My married friend gets a divorce since she just had a baby with a gay guy

[DeathFox]

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i told her to go back to phil. but she said never she will go back there again unless if she makes a million already. i've been enouraging her to just go back cause she cant make it here and its gonna be more complicated but she insisted that she is staying here.

she said if she cant make a living here, how much more in philippines?and she doesnt want people there to know about what happened.

i still have the baby guys, and its getting 3 weeks now. and i feel like my eyes are dropping.i didnt get to have a good rest this past weeks.

Then tell her that if she wont get her ass back here ASAP, that you will tell everyone that knows her what happened and give the basterd for adoption or give it to the faggot. Dont be stupid, gakalisod ka while she is out there enjoying or screwing guys o_O

[paul_armand]

@nitwit
You are too worried about the little one growing up and competing for attention with your biological kids. But that's too far into your future. Who knows? This little one might turn out to be someone you'll be proud of? He might be a good big bro for your other little ones.
My advise is to take it one day at a time. Enjoy lang each day with the little one. I completely understand the tough time you're going through now. I should know...I'm a father to a feisty little boy. The sleepless nights would all be forgotten when you wake up to that toothless smile. Wa gyud ika-baylo ana. Bahala na magkalisud, mag-kabuang ug trabaho and negosyo sa kilid-kilid, basta lang makapalit ug gatas. Basta lang ig-uli nako, naa magngisi nga gamay'ng tawo.
Blood and genes dont make a family...love does... sa gi-ingon na somewhere in this thread.
Give the kid a chance to a better future...
Putting him up for adoption might ruin it for him. This kid landed in your lap for a reason. His biological father would be the worst influence for him. And so is his mom. You are the best chance he has at having a good future...think about it. ...be prayin' fer ya...

[okoy]

thats the problem there, what worry me so much is that what if time comes when we already have kids and they fight each other and im sure that my hubby is gonna defend our kids and our kids might maltreat the adopted, if his gonna be in that situation, id rather not have him but i know by that time i wont have the control of the situation anymore, and what if worst comes to worst that my hubby is gonna ask me to choose if i keep defending the adopted?cause if i wont,his gonna feel unloved and his gonna rebel, thats gonna be a huge problem isnt it?

i spoke to her former husband this morning.and guess what guys?

a couple months ago me and my hubby was on the verge of getting a divorce because i thought i was inlove with this guy but i wasnt and i told my friend about it cause if i see that guy, she's always with me. i wasnt cheating at all,it just happened that this guy owns the gym that im with and i have no idea what the hell on earth she said to her husband that her husband called me this morning threating me to tell my hubby about that guy. i didnt freak out cause i have no idea what he was talking about and he said something like..sort of i slept with the guy? and that never happened infact when me and my hubby had counselling i told everything there and now her former husband is making up all these stories in the world or maybe her, i dont know but he told me my friend told him everything so he is gonna come and visit us one day if i wont get rid of the child.

but swear to god i didnt do anything but what if he comes up and say nasty and my hubby might believes him? he said his gonna forget about it and not tell anyone my darkest secrets if ill get rid of the baby..

but i dont have any darkest secrets but im scared of what he is gonna make up.

i still believe that a baby is a blessing in disguise,but everyday its like a surprise, a horrible surprise for me

Well, if you have already told everything to your husband about the guy you almost fell in love with, then that wouldn't be a problem at all. It's important to value life and that life i am talking about is the baby. Do what you think is right for the baby, you already have everything why not share it with the baby instead.

[nitwit]

Well, if you have already told everything to your husband about the guy you almost fell in love with, then that wouldn't be a problem at all. It's important to value life and that life i am talking about is the baby. Do what you think is right for the baby, you already have everything why not share it with the baby instead.

so are you guys suggesting that i should just adopt the baby and if one day she already made it then she can just come by and claim him back? she changed her mind again, she doesnt want the baby adopted legally but its alrite if he stays with us for a couple months or more until she gets back on her feet again.

i love kids, so fond of kids but i dont want to get into the stage where in i already have given up everything just for a baby and yet one day its all gonna end up for nothing cause she is getting him back. what if me and my hubby is already emotionally attached to him? i dont think im gonna give him back again after all the efforts and costs.. i cant raise a baby here without a nanny cause its either i raise him and let go of my business or get a nanny and keep going with my bizo.


i've worked hard for my money guys, i dont want that all of this is just gonna blown away just cause a baby came in and need full attention. i know i can be a responsible mother but being in this country? and all these stress from work, i cant raise him without a nanny plus im sure my hubby is the same.

i will adopt the baby if its legally and im waiting now for her approval.

