iSTORYA.NET - Blogs - gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/blog.php?76841-gracie7 en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 23:04:15 GMT vBulletin 300 https://www.istorya.net/forums/images/metro/blue/misc/rss.jpg iSTORYA.NET - Blogs - gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/blog.php?76841-gracie7 October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2887-October-is-Domestic-Violence-Awareness-Month Tue, 10 Oct 2017 21:10:04 GMT
  • On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.

  • 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime.

  • 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

  • 1 in 7 women and 1 in 18 men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime to the point in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.

  • On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.

  • The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500%.

  • Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime.

  • Women between the ages of 18-24 are most commonly abused by an intimate partner.

  • 19% of domestic violence involves a weapon.

  • Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidal behavior.

  • Only 34% of people who are injured by intimate partners receive medical care for their injuries.

RAPE
  • 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men in the United States has been raped in their lifetime.

  • Almost half of female (46.7%) and male (44.9%) victims of rape in the United States were raped by an acquaintance. Of these, 45.4% of female rape victims and 29% of male rape victims were raped by an intimate partner.

STALKING
  • 19.3 million women and 5.1 million men in the United States have been stalked in their lifetime.1 60.8% of female stalking victims and 43.5% men reported being stalked by a current or former intimate partner.

HOMICIDE
  • A study of intimate partner homicides found that 20% of victims were not the intimate partners themselves, but family members, friends, neighbors, persons who intervened, law enforcement responders, or bystanders.

  • 72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female.

CHILDREN AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
  • 1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence.

ECONOMIC IMPACT
  • Victims of intimate partner violence lose a total of 8.0 million days of paid work each year.

  • The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $8.3 billion per year.

  • Between 21-60% of victims of intimate partner violence lose their jobs due to reasons stemming from the abuse.

  • Between 2003 and 2008, 142 women were murdered in their workplace by their abuser, 78% of women killed in the workplace during this timeframe.

PHYSICAL/MENTAL IMPACT
  • Women abused by their intimate partners are more vulnerable to contracting HIV or other STI’s due to forced intercourse or prolonged exposure to stress.

  • Studies suggest that there is a relationship between intimate partner violence and depression and suicidal behavior.

  • Physical, mental, and sexual and reproductive health effects have been linked with intimate partner violence including adolescent pregnancy, unintended pregnancy in general, miscarriage, stillbirth, intrauterine hemorrhage, nutritional deficiency, abdominal pain and other gastrointestinal problems, neurological disorders, chronic pain, disability, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as noncommunicable diseases such as hypertension, cancer and cardiovascular diseases. Victims of domestic violence are also at higher risk for developing addictions to alcohol, tobacco, or drugs.


Source: https://ncadv.org/statistics ]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2887-October-is-Domestic-Violence-Awareness-Month Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2879-Be-Your-Own-Kind-of-Beautiful Tue, 05 Sep 2017 23:09:43 GMT


Everybody wants to be THAT GIRL. That girl who's pretty, sexy, sweet, charming and just what every guy would like. Because someone or a situation made her feel that way. To all the girls who feels this way, remember Bruno Mars said you're beautiful just the way you are, what John Legend said love your curves and all your edges and let's not forget what Lady Gaga said I'm beautiful in my way, 'cause God makes no mistakes."

You don't need to be THAT GIRL to impress someone, you just have TO BE YOURSELF and LOVE YOURSELF, eventually the right guy will come along. Someone that truly loves you will see beyond those characteristics, beyond the physical aspects that's only seen by his naked eyes. Someone who truly loves you will love those scars, those flaws, your insecurities, because someone who truly loves you, loves you being YOU.

I guarantee you, everything you have will fit perfectly into the person you're meant to be with. They will fit your mold. There is a person designed for you. A person who will put you first and make you feel like the woman you are.

They are out there. Whatever the reason, fate just has just not brought you two together yet. I assure you, whoever this man is will keep you. They will find you irreplaceable.

Someone is out there that will find everything about you beautiful.
Be the kind of girl that compliments herself when she walks past a mirror instead of finding minuscule reasons to criticize. That has silenced that hateful voice inside of her and replaced it with a loving one. That knows her inner value, her intrinsic worth.

Be the kind of girl that defines herself as strong and independent, even though she feels broken and damaged. That knows she can push past any pain she feels, because there’s happiness waiting on the other side. That never gives up on life, or on herself.

Be the kind of girl that encourages her friends. That smiles. That doesn't let her jealousy get in the way of her happiness.

Be the kind of girl that is always there for other girls. That helps drunken women in the bathroom instead of condemning them for how short their dresses are. That offers tampons/napkins and hand sanitizer to strangers that she doesn't even know, because she realizes that they're all connected, that they need to stick together.

Be the kind of girl that doesn't need a boy. That appreciates it when someone special walks into her life, and gives him all she has to offer, but doesn't bleed herself dry in the process. That loves him, but still has enough love left over for herself.

Be the kind of girl that's comfortable with her body. That worships her body. That doesn't mind looking at herself in whatever she wears, because she knows that every inch, every crevice, of herself is filled with beauty.

