nd guy due to the circumstances, you know - the place brought back memories etc. etc., so it's natural to think about him that time. What do you mean "dreaming of atleast seeing him accidentally"? as in dreaming in sleep or daydreaming? Well, whichever it is, looked like you still felt "something" for him at that time. It was unfair and you may call it a betrayal when you said "Yes" for a marriage proposal then you were thinking about another man pala but seems like you're over those feelings for guy no. 2 after you've seen the video diba? There's no reason to feel guilty now, give your self some credit for realizing things and wanting to make things better! Good luck to the both of you