https://www.istorya.net/forums/blog.php?712-splendid-moonlight en Sun, 17 May 2026 05:02:37 GMT vBulletin 300 https://www.istorya.net/forums/images/metro/blue/misc/rss.jpg https://www.istorya.net/forums/blog.php?712-splendid-moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1837-Trance-Life Mon, 06 Aug 2012 18:57:35 GMT I often wondered why I continually put myself in a situation wherein I would lack sleep and feel awful the next day. Then I realize, with half of me hoping it isn't true, that I do so in order to put myself in a sort of trance as I go about most of my daily stuff. I find that when I'm in this state, I can focus on the things that matter; I tend not to sweat the small stuff, heck, I don't notice the small stuff, because all I want to do is to get everything over and done with so I can go home and sleep. Of course, by the time I get home, I don't really sleep right away. This is the time when I'm most comfortable so I don't want to waste that time by sleeping.

It's unhealthy and sucks big time, but it's been working so far. ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1837-Trance-Life https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1836-Life-Is-Fleeting Mon, 06 Aug 2012 14:23:28 GMT I bumped into a video of a beautiful girl named Eva who died of cystic fibrosis who documented her struggle with the disease online (I think her experience with the disease is about to be made into a movie).

Along with the recent death of our beloved kitten Ew2x - that's what we called him since he had the cutest "ew-ew" sounding Meow we ever heard in a kitten - who's lovely beyond words, it struck me one more time, in the same day, that life is fleeting.

So I told a guy friend of mine, who I happened to be chatting with on Facebook at that time, that I used to have a crush on him (crush was actually an understatement, but hey, it's not like I planned telling him). His response was "you're not alone" which I took to mean that there are other women who feel the same way for him. LOL. It was a response I didn't expect, although I wasn't expecting anything in the first place really.

On another note, I used to think that girls who express their need to get married online (particularly Facebook) come off as desperate. But since one of my Facebook friends who displays the same behavior online was diagnosed with some disease, I felt guilty, reprimanding myself for being so judgmental. I wish for her to find her prince charming; she's been searching for him far and wide. And as for myself, I wish that I will always respect other people's dreams, that I won't wait to hear of their misfortunes before doing so.

By all means do not give up on your dreams whatever they are. Just as long as they don't involve harming another human being, your dreams are yours for the taking. Life is fleeting! ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1836-Life-Is-Fleeting https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1756-Just-some-talk-about-books Thu, 07 Jun 2012 19:50:11 GMT Most of my favorite books are "accidental" finds. I found one of them in Book Sale SM on a particularly aimless day. It had really great reviews on the back and came in a nice green old school feel cover that I liked. So I bought it not really expecting anything, and found myself blown away.

Some of my favorite books were shoved in front of my face by my brother. Still sort of accidental because I would never have chosen them if it were up to me. He would not stop talking about a book until I would grudgingly read the first few pages and then get hooked.

Most of the time, I would walk in a bookstore not knowing what I want to get - only knowing that I want to buy something to read. I would spend minutes to hours - although it's hard to keep track of time once you get yourself lost in between shelves, sometimes it even feels like days and you walk past the exit feeling as if you've just arrived from a trip, and maybe it is true - browsing around until I, by a process not entirely understood by me, choose a book.

Of course I would discover wonderful authors this way, and would go back another time to look for another book by them. But they all start with that aimless, blissful search.

Today was different. To satiate my almost painful craving for a good read after years of hiatus from novel-reading and novel-shopping, I purposefully marched in Fully Booked with a clear purpose: buy any Neil Gaiman piece. I heard a lot of rage about him these past few years (lots of praises from friends, blogs, etc.), but I have yet to find out how good he really is.

Don't disappoint me, American Gods. ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1756-Just-some-talk-about-books https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1748-Shape-Shifters Fri, 25 May 2012 19:09:13 GMT
I’m a little bit embarrassed by some of my old posts here in istorya. The fact that your old posts show up somewhere in your profile the moment someone hits “like” doesn’t help. But if anything, I realize how much I’ve changed over the years.


For one thing, I no longer blame myself for relationships that didn’t work. Sometimes blaming one’s self - or in my own words “i could have loved u. and love u i did! wa lang nako ma tarong ug show” (I’m trying my very best not to puke right now) - is a form of denial. Back then I couldn’t accept the fact that someone no longer wanted me, so I had to make it seem to myself as if it was all my fault that the person no longer felt the same way. For some very twisted reason, sometimes it is easier to believe that perhaps something is lacking with you or that something is terribly wrong with you than face the fact that you were duped.

It's okay to admit that you’re wrong if you did something wrong. What’s not okay is to excuse the other person entirely (at the expense of yourself) when the other person obviously did something (it takes two to tango after all). On the other hand, sometimes there is no right or wrong. Shit just happens.