Be the kind of girl with big dreams, that has a laser sharp focus on her passion. That gives it her all during the weekdays, but is able to relax on the weekends. That doesn't bring her worries, her stress, home with her from her workplace.

Be the kind of girl that laughs long and loud. That finds a way to make a joke out of everything, even her deepest fears. That doesn't care if everyone is staring her way, because she's having the time of her life.

Be the kind of girl that chooses actions over complaints. That doesn't waste her time dwelling on problems when she could be searching for solutions. That realizes her life is worth living, even when everything feels off.

Be the kind of girl that keeps in touch. That calls up her love ones to hear their voices. That drops by their best friend's house, just to say hello. That makes an effort to contact the people that matter the most to her.

Be the kind of girl that speaks her mind. That gives her honest opinion, even when it hurts. That doesn't let anyone walk over her, because she can be the sweetest woman in the world — or she could be the biggest bitch you've ever met — depending on how you treat her.

Be the kind of girl that gives out compliments. That offers smiles to strangers. That genuinely loves life.

Be the kind of girl that makes you proud. ]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2879-Be-Your-Own-Kind-of-Beautiful <![CDATA[I Don't Need Our Love To Be Easy, I Just Need It To Be Worth It]]> https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2859-I-Don-t-Need-Our-Love-To-Be-Easy-I-Just-Need-It-To-Be-Worth-It Sat, 29 Apr 2017 01:00:11 GMT I am not one of those girls who believes in a fairy-tale romance. I know there's no Prince Charming coming to sweep me off my feet and ride off into the sunset with for our happily ever after.

This is real life, and real relationships take work. I'm fine with putting in that effort, but only if in the end it's the real deal.

We are human, and no humans are perfect. I know neither of us will be the best partner at every single second, and I'm totally okay with that. I will accept you as you are, beautiful flaws and all, if you can do the same.

I promise to push you to always be the best version of yourself. Not because I want to change you but because I want to help you become the person you've always wanted to be.

I don't want to have all the same hobbies, but it is important that we share the values that will serve as the cornerstone of our lives together.

It's so cliche, but compromise really is key. I have no problem admitting that I'm not always right, and I want you to be able to admit you're wrong too.

Love is not a competition and there is no keeping score. Let's do our best to see things through the each others' eyes and meet halfway.

The world isn't black and white, and I want to find and explore the grey together.

I don’t want someone who is going to nod enthusiastically to everything I say and do. Instead I want to be questioned, challenged and made to think things through critically and carefully. Because disagreements are healthy. Have your own opinions, share them with me and stand up for what you believe in.

When we fight, because we both know we will, remember to be fair. We'll get frustrated, well get fed up and we'll say hurtful things. But we'll also respect each other and the relationship enough to always make up before bed.

My sensitivity is one of my strengths, and I don't want it to feel like a weakness. I know it will take time for you to get used to how fragile I can be, but I know that the heart I'll give you is better for it.

I promise I will only say sorry when I mean it. I will avoid saying I love you when I want something from you. I will never intentionally undermine you. I will always ask for forgiveness when you're hurting. And above all else, I will give it my all.

At the end of the day, I believe in you, I believe in us and I believe in love. And when love isn't enough, our commitment to make it work will be.

Because as long as we're in this together there's nothing in the world that can stop us.


There is never a time or place for true love.
It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat,
in a single flashing, throbbing moment.
]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2859-I-Don-t-Need-Our-Love-To-Be-Easy-I-Just-Need-It-To-Be-Worth-It Because of You, I Know I Deserve More https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2851-Because-of-You-I-Know-I-Deserve-More Tue, 21 Mar 2017 19:56:45 GMT Sometimes, people walk in and out of our lives without much reason. They come and they go and we are not better or worse without them. They're just gone and that's okay.

But you were something different.

When I first met you, I thought this is it. This is the guy I've been waiting for. This is the one that's going to work out, to be something really special.

But we cannot always have people that are good for us. And you were not what I needed, just what I wanted. And I couldn't see past your smile, your eyes, the way that you made me laugh to understand that you were the furthest thing away from someone who was going to last.

I can own when I was wrong. And that's what I was about you. Just wrong. But I just wanted to thank you, too. Because in some ways, I needed to meet you, I needed to care for you. And most importantly, I needed to fall for you with no intention of it failing. Because that was the only way that I was going to learn the truth.

I am so much more than you. I have a bigger heart, a stronger mind. I set goals and I meet them. And you, well at that time you were just riding on my coat tails, telling me all the right things. So that I would want to make you the center of my life while you were busy doing whatever you want to do.

I'm not going to say that it didn't hurt, finally understanding that you were never really there for me because it did. It always does when we expect too much from someone who has no intention of giving us much of anything.

But nonetheless, you taught me that I can do so much better, that I can be so much more. And that I can fall for someone who is not only going to catch me, but someone who is going to make me feel like I'm important, I'm loved and I'm appreciated. Not just sometimes, but everyday.

