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sammedriano

The Exact Opposite

Rating: 2 votes, 5.00 average.
by , 06-01-2013 at 03:21 AM (2225 Views)
I have a bunch of questions in mind. As to the why's of my existence. I've looked for answers everywhere, yet no one has satisfied my quench for proper reasoning. I have only one question in mind. I only need one answer -Why did you leave me, Dad?


I woke up in the middle of a war. A chaotic world I never wished to be in. I was innocent, and know nothing about your personal issues -So why include me in your fights? Do you not know that I am affected too? Did I asked you to make me? Did I ever wished you to show me how painful life could be? Then, why in the world are you putting the blame on me?


I've been pushed around, over and over. You sent me to our neighbors, leaving me behind while you swing with the music in the dance hall near our place during fiestas.

You acted like you're still single, when you are in-fact not. You made me apathetic. You may have not revealed the whole story, but I knew you weren't ready when you brought me up. That's fine. I completely understand that it was because you didn't quite understand what you were doing. In fact, there are so many other young teens now doing exactly what you've done in the past. I can't do anything but worry, that sooner or later -Another me will see the earth, and be oppressed.


Most of those born like me either have to face the reality and move on, or act wildly for not being cared.


I choosed to act responsible, for I do not want you to think I am not learning.
I do not want to act worried, for I know what I am doing.
I stand on my own feet, for I know you haven't done your part well. Do not worry, I am not mad -You could have just done better.


To my dad, you said you loved me more than anything else? Please forget the lies and let's face the fact that I was the result of Mom's unwanted pregnancy. For which if during that time abortion was legal, I could have ended up in some sewer in town. Again, do not worry, I am not mad. I faced reality long time ago, and I learned the right way to survive.


To my mom, who cared for me when I was young. I am so proud of you. I could have raised my white banners long time ago, should it not be due to your diligence and love. I feel sorry what happened to you. You had suffered quite long just to make me survive. You are an adorable woman, deserving my trust. But, that doesn't mean I like the way I was brought up. You still could have done better too, but most importantly, you showed you were responsible in facing the consequence of your action. That's the most important thing of all.


I move forward, and made a pact. A promise that I'll do everything that I can to be a good father. A father whose footsteps shall be followed by my child-to-be. A father who's responsible enough to raise my child as a good citizen. I will be my dad's -Exact opposite.
Ed Oryx and mochiko.me like this.

Updated 06-06-2013 at 01:27 AM by sammedriano

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  1. cebu.opportunities's Avatar


    Most of those born like me either have to face the reality and move on, or act wildly for not being cared.

    I choosed to act responsible, for I do not want you to think I am not learning.
    I do not want to act worried, for I know what I am doing.
    I stand on my own feet, for I know you haven't done your part well. Do not worry, I am not mad -You could have just done better.
    Sometimes, it will create confusion with your personality. You want to be "good" yet you're not. You love them at the same time sub-consciously hating them. You want the family to be whole but in your heart, you know it will never be. A clash of being a good "obedient" child with a civilized rebellious nature.

    I will be my dad's -Exact opposite.
    kasuway ka anang the qualities that you do not like the most are gradually becoming the very person you are?
  2. sammedriano's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by cebu.opportunities



    Sometimes, it will create confusion with your personality. You want to be "good" yet you're not. You love them at the same time sub-consciously hating them. You want the family to be whole but in your heart, you know it will never be. A clash of being a good "obedient" child with a civilized rebellious nature.
    Exactly Cebu.Opportunities. I really am trapped at times into my "Good" nature and the rebellious one. It's hard to face the fact, but what has happened to my past can't be undone. As I mentioned, they could have done better -yet they choose not.

    I could have love them more, but I prefer not either.
  3. sammedriano's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by cebu.opportunities


    kasuway ka anang the qualities that you do not like the most are gradually becoming the very person you are?
    Probably wala pa, maybe in the long run. My dad had me in my mom's womb when he was 18. I am not 21 and do not have plans yet to be a dad.

    My dad is pretty stubborn, I work on my own and support myself.
    My dad has a lot of lies, I hate liars.
    My dad has a lot of vice, I only love blogging and photography.

    So far, so good. None of his bad attitudes has shaken my strong will.
  4. cebu.opportunities's Avatar
    Good thing you were able to cope up, to be better than they should have been.
    The hardest thing is to cleanse the heart and let go of the negative past, to totally forgive and "forget" the echoing breath-taking memories, to be able to convey the message to them in a manner they could understand without rage.

    If you have gotten the key, I'd like to hear from you.
    pa-duplicate ko's imong master key.
    sammedriano likes this.
  5. sammedriano's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by cebu.opportunities
    Good thing you were able to cope up, to be better than they should have been.
    The hardest thing is to cleanse the heart and let go of the negative past, to totally forgive and "forget" the echoing breath-taking memories, to be able to convey the message to them in a manner they could understand without rage.

    If you have gotten the key, I'd like to hear from you.
    pa-duplicate ko's imong master key.

    Sadly, I haven't gone to that part just yet. How I wish I can come up and create that key sooner. Don't worry, I'll have you duplicate mine when available.
  6. cebu.opportunities's Avatar
    Thanks in advance.
  7. sammedriano's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by cebu.opportunities
    Thanks in advance.
    My pleasure.

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