Whereas some of my posts are nauseating, some make me say “How did I know that back then? I'm amazing!” :D


Despite the changes, parts of me stay the same. I still can’t live without lotion, still love cats, still invent crazy games with anyone willing to play with me; but even sameness is sometimes a process in itself.


We’re like clouds, shape-shifting to the weathers of our lives (and I swear I wasn’t thinking of Jose Mari Chan’s “Constant Change” when I wrote that line). ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1748-Shape-Shifters https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1667-Some-Kind-of-Goodbye Wed, 28 Mar 2012 16:23:48 GMT I find myself staring at books on my Shelfari page. I find myself removing Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice from my Favorites shelf. I find myself wondering if it was the right thing to do. After all, Jane’s long sentences and use of the word “affected” were fascinating to me and I knew I wouldn’t soon forget her. I found myself wanting, as I laid on the futon on the floor of my old room, to be as witty as Elizabeth. And of course, there was Mr. Darcy - intelligent, handsome, brooding Mr. Darcy. I longed to run in the rain, have my face flushed from the effort and have Mr. Darcy meet me in the middle of an open field, have him murmur sweet nothings to me as we go off into the sunset. I find myself mourning over the loss of my books, remembering how they felt, remembering the colors and figures on their covers, the places where I read them, the places where I found them - was it from some overly lit book store? Or some dark, dusty thrift shop? - as I remove yet another one from my list. It’s John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men this time. I remember frequently pausing in front of it on my various trips to the bookstore, perplexed. Always it stood on its spot on the shelf, thin and almost sad; staring at me in the face as if trying to tell me something. So one day I finally gave in and bought it even though I didn’t particularly liked mice. I bought it even though I never heard of it spoken by anyone before, no reviews nor recommendations. I remember how depressed I was for days; the last few pages stabbing me in places I didn’t know existed. I remember how the letters blurred and un-blurred with each wave of tears, how I hid in my room afraid that my companions would notice how swollen my eyes were and would not believe me if I told them it was because of this darn book and not because of a boy. Was it the right thing to do? To take down books from their places, out of my favorites list perhaps forever? What right do I have? Such masterpieces! I find myself staring at books on my Shelfari page. I find myself removing Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice from my Favorites shelf. I find myself wondering if it was the right thing to do. After all, Jane’s long sentences and use of the word “affected” were fascinating to me and I knew I wouldn’t soon forget her. I found myself wanting, as I laid on the futon on the floor of my old room, to be as witty as Elizabeth.

And of course, there was Mr. Darcy - intelligent, handsome, brooding Mr. Darcy. I longed to run in the rain, have my face flushed from the effort and have Mr. Darcy meet me in the middle of an open field, have him murmur sweet nothings to me as we go off into the sunset.

I find myself mourning over the loss of my books, remembering how they felt, remembering the colors and figures on their covers, the places where I read them, the places where I found them - was it from some overly lit book store? Or some dark, dusty thrift shop? - as I remove yet another one from my list. It’s John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men this time.

I remember frequently pausing in front of it on my various trips to the bookstore, perplexed. Always it stood on its spot on the shelf, thin and almost sad; staring at me in the face as if trying to tell me something. So one day I finally gave in and bought it even though I didn’t particularly liked mice. I bought it even though I never heard of it spoken by anyone before, no reviews nor recommendations.

I remember how depressed I was for days; the last few pages stabbing me in places I didn’t know existed. I remember how the letters blurred and un-blurred with each wave of tears, how I hid in my room afraid that my companions would notice how swollen my eyes were and would not believe me if I told them it was because of this darn book and not because of a boy.

Was it the right thing to do? To take down books from their places, out of my favorites list perhaps forever? What right do I have? Such masterpieces! ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1667-Some-Kind-of-Goodbye https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1551-Of-Catastrophes-Tact-and-What-Time-It-Is Sat, 24 Dec 2011 07:57:33 GMT Sendong brought heavy rains to Cebu a few days ago and I, together with a few friends, were caught up in one of its little arms of fury traveling from Mactan Island back to Cebu City from the beach at about 6 PM. It was one scary ride and being paranoid of storms ever since bagyong Roping hit Cebu about 20 years ago, I was beginning to doubt whether we would reach our destination. Memories of being away from my immediate family during a storm that howled at night came flooding back.

Our car windows kept fogging up and we could hardly see beyond 2 - 3 meters outside (I'm very bad at estimating distance, for sure it was nowhere near clear as a normal day). But as we neared our destination, the heavy downpour and strong winds began to subside and I breathed a sigh of relief. Sadly for the people of Cagayan de Oro and Iligan, the worst was yet to come.

Call me sentimental, but due to my nature and perhaps coupled with certain hormonal changes that occur on a consistent basis, I have shed tears more than a few times just thinking about the victims of Sendong; and knowing that whatever sorrow I feel over the catastrophe is nothing compared to theirs further wrenches my soul.