So thank you for showing me what I don't want. Thanks to you, I don't have to wonder anymore if it would have worked out between us, because it's not something I want anymore.

You don't make me weak at the knees, and for a period of time, that's all you did. Made me swoon over you. Now I can't see why I ever wasted my time.

You aren't important enough to be a regret, you were just a passing phase. Someone to pass the time, someone who walked into my life, and when you walked out, you didn't leave me broken. I was stronger than ever and I still am.

So trust me when I say there's no hard feelings. I'm not waiting around to hear from you, in fact you're not on my mind at all. It's not because I found someone new, it's because I found myself. And for that, I can never repay you.

I wish you all the best. I hope that someday soon, you stop pushing people away, that you find someone who gets you, who makes you want to be selfless. That wasn't me and honestly, I'm thankful that it wasn't.

It wasn't that you were toxic, but you weren't good for me either. I'm just glad that I started to understand that sooner rather than later.

So thank you, one last time, for all that you've taught me. I never knew that there could be lessons in love, but you were my first.

Thank you for walking away to make room for someone that's the best fit, that's going to give me all the love, attention and appreciation that you didn't bother to care about.

I won't say it wasn't worth it. But because of you, I know now that I can do so much better. ]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2851-Because-of-You-I-Know-I-Deserve-More Love Finds Us When We Least Expect It https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2849-Love-Finds-Us-When-We-Least-Expect-It Mon, 13 Mar 2017 23:39:36 GMT I tried out love before, and like many other times, I lost it. I gave myself room to grieve and gave my heart time to recover. And then the moment came where I fortified walls that were built up way high, even froze my heart because I had been afraid of how many more times I would get hurt again.

But see the day came where you were the cradle to my life. You showed me unconditional love like I had never been shown before. Eventually, I have let myself love again. I decided to open my heart once more because the kind of person that you are is someone who's in it for long term.

There was something about you that made it so I didn't have to hesitate. That the day I said "yes" to myself that I'm ready to love again and jumped this journey with you, would be something long lasting. Would be something unique and special to us.

And the thing is, it is so special because I wasn't expecting. I wasn't expecting to be laughing together, to be discovering this life together. To be working through the moments of good, and rough together.

But I learned that in time I had to let go of my previous baggage, and the broken pieces I've endured. I needed to let love figure me out, so I knew how to love you in the right way. I had to let it explain itself to me about our story would be.

Our love came this thing I wasn't expecting, I wasn't hoping for. It just happened. It just came like a thief in the night. Well, you really are a thief, because you stole my heart.

The broken pieces of each of us just came together and they fit. And because I wasn't expecting something like this, I hadn't fully prepared myself for this kind of story. The kind of story in this time and age would be so hard believe. We have had difficulties of loving other people, have had to transition ourselves to get through heartbreak so we can learn who they really are.

And so I wasn't quite expecting a love like ours. I wasn't expecting the love we shared to be shown in different colors. I had prepared myself for heartbreak time and time again. To be the one to be left because it had happened time and time before.

And I am not sure if I was ready for it. And I am not sure if I wanted it right away. And I wasn't sure what to do with that. I wasn't sure how to handle being in love, let alone how to even show it. But day after day you showed me our story was one of the many unique ones.

But you showed me something different: You showed me how to love and be loved in ways I never knew someone could show me. You showed me that beyond my flaws I can still be loved. You showed and made me feel that someone can truly love me despite the distance.

You showed me what it meant to write a story filled with moments where things didn't go right, but also how to cope with them. You taught me how to love with great conviction because at times people had forgotten what it was like to do just that.

You reminded me our love story was great, and the happiest moments were the rawest. And you reminded me that although it wasn't quite what was expected, that it would be worth it if we remained by each other's side. That I am worthy of your love and above all, I am worthy of you. And that was the best part of all.

Let someone love you just the way you are — as flawed as you might be,
as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken,
out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect,
is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room.
 ]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2849-Love-Finds-Us-When-We-Least-Expect-It Dos and don’ts in the Year of the Rooster https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2831-Dos-and-don%C2%92ts-in-the-Year-of-the-Rooster Thu, 26 Jan 2017 18:48:36 GMT Marites Allen, the first and only Filipino woman to date with the title of “Master in Feng Shui” from the International Feng Shui Association, has tips to welcome the Fire Rooster in one’s home. Chinese New Year is on Jan. 28.

DOS

  • Clean and de-clutter your home before Saturday.
    This cleansing ritual removes all stale and negative energies and indicates a fresh start accompanied by good luck and prosperity. It is important to do this before the Chinese New Year, because any cleaning done on the first day of the new year sweeps away all the good luck that arrived. And while you’re at it…

  • Get rid of chipped or broken items.
    Broken things represent stagnant or broken energy. Keeping chipped plates or glasses is bad luck because anything chipped symbolizes poverty. If a broken item is kept for sentimental purposes, have them repaired (although doing so will still not create fresh luck). Or give them to someone who would use these items. So-called “stuck energy” could stop the owner from moving forward in life.

