M2M Love affair: how will I let him feel the way I do?

**Ancis Cualbar** · 04-26-2009, 01:43 PM

It's my first time to fall in love w/ a MAYA guy. His sexual preference is not yet confirmed. Many says he is straight but a fraction of my friends say that he's not. No matter what's his sexuality is, my heart will still beat his name. He is more than my ideal type of guy. His being defines perfection..heheh.. Kidding aside, he is really cute and sweet. He is also smart and he speaks good English. We are close friends.We also talk a lot. I love being hugged and everybody in the workplace is aware of that.That's why I am often hugged by my friends and it served as an avenue of bridging closeness to my Mr. Right.We also share hugs on the floor..without any malice though!He was aquainted to my closest pals and I was intoduced to his peers. We now share a good number of common friends.One day, I played a joke and pretended that I had a crush on him. Everyone was deceived. It was a real deal of good acting..All thought that I was really inlove w/ him.I just continued and lived a life as if he is the center of my ALL ATTENTION. He is aware of this play. My acting performance went off the the line. Slowly, I was attracted to him. I tried to resist the feeling..but denying it proved unsuccessful.Evenif w/ all will, stopping it seems impossible. Now, I am in love. It's not a simple teeny-biddy crush. It's not infatuation. It's bigtime. It's LOVE..The play then became realistic.I have lot of sleepless nights.I always long for him.I always want to see him and let him know what I feel.I treasure our friendship and does not want to break it. I have no courage to give him even the slightest of hint that I care for him so much.For I know deep inside that the price of confessing my love is tearing the our friendship apart.Time passed and the urge to inform him overwhelmed me. I suddenly became cranky & boldly e-mailed him everything.Now, I am left hanging.. Still waiting for his reply.. Hurt and deeply-wounded inside..Now, we have lost communication.. we are still in the same office,but our worlds are as distant as Rome to Shanghai..We are half-world apart.. We've not seen each other recently..I am crazy thinking over his probable reaction..But I think, everything is over now..If only there's something I can do to let him feel what I do..If only I can let him go and like me too..Please advise me guys..and also share your experiences for me to learn from it..I need inspiration. Help me.. ANd if there's something you can advise me on how to forget him,that will be highly appreciated..

**pizzaburger101** · 04-26-2009, 04:23 PM

i had a friend na na inlove sa among friend rapod na MAYA guy. Nakalimtan ra niya eventually kay pag college namu di na man mi magkita atong among maya friend. Mawa ra siguro na. So mao na toh

**Ancis Cualbar** · 04-26-2009, 04:56 PM

cguro, makalimot rapod ko niya...
it's just painful in my part to have confessed my love and then it seems rejected..
though it's expected, u can't really tell the gravity of pain
one will experience in the onset of rejection..

in my case, it's more troubling..
he is not directly rejecting me..
nothing came out from his mouth that may hurt me..
it's just felt by me that he's trying to stay away..

hhhhmmmm...
i am now slowly recovering.

**pizzaburger101** · 04-26-2009, 07:12 PM

This is what exactly happend to my friend. Pag high school graduation namu iya gi tell tanan atong maya namu na friend. Pagka ingon jud niya murag ni palayo jud amu maya na friend

k9 · 04-26-2009, 07:29 PM

The good thing is you were able to tell him about how you feel. At least you won't live your life with "what if" and "if only."

**Ancis Cualbar** · 04-28-2009, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by k9

The good thing is you were able to tell him about how you feel. At least you won't live your life with "what if" and "if only."

Yes.. that's d good thing of doing it.

But "what if" and "if only" statements are
always the usual reaction of everyone for
decisions made once the outcome is there already..

I may ask myself "what if I did not tell him my feelings?"
We could still be friends until now..
I would not have felt the pain.

But in the long run,
If I have not confessed my feelings,
it would be alot more difficult for me.
numerous "what ifs and if onlys" will haunt me..

It's better to have said it than not..
It had a bad result but I need to move on..

In the first place, it was trully a gamble..
I will not know what he feels towards me if
I'll not tell him what I feel towards him..

Now, what can I do is to accept the fact
that we are not meant to be.

By d way, thanks for ur comment.
This site served as my support group..

Blogging sites like Istorya.net can be an outlet for one's stress..
It can also be serve a bridge for one's recovery..

Thanx for sites like these..

**arahdior** · 04-29-2009, 12:46 AM

Originally Posted by Ancis Cualbar

Yes.. that's d good thing of doing it.

But "what if" and "if only" statements are
always the usual reaction of everyone for
decisions made once the outcome is there already..

I may ask myself "what if I did not tell him my feelings?"
We could still be friends until now..
I would not have felt the pain.

But in the long run,
If I have not confessed my feelings,
it would be alot more difficult for me.
numerous "what ifs and if onlys" will haunt me..

It's better to have said it than not..
It had a bad result but I need to move on..

In the first place, it was trully a gamble..
I will not know what he feels towards me if
I'll not tell him what I feel towards him..

Now, what can I do is to accept the fact
that we are not meant to be.

By d way, thanks for ur comment.
This site served as my support group..

Blogging sites like Istorya.net can be an outlet for one's stress..
It can also be serve a bridge for one's recovery..

Thanx for sites like these..

@ancis :nakarelate sad ko ani.. bitaw at least imu na tell niya unsa jd imu na feel.. mao sad ni ako gbuhat before .. and happy ko sa akong gbuhat no regrets..

bitaw we have to moved on and accept.. acceptance is hard but its the best way to do.. dghan pa dira..

**xxSTARLIGHT** · 05-25-2009, 12:39 PM

agree ko ni ancis anang mga wat ifs...

**justin08** · 05-25-2009, 01:50 PM

i can relate...
hehehe

my girlfriend and i became lovers through this kind of play...
we were best buddies and she had a suitor
we both agreed that we'll play lovers just to make her suitor jealous...
eventually, we were not able to differentiate the play from reality anymore...
so we became lovers in real life...
but then, it didn't work out that long for the both of us...
we did had our own share of break-ups...
the only difference in my story and your story is that we had a mutual understanding of the situation...

i know it hurts, but you really need to move on...
i don't know how... but you have to make yourself preoccupied about something that might get your mind busy and eventually forget about it... i hope this helps...

**grlnxtdor16** · 05-25-2009, 05:07 PM

curious lang ko unsai MAYA?