[nitwit]

@nitwit
You are too worried about the little one growing up and competing for attention with your biological kids. But that's too far into your future. Who knows? This little one might turn out to be someone you'll be proud of? He might be a good big bro for your other little ones.
My advise is to take it one day at a time. Enjoy lang each day with the little one. I completely understand the tough time you're going through now. I should know...I'm a father to a feisty little boy. The sleepless nights would all be forgotten when you wake up to that toothless smile. Wa gyud ika-baylo ana. Bahala na magkalisud, mag-kabuang ug trabaho and negosyo sa kilid-kilid, basta lang makapalit ug gatas. Basta lang ig-uli nako, naa magngisi nga gamay'ng tawo.
Blood and genes dont make a family...love does... sa gi-ingon na somewhere in this thread.
Give the kid a chance to a better future...
Putting him up for adoption might ruin it for him. This kid landed in your lap for a reason. His biological father would be the worst influence for him. And so is his mom. You are the best chance he has at having a good future...think about it. ...be prayin' fer ya...

im just scared sir that whats gonna happen tomorrow might end up the same as what i've watched in the t.v. that the foster parent have given everything to the kid and one day the bio parents come back and want the kid back,i dont want to get into that stage that we both have to suffer,im sure he is gonna be confused on who to be with and i dont want him to choose! its unfair.what if he chooses his bio parents?whats gonna happen to me? i know i sound selfish but if the mum already have given him up, why cant she just give him up for good? i mean to say, if she wants me to have him then ill do that but as long as ill have him for the rest of our lives, she wont have her hands on the kids ever again but she didnt like the idea when i spoke to her about this. i dont mind dealing with the consequences later as long as she wont show up in our doorsteps again wanting him back cause ill be god damn upset.

[ellehpo28]

well, it's really getting complicated.

ok, so here's the scenario:

This time, it is clear to your husband about the other guy in the past. so no problem here.
Your husband is leaning to liking the baby now. One problem down.

The mother of the baby had a change of mind: not wanting her baby for adoption anymore but doesn't want to take care of her baby or doesn't have the capacity to take care of her child.

You have work and a business to attend to. And the baby is getting in the way of performing your work. Soon, you will realize that you are physically, mentally and emotionally drained with all of this happening to you. And probably finacially too.Aside from that, without a nanny, you either work and earn or stop working, stay at home and take care of the baby. (You have to decide on this).

And the mother, without her baby will find work and earn while you are the nanny of her child without income. And when she is capable, she will come back and get the child back from you at a time that you are emotionally attached already (and this will be very painful to you and I am sure your friendship will be at stake this time).

This is the most crucial time for you to decide which is more important to you.

Remember that the child is not yours and you don't have any docs to prove it. If worse comes to worst, you might end up with nothing but heartaches. and maybe legal problems too.

For me, I would rather give her money for her to live on while she is taking care of her child and at the same time considering her options and continue earning a living for myself, for my own family and for my family here in the Philippines. That is because she doesn't want her child to be legally adopted.

She is too wise and selfish. She is using you to the max to the point that your own welfare and future is compromised.

[nitwit]

well, it's really getting complicated.

ok, so here's the scenario:

This time, it is clear to your husband about the other guy in the past. so no problem here.
Your husband is leaning to liking the baby now. One problem down.

The mother of the baby had a change of mind: not wanting her baby for adoption anymore but doesn't want to take care of her baby or doesn't have the capacity to take care of her child.

You have work and a business to attend to. And the baby is getting in the way of performing your work. Soon, you will realize that you are physically, mentally and emotionally drained with all of this happening to you. And probably finacially too.Aside from that, without a nanny, you either work and earn or stop working, stay at home and take care of the baby. (You have to decide on this).

And the mother, without her baby will find work and earn while you are the nanny of her child without income. And when she is capable, she will come back and get the child back from you at a time that you are emotionally attached already (and this will be very painful to you and I am sure your friendship will be at stake this time).

This is the most crucial time for you to decide which is more important to you.

Remember that the child is not yours and you don't have any docs to prove it. If worse comes to worst, you might end up with nothing but heartaches. and maybe legal problems too.

For me, I would rather give her money for her to live on while she is taking care of her child and at the same time considering her options and continue earning a living for myself, for my own family and for my family here in the Philippines. That is because she doesn't want her child to be legally adopted.

She is too wise and selfish. She is using you to the max to the point that your own welfare and future is compromised.

im already emotionally worn out bro/sis. im trying my best to do the right thing yet none of them seem to be good enough.

i dont wanna give her money just for her to live here.i cant do that, im gonna be a milking cow.as ive said, i worked hard for the money, buying all these stuffs for the baby and taking care of a baby in this country is very expenssive.not to mention hiring a nanny. would you give out your money just like that?


i care more of the baby than the mum cause i know she can take care of herself. i dont want to support them financially cause she might be forever relying on me and ill be her bloody atm machine.

i've been giving her money already for her to go anywhere she wants to get a job.a couple hundred bucks a week and im not expecting her to pay me back but just for her to get her baby back and start over again.

[myroxanne]

hahay..ka daghan drama ani oi.

i know ur old enough and im pretty sure you know what is wrong or right.

to make the story short, go and seek help from the authorities, in such a way, wala na kay daghan libog ug wala nay daghan storya pa.

[nitwit]

hahay..ka daghan drama ani oi.

i know ur old enough and im pretty sure you know what is wrong or right.

to make the story short, go and seek help from the authorities, in such a way, wala na kay daghan libog ug wala nay daghan storya pa.

but the mum refused to seek for such kind of help.what can i do? i know its very complicated, its even more complicated cause my life is now a total mess.im trying to do the right thing but all of them seemed to be getting worst.

[ellehpo28]

if the mum refuse to seek help, then get help because you are the one being pestered now.

You said in a previous post that she doesn't want you to give the child to the father because your friend doesn't want to complicate his life. How considerate of her to him but she is complicating your life, doesn't she realize that?

I'm telling you, if you don't get your act now, you will end up devastated. More devastated than your friend.

Seek help from the authorities whether your friend likes it or not. For your own good and for the good of the child. Your friend will take care of herself.