  • Wear something new.
    New clothes symbolize good fortune. But shoes must be bought before the new year comes in. “Buying a new pair on New Year’s Day itself may cause rough patches because the Chinese word for shoes means ‘rough,’” Allen explained.

    Think earth colors in 2017, but wear red on the new year.

    The annual destiny chart of 2017 does not have the Earth element, Allen pointed out. “To supply this and balance out the energies, wear earth-colored tones like brown, beige and terra cotta,” she advised.

    “However, wearing red attire or accessories on New Year’s Day itself is recommended because this happy color is believed to attract a bright future,” she added. “For the rest of the year, it is always good to consider your personal birth elements and choose colors that support those energies. For example, if your personal birth element is Earth, wearing Fire element colors like red, orange and purple helps. However, it will not be good to wear Wood element colors as they will sap your energy.”

  • Enjoy an auspicious meal with the family.
    On New Year’s Day, fathers should invite all family members to have breakfast between 5 and 7 a.m. “Having something sweet and sticky like tikoy and rice cakes is believed to ensure that the family will stay close and sweet to one another during the year,” said Allen. “The menu may include noodles for longevity and a whole fish dish for abundance.”

  • Forget the past.
    The Year of the Fire Rooster is like a “reset” button, Allen noted, which means “you have the opportunity to start something new and leave the past behind—for good. It does not have to be a big change; it could be anything you feel comfortable with, as long as it shows your resolve to “go with the flow” and allow the new energy to come in.”

    Bearing old grudges, especially on a year of new beginnings, “will only hamper your chances of achieving your goals,” she added.

  • Write your wishes.
    If the previous year had its challenges, write your wishes and release them to the heavens in a balloon-releasing ritual. This will “erase” the challenges that may be encountered throughout the year. Hanging wishes on a Wish Fulfilling Tree is also synonymous with good luck and better fortune and helps make dreams come true.

  • Keep lucky charms ready.
    But first, know where the lucky and unlucky sectors are in your home and office. (Allen’s Frigga stores have the updated Flying Stars chart that indicates these sectors).

    “Each direction in the annual Flying Stars chart brings auspicious or inauspicious indications specific to an animal sign,” Allen explained. Thus, the specific luck forecast for each animal sign depends on whether it has an auspicious or inauspicious sign for the year.

    Fire Rooster year has an Illness Star in the Northwest sector that could affect the Dog and the Boar; a Quarrelsome Star in the West that could make Roosters more argumentative in 2017; the so-called Five Yellow Stars in the South with “extreme negative effects” especially on Horses and the Robbery Star in the Southwest that could cause losses, injuries or accidents “coupled with emotional stress” to the Sheep and the Monkey.

    Allen warned there is no universal “cure” that applies to all signs: “We must carry carefully recommended charms to enhance our good fortune, and protective amulets to deflect the negative energies indicated by our Flying Star direction and personal forecasts.”

    Appropriate enhancers should be placed in the “auspicious” sectors and the cures or protection in the “afflicted” sectors. Allen said only authentic and high-quality lucky charms from reliable sources can ensure that the bearer or wearer will get the most benefits.

    Allen also warned against reusing cures from previous years “because they have already absorbed the negative energies of the past year that could linger around your living space. Better to wrap these previous cures, thank them for the protection offered and bury them underground. Enhancers, meanwhile, may be used again but they have to be wiped clean or reenergized properly.”

  • Listen, ask and learn more about feng shui.
    Allen expressed concern about feng shui enthusiasts who follow suggestions given in various media: “It is important to consult an expert to verify their readings.”

    As it is, feng shui experts agree that each individual’s “luck” is determined by the uniqueness of his or her birth year, birth month, birth date and birth hour. For example, not all Dragons will be lucky this year because they have different birth months, dates and hours.

    Allen also talked about “Heaven’s Luck”—the circumstances that a person is born to, like family wealth and home environment, as well as “Man-made Luck” or how a person deals with his circumstances.
    “Even a person gifted with a lot of lucky stars may not be successful if he or she does not study or work,” she said.

    Three kinds of luck each determines one-third of a person’s destiny, she said. Luck provided by feng shui is the last third.


DONT'S

  • Do not cut your hair.
    Those planning to sport a new hairstyle should not visit the salon on New Year’s Day or during the week of the New Year. “Having your hair cut is tantamount to cutting good luck,” said Allen, adding that her Feng Shui Planner notes auspicious days to have a haircut before or after the New Year.

  • Do not curse and fight.
    Starting the year with harsh words and fights will only bring negative vibes for the rest of the year. Parents should avoid reprimanding children on the first day of the Chinese New Year as it will only ruin an auspicious celebration. The feelings of hurt and resulting tears will set everyone off to a bad start.




Source:: Dos and don’ts in the Year of the Rooster | Inquirer lifestyle ]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2831-Dos-and-don%C2%92ts-in-the-Year-of-the-Rooster Farewell, 2016. https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2823-Farewell-2016 Sun, 01 Jan 2017 22:35:59 GMT Dear Ones -

OK.

