School humor and bloopers...

[smurky]

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(to a student sleeping in class) Teacher: “Alam mo naman sigurong you cannot sleep in my class, right?” Student: Alam mo pala eh, kaya bawas-bawasan ninyo ang ingay niyo!”

[smurky]

Our biology teacher said in one of our discussions: “The HUMAN BRAIN is the most amazing organ. It functions 24 hours, 365 days. It functions right from the time we were born, and only stops when we…take EXAMS!”

[smurky]

During our swimming class, somebody shouted: “Tulooong! Di ako marunong lumangoy!” Then a bitchy classmate said: “Eh ano naman ngayon? Ako nga di marunong mag-violin, sinisigaw ko ba?”

[smurky]

Titser: “Who can give an example of a tag question?” Pupil: “My teacher is beautiful, isn’t she?” Titser: “Very gud! Okey, i-tagalog mo naman!” Pupil: “Si ma’am ay maganda, hindi naman, diba?”

[smurky]

Our Chem prof one time said that the chemical we were studying had a “frothy” odor. We wondered what a “frothy” smell was. Yun pala, yung amoy “frotas” daw.

[smurky]

My friend’s gay nephew was asked by his teacher: “Bigyan mo ako ng kulay na nagsisimula sa letrang “M”, except maroon.” The nephew answered: “Maitim, maputi, medyo berde, mamula-mula, mamink-mink.” Teacher: “Gago.”

[smurky]

(student approaches teacher after class) Student: “Titser, ang galing ng nanay ko!” Teacher: “Bakit?” Student: “Tinuturuan niya kami ng kagandahang asal!” Teacher: “Eh di marunong ka gumamit ng PO at OPO?” Student: “Siyempre, tanga ka ba?”

[smurky]

Art Teacher: “Ok class, I want you to bring a Vogyu (Vogue) magazine tomorrow.”
Me: “Ma’am, it’s Vogue, not Vogyu.”
Teacher: “Okay, okay, there’s no need to arg!”

[smurky]

The brain of stupid people have two sides:
The LEFT side, where nothing is right, and the RIGHT side where nothing is left.”

[smurky]

Teacher: “Class, kung ang ama ang haligi ng tahanan, ano naman ang papel ng ina?”

Student: “Ma’am, ang ina po ang nagpapatigas ng haligi ng tahanan.”