Memoirs of an Amnesiac

A rather radical friend of mine had only one thing in mind. If he could in his human powers (if ever there is one), summon a ghost to appear right in front of him, then he would give up everything he has. While most of us would even cringe, have goosebumps or nerves that wouldn't stop standing on ends at the thought of a ghost, there he was inviting principalities that he didn't care would even welcome his paranormal invitation.

I've had my own share of fright and incomprehensible fears whenever I subconsciously encounter them in my sleep. I have no physical goosebumps nor hair-standing-on-end encounters. Mental paralysis and gnawing suffocation fogs my brain whenever stress and worries get the better of me. The encounters cannot be avoided but I have learned over the years to slowly handle them.

But this blog post would not be about ghosts. Nay, rather I'd like to talk about what I have always mused about.

Love. They say it's like a ghost. Many talk about it, but few have seen it.

I have always wondered about how each person could actually specifically like one person in particular. Was it imprinted in our brains while we were still in our mother's wombs that we would get attracted to this and that shape of face? Would the mindset of a person contribute to the attraction? What if we don't see them? What if we see them and yet we don't find an attraction? Such thoughts pervade my usually introspective mind.

Like some instinct, when we see the object of our affections, hear his/her voice, get angry at his/her little idiosyncrasies, hate his/her actions, we actually enhance that same attraction or whatever one calls it. We might have our ideal men or women, even visualized how their faces would be. Tall, dark, and handsome. Long-haired, skinny legs, petite or voluptuously built. Such and such ideals fill our mind.

There might be polarities and not attractions the first time. One might not like the way she has worn her make up or her nose-harassing perfume. Or his shoes do not fit his outfit or he talks nonsensical things.

But somehow in that thread of a moment something sparks---fear. The fear of attraction and getting intertwined with it is often what besets a mortal being. Attraction could be so fatal that it lets one drop everything that he/she has held on for so long. It makes one do impossible things, sometimes paralyzing ones (emotionally that is).

We cringe; we cower under our comfortable blankets. It's that same feeling we have when we see ghosts I guess. We feel a gnawing fear that someone has finally caught us off guard and would be soon bewitching us. Then we succumb to the fear and look for ways to finally get a hang of being held by it. It's when we fall in love.

I guess I have seen a ghost some months ago. A rather attractive and caring one who never gets tired about my unending worries about work and family. He doesn't feed on me as normal ghosts would but he likes feeding me with his love and care.