Let's do this.

Let's say our goodbyes to 2016.

But let's think for a moment, really seriously, about HOW we're going to say our goodbyes to 2016.

The easiest and least thoughtful way to do it is by saying, "F*ck you, 2016!" — which I keep hearing people say...

And listen, I GET IT.

It's been a hell of a year. I won't review the major facts on a global level, because you already know the heartbreaks and the madness of 2016. You who we lost (and who we GOT.) I know a lot of you are feeling battered and anxious and undone and freaked out by this, and I HEAR YOU.

But I still can't say "F*ck you, 2016."

I can't. I can't hate on any of the years. I can't hate on the gift and complexity of life itself, of time itself. I just can't.

And for me, 2016 was a hard year not only nationally and globally, but also personally. But see...here's the thing: They NEVER tell you what's coming. And even if you did see what was coming, you don't GET to dig a hole to hide in. Not while you're still lucky enough to be alive.

What is coming shall come, and — as long as you live — you will have the enormous privilege and challenge of trying to figure out how to respond to destiny.

Tomorrow, when you are gifted with a brand new year (and it IS a gift), nobody will sit you down and tell you what's going to happen in the next 12 months, and — as it unfolds — nobody will be able to tell you how to endure it, or how to enjoy it, or how to understand it.

That part will be up to you.

Life will keep unfolding; you must keep manufacturing your own response.

We are not 100% victims of destiny, nor are we 100% masters of our own fate. It is constant shifting of energy between these two forces... and you often must steer the horse of free will very carefully (but bravely) in order to keep it in responsive alignment with the more wild horse of destiny.

It's a hell of a ride, you guys. Sometimes it's terrifying. Sometimes one horse seems more powerful than the other. But it's still the greatest game on earth. And there are ALWAYS two horses under you....and there always will be, as long as you're still here.

You will ALWAYS have things that happen to you, that you did not choose.

You will ALWAYS have choices about how to respond.

The most masterful and brave riders of life end up looking like someone who is in charge — straddled courageously between two powerful forces (that which you can control, and that which you cannot control) — and just giving a big salute to the universe the whole time, like, "OK, y'all! Let's do this! Here we go!"

So...

I know it's been a hard year for many of you.

ME, TOO.

But you are still here. I am still here. We are still in the ring. We still have choices. We still have power.

And that's incredible.

Also: frightening.

Also: sacred.

This is my wish for you all: That you find a way to stay brave and focused and strong and responsive atop BOTH your horses — both the uncontrollable one, and the controllable one.

Don't surrender into feelings of utter helplessness (if you are capable of reading this, you are not utterly helpless), but don't get cocky about feeling that you are all-powerful, either (the world will correct you of that delusion soon enough)...but instead find your position of respect and curiosity and courage about EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS.

So cock your hat, everyone. What's done is done. What's coming is coming. Brace yourself and relax (Yes! Brace yourself AND relax AT THE SAME TIME; it's an art form.) Make the best choices you can make in split-second intervals, make course corrections as you must, say goodbye to everything that is behind you, give a jaunty salute to all that's ahead of you, keep galloping through this messy life as fast as the wind, be grateful that you are still here...and then?

LET'S RIDE.


]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2823-Farewell-2016 <![CDATA[It's Time You Forgive Yourself For The Things You Got Wrong in 2016]]> https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2821-It-s-Time-You-Forgive-Yourself-For-The-Things-You-Got-Wrong-in-2016 Sat, 24 Dec 2016 21:51:28 GMT It's time to exhale.

After all, it has been a long year. And we've had our breaths baited for too much of it. So take a moment. Get comfortable. Sink into yourself. And allow yourself permission to let go. Uncurl your fingers. Slow your breath. Loosen your grasp on the anger you've held onto, and forgive yourself for what you didn't get right this year.

  • Forgive yourself for trusting the wrong person. You couldn't have predicted the future and you owed it to yourself to take a leap of faith.

  • Forgive yourself for choosing the wrong path. Every decision you made was exactly what you needed at the time.

  • Forgive yourself for making a fool of yourself. You were acting on your most honest desires, which most people are too afraid to do.

  • Forgive yourself for the risks you didn't take. There will always be chances to start over, and next time you'll be ready to take them.

  • Forgive yourself for the times you weren't there for others. You still have time to offer heartfelt apologies and to show up when they need you in the future.

  • Forgive yourself for the times you weren't there for yourself. You've learned how to love yourself better and it's something you'll always be re-learning.

  • Forgive yourself for the ways in which you've failed. Your failures mean you put yourself out there. They mean that you didn't let fear get in the way.

  • Forgive yourself for what you did not live up to. The strides you took forward matter greatly, even if you didn't reach the final destination.

  • Forgive yourself for the times you weren't true to yourself. You were acting out of self-preservation and every ungenuine action led to a harsh but humbling realization about who you truly are.

  • Forgive yourself for what you never saw coming, that hit you like a ton of bricks. You couldn't have predicted the future. And what matters most is how you heal from those unexpected heartbreaks.

  • Forgive yourself for everything you did not get right. For the wounds you couldn't heal, the challenges you couldn't seem to rise to, for the changes you mucked up along the way. It's time to let go of every pain and every disappointment you walked into in 2016.



You got here anyway.

You made it through twelve long months anyway.
You arrived at the end of the year, on the heels of a chance to start all over.
You get to bury each mistake with the end of this year.
You get to turn a new page with the new one.
You'll live better in 2017. You'll fail better in 2017. You'll make a whole new batch of mistakes in the year to come, but you'll know how to forgive yourself, this time.
And as long as you are able to do so, there's not a single mistake you can make that will defeat you.


Forgiving yourself is as important as forgiving others.
Guilt is toxic, re-living the mistake over and over.
Love yourself.
]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2821-It-s-Time-You-Forgive-Yourself-For-The-Things-You-Got-Wrong-in-2016 <![CDATA[You can't force someone to be with you]]> https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2820-You-can-t-force-someone-to-be-with-you Thu, 22 Dec 2016 19:19:56 GMT Here's the truth...

Being pretty doesn't keep a man. Being honest doesn't keep a man. Being loyal doesn't keep a man. Treating a man good doesn't keep a man. Being there for a man doesn't keep a man.

Caring about a man doesn't keep a man. Making an effort doesn't keep a man. Paying attention to a man doesn't keep a man. Spending time with a man doesn't keep a man.

You could have the best intentions, you could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be a good woman and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man because the only way to keep a man is, if that man wants to be kept by you. You can't force a man to be with you. You can't beg a man to stay with you. You can't love a man into loving you.

With a man, you could tell he wants to be kept when the relationship gets hard and he does everything to fight for you because a man only fights for a girl he wants to belong to, so if he isn't fighting for you when things get hard, then that means he doesn't want to be kept by you anymore.

The moral of this? Don't hold onto a man who doesn't want to be kept by you. No, you're not giving up on him. It's him who gave up on you, and it's you who shouldn't waste any more of your time than you already have. Know when it's time to let go, know when it's time to walk away, and know when it's time for him to be unkept.

The only man you'll ever
need in your life, is the one
who proves that he needs you in his.
]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2820-You-can-t-force-someone-to-be-with-you <![CDATA[It's Okay To Give Up On What (Or Whom) You Thought You Wanted]]> https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2810-It-s-Okay-To-Give-Up-On-What-%28Or-Whom%29-You-Thought-You-Wanted Mon, 05 Dec 2016 19:55:08 GMT Life has trained you to push yourself as far as you can to realize your dreams, but sometimes, things don't work out the way you planned them. Emotions rise, morale drops, and as much as you want to try, you learn that there are certain walls that you can't break and mountains that you can't scale; it's then that your gut tells you that the best course of action is to give up and let go.

In a competitive society, giving up is often seen as a lack of perseverance, or something to be ashamed of. Psychologists believe the opposite, in some cases: Abandoning certain goals can be important in achieving happiness. "An obsession with success can have negative side effects on what arguably matters even more in life: being happy," says Raj Raghunathan Ph.D. in a Psychology Today feature. So if you find yourself in any of these situations, it may be time to learn to graciously accept defeat:

1. When you only keep on trying because it makes other people happy.
Only a few things can make you more miserable than running after a dream that isn't yours. Although there are times when you need to make sacrifices and adjustments to stay financially afloat, the decision to pursue a certain career or a lifestyle should ultimately be yours. If you're only pushing for something because other people are telling you to but it fosters nothing but hate in you, then ignore their opinions and let it go.

2. When your quest for success is overshadowing other aspects of your life.
Passion is different from obsession. Passion drives you to be the best that you can be, while obsession blinds you to everything else vital and important other than your goal. Denying yourself of the happiness that other aspects your life brings you just to achieve something will only give you hollow victory. Joy can be found outside your definition of success.

3. When you're not even sure if you still want what you want.
Sometimes, trying becomes a habit. You just go through the motions without even bothering to ask why because you've already gotten used to it. If working towards a goal feels like an empty routine rather than something to be excited about, then maybe it's time to ask yourself if you still want the same thing you did before. Changing perspectives is inevitable, and when you're not even sure about what you want, then it may be time to follow a different dream.

4. When you're starting to hurt yourself.
The path towards the person or the thing that you've always wanted isn't smooth, but it isn't something brutal either. It shouldn't suck out your personal happiness, nor should the journey make you feel like you aren't good enough for the destination. Don't let your dreams tear you apart; although they should challenge you, then shouldn't break your spirit.

5. When you're sacrificing so much for someone who doesn't even acknowledge your efforts.
There are times when you try to salvage a seemingly hopeless situation out of the desire to keep things or people together. However, the sad reality is, that not everything is meant to last, and sometimes even the person who you've been working hard to keep seems to care the least. You deserve much more than that. Give up and move on.

6. When the only thing that is making you happy is the thought of giving up.
At some point you just get physically, emotionally, and mentally tired of everything, and you start wondering if all your efforts were even worth your goal. If the thought of abandoning something or leaving someone makes you profoundly relieved and happy, then it's time to consider your options. Giving up is not a bad thing. In fact, it can open you up to things that are actually meant for you. After all, the world is a big place. For sure, better things are out there.

Sometimes you have to give up on people,
not because you don't care,
but because they don't.
]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2810-It-s-Okay-To-Give-Up-On-What-%28Or-Whom%29-You-Thought-You-Wanted To the girl who needs reassurance https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2799-To-the-girl-who-needs-reassurance Wed, 02 Nov 2016 14:45:04 GMT Relationships take a lot of work, but when I found you - the one that opened my eyes, opened my heart, and opened a door to a whole new world full of possibilities without limitations; everything with you and this relationship seemed to just come naturally and everything fell right into place. But why do I still need that extra dose of reassurance?

This type of reassurance doesn't mean I don't trust you, believe in you, or think things will forever be the same. But rather, this reassurance simply means that I'm experiencing a whole new realm of feelings and emotions that I, truthfully, have no idea in hell what to do with.

This reassurance also means that I've, somewhere along my journey of searching for "Mr. Right," have been hurt, broken, and pushed down.

I'm letting my past haunt me, and rather than not trusting in or believing in you, I'm doing the complete opposite - the opposite of trusting you but not trusting my heart to keep it's things together, and not allow itself to get hurt once more.

Truthfully, that sounds so stupid of me to even say, simply because I know that you are far more than what my imagination could have even imagined, far more than all of the skeletons in my past, and much more than the "average Juan." ]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2799-To-the-girl-who-needs-reassurance In a world full of INFIDELITY be the LOYAL one. https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2786-In-a-world-full-of-INFIDELITY-be-the-LOYAL-one Mon, 10 Oct 2016 21:19:13 GMT In this world full of infidelity, it's really hard to find someone who can be loyal even if you're not with them, even you don't see what they're doing. A faithful partner is rare nowadays, but when you have found someone who can give the whole world to you, never let the person go.

Someone who can sacrifice and give up everything for you. Someone who is still there despite of your bad attitude. Someone who accepts your flaws. Someone who is there no matter what happens. Someone who'll pick to struggle than to end what you have.

Someone who will make you feel like you're the only girl in the world. Appreciate him while he is there. Give him the best love you can, because not everyone will give you the love you wanted.

Time is gold. Time is running. You're the one who is in charge of your life, no one else but you. So, when you already have the right person, do your best before it's too late.

If you can love the wrong person that much, imagine how much you can love the right one.
]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2786-In-a-world-full-of-INFIDELITY-be-the-LOYAL-one To The Guy Who Made Me Feel Good Again https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2784-To-The-Guy-Who-Made-Me-Feel-Good-Again Fri, 07 Oct 2016 02:17:13 GMT Timing really is a funny thing, isn't it? Good things always happen when you least expect them. Sometimes, you don't realize something good even when it's right in front of you. I remember being such a mess when we first met. I was lost, confused, heartbroken, and damaged. You somewhat helped me make sense of everything that had happened in the past.

You kept believing in me, you just wanted me to be okay. You wanted me to be happy again because you saw how much pain I was in.

You helped me remember that I deserved to be treated right, and that's exactly what you did for me. You made me feel beautiful every time I doubted myself. You made me laugh all the time. You sent me random handwritten life quotes and funny articles to perk me up. You always found a way to turn my day around or even complete my day even if it just started.

You are a perfect gentleman—a breed I didn't know existed anymore because of how badly I was treated in the past. I always thought I was unlucky when it comes to relationships. I was in a relationship with someone who made me feel unworthy; someone who took me for granted; someone who made me feel like it was always my fault. I forgot how it felt like to be appreciated and cared for. I got so used to giving so much of myself to others that I left nothing for myself.

But you helped me overcome all that. You reminded me that it's okay to be vulnerable (you make me vulnerable ^-^) and it's okay to feel (the feels pa gani). You never judged me.

So I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for respecting me. Thank you for helping me realize my worth. You've inspired me to keep going and to be the best version of myself. I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be loved by someone like you.

It feels amazing to be touched by the person
who understands your mind, the person
who acknowledges your flaws
and loves your soul.
]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2784-To-The-Guy-Who-Made-Me-Feel-Good-Again Your Second Love Is More Important Than The First https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2769-Your-Second-Love-Is-More-Important-Than-The-First Sun, 28 Aug 2016 23:54:59 GMT People have always told me that first loves are the most important loves out there. I have read articles about it, heard songs, seen poetry. They portray it to be the best love, romanticizing it to make it seem better than it really is. You see, when we are young we all want to meet someone and fall in love. Thats how all of the fairy tales end, am I right? You meet a boy, fall in love, the end. However, it is not as easy as that.

[Side note: If you are still with your first love, I am not saying you two will not end up together. It happens, and I am rooting for you!]

First loves are important, I don't mean to down play it too much. They do teach you so many lessons about love. They teach you how to love, and how you want to be loved. They are the love you experience before all of the baggage, and trust issues. However, first loves teach you these lessons the hard way, because oftentimes you do not end up with your first love.

Because first loves are also your first heartbreak. I don't mean a couple of tears kind of sad. I mean ugly crying with a tub of ice cream sad. The kind of sad that takes some time to recover from.

They are important. Just not the most important.

You see, second loves don't nearly get as much credit as they should.

Second loves are the loves that make you believe in everything again. When your world comes crashing down like that, you think you will never feel that way about someone else again. It's hard to see past it all at first. Second loves give you hope. Second loves teach you that first love won't be the last. Second loves will make all the others irrelevant.

Before, I thought I had the world in the palm of my hand. I was with someone or whatever, and I thought it was the best it could ever get.

Until it wasn't.

It was also my first real heartbreak, and at first I thought I would never feel that way again. You see, society teaches you to always put your first love in a special place. I thought it was something I wouldn't recover from.

Until I did.

I do not regret anything from back then, but I wish I could tell my past self how much better it gets. To not be so sad. That you do get over it. That it does stop hurting.

I have never been so happy in my entire life. I have never felt more love, or been given more love and appreciation. I could never have imagined I would be where I am today.

If you are just getting over your first love, trust me when I say that it does get better. If you think he/she was great, just wait until you meet the "real deal."

And hey, if you are anything like me, sometimes your second love teaches you that your first love wasn't really your first love after all.


And now, to the man I love, you are the reason I totally melt inside.
I pinch myself, just knowing that you're mine.
You are the reason my heart joyously sings.
You are more than the real thing.

Again, here I am saying that I am very thankful that I have found you, oh wait no, our paths intertwined. -G
]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2769-Your-Second-Love-Is-More-Important-Than-The-First <![CDATA[You're the Woman of Someone's Dreams]]> https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2766-You-re-the-Woman-of-Someone-s-Dreams Wed, 24 Aug 2016 03:26:59 GMT
"Every girl deserves a guy
that can make her heart forget
why it was ever broken."
I can remember the months before I met the man that I love, that I was crying on the couch sulking in sadness as to why I was never a priority to the man who came before him.

I remember being in a crowd full of people and still feel being alone. I remember feeling less of myself because of one man's lack of attention. I remember that sadness and I sure as hell will never put myself in that position again.

I've learned one thing by being in love with someone who didn't value me: If anyone's actions or words ever make you feel less than who you are, leave. You are at no obligation to be the person they say you are.

It wasn't until I met this man, he helped me realize everything beautiful of who I was. I didn't change who I was but rather he recognized everything I couldn't even see in myself. He brought it up to the surface.

Since the day I met him, he has made me feel the way a woman should feel, being loved in return. To him, I am not a 'maybe', I am the woman he's waited for and the woman of his dreams. I didn't change who I was to make him love me more. I stayed true to who I was and everything about myself was what he was searching for.

I have never been sad because he has always valued me as a priority. I've never been hurt by his words because he's always lifting me higher rather than making me feel less than myself. I've never cried because I never felt doubt or fear he's unfaithful.

Ladies, your man is out there. This man exists. Wherever you're at in your life, right at this moment, just know you are the woman of someone's dreams. I'm sure it seems far from reach or maybe you thought you found that perfect match but now you're left heartbroken.

When negative thoughts, like why you 'weren't good enough', come creeping in. Just remember this:

  • You have everything inside you that someone has been desperately seeking.
  • Someone is out there that will find everything about you beautiful.
  • Your flaws won't be flaws but a reason to love you more.
  • You have a kind heart someone has been searching for.
  • You have the shade of eyes someone finds beautiful.
  • You have the crinkle in your nose that someone will find adorable.
  • You have the laugh someone will love to hear.
  • You have the selflessness that someone won't take for granted.
  • You have the kindness someone will appreciate.
  • You have the ambition someone will support.
  • You have the beauty that will captivate someone.
  • You have the intelligence someone will admire.
  • You have the presence someone who cherish.
  • You have the essence someone will value.
  • You have the hand that will perfectly find into theirs.

I guarantee you, everything you have will fit perfectly into the person you're meant to be with. They will fit your mold. There is a person designed for you. A person who will put you first and make you feel like the woman you are.

They are out there. Whatever the reason, fate just has just not brought you two together yet. I assure you, whoever this man is will keep you. They will find you irreplaceable.

"Sometimes you just have to turn the page to realize there is more to your book of life than the page you're stuck on. Stop being afraid to move on. Close this chapter of hurt, and never re-read it again. It's time to get what your life deserves, and move on from the things that don't deserve you. Don't spend your days trying to correct you past, instead, let go and let God create something better for your future."
"The best kind of love is the one that you never saw coming."
That my dear is what we have. They say expect the unexpected,
well indeed it was shocking for the both of us.
And I'm always, always thankful that you came. -G
]]> gracie7 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2766-You-re-the-Woman-of-Someone-s-Dreams