Aside from almost overwhelming sadness over what happened, I feel irked at the same time. I have read comments on the internet of people reacting to Sendong saying how they have nothing to complain about, how they are so exceedingly blessed to be alive today. I think it's very nice to appreciate life, I mean, truly, it’s very nice and there’s nothing wrong with it per se, but imagine saying that in front of all those people who have recently lost their love ones from the flash floods and you come off as tactless and pompous, even heartless. It reminds me of a phrase that was a huge hit years ago "ikaw na la'y pinangga sa Ginoo".

Although I was relieved that Cebu was safe, I cannot find it in my heart to say we are more special. In the light of what happened, it is not the time to bring out in particular the topic of how God loves you.

It is, however, time to make changes, to take a stand. The devastating effects of Sendong could have been minimized in more than a few ways including if there were leaders who were true advocates of the people.

Until such time that we choose our actions and decisions carefully, mistakes that could've been avoided will be made again. I'm not merely talking about voting wisely. I'm talking about making decisions - whether everyday decisions or huge decisions - that really matter; the results of which we may never see because they have such far-reaching effects; decisions that future generations can benefit from and take advantage of.

When Jose Rizal said that the youth is the hope of our nation, I don't think he merely meant that the youth will run the country or that the youth will solve the problems of the generation before them. I think he meant that the youth shall be the culmination of our dreams, or most of our dreams, come true - of everything we did right today so that whatever bad or evil befalls them during their time they have a better capacity to know what to do and a better capacity to lead mankind towards other adventures. Sounds very idealistic, but a girl can always dream and hope for a better future.

On a side note, I do not mean to insult religious people out there. But there are those who can memorize more lines from the Bible than they can be tactful - something somewhat surprising as tactfulness does not require a lot of memorization and should be easier. “Tact is the intelligence of the heart,” someone once said.

Indeed sometimes people, and I do not exclude myself from this, can get too preoccupied with what God can do for them rather than what they can do for God through his people. ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1551-Of-Catastrophes-Tact-and-What-Time-It-Is https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1476-Things-I-Miss-Doing-Having Wed, 26 Oct 2011 23:26:08 GMT In no particular order.

1. walks on the beach
2. reading sci-fi
3. watching 'Paris, Je T'aime' with no subtitles
4. white water rafting in Cagayan de Oro
5. a game of billiards with someone who knows how to play billiards =p
6. salbaro
7. lassi
8. taking pictures
9. videoke
10. floating on my back on water staring at the night/morning sky above me
11. riding the bike near my crush's house so that his dog can chase me and I'd have the fright of my life (happened once in high school). or simply just riding the bike.
12. basking in the glorious sunset on Northern wharfs
13. roller skating
14. inventing and playing games with my little sisters
15. walks with my grandmother
16. puto and sikwate
17. dusty jeepney rides away from the city
18, Indian food
19. Kublai Khan, not the person
20. all our cats and dogs ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1476-Things-I-Miss-Doing-Having https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1297-Hips-Do-Lie Sun, 17 Jul 2011 11:10:30 GMT They say men are attracted to women with wider hips because it's a sign that the woman is more capable of child-bearing than their "smaller-hipped" counterparts. But according to this maternal and child health nursing book I'm reading,

"Some women look as if they have wide pelvis but, in reality, have only wide iliac crests and a normal or even smaller-than-normal internal ring. Other women appear as if their pelvis will be small because the iliac crests are nonflaring, but the internal pelvis, the part that must be sufficiently large for childbirth, is of average size, allowing them to give birth vaginally without difficulty."

And that, my friends, is why some of the extremely petite women you may have known were able to have a normal (vaginal) delivery. Next time you see a pregnant girl with a small stature, don't automatically think "poor thing!" Hips do lie. ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1297-Hips-Do-Lie https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1242-Lost-Strangers Mon, 13 Jun 2011 00:36:57 GMT Ever saw a stranger roaming around on his own looking poor and homeless and you almost die of feeling thinking to yourself "Poor guy, where is his family? How can they just leave him like that? What's our government doing about this?"

Well now I know sometimes it's not the family's fault, nor the government's. He must have beaten his sisters or threatened his mother. He must have been on drugs and/or drinking too much alcohol until he finally alienated everyone close to him. His friends that were with him during "good times" does not help him and his family are too scared for their own lives to forgive him one more time. His wife/girlfriend was probably the last woman standing, but ultimately gave up - if he didn't kill her first - because her soul got too beaten up.

Now I understand why certain people simply have no mercy for some of these lost strangers - you see them smirk at the sight of them and you think "Why, this person does not feel for the less fortunate at all. He totally lacks empathy; how despicable" - but the truth is they simply know what led those strangers to be where they are now.

Next time you see a stranger roaming around looking poor and homeless, it's probably because of his own doing. ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1242-Lost-Strangers https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1237-To-Silver Thu, 09 Jun 2011 13:50:26 GMT Dear Silver,

I didn't really understand what you were trying to say when you called me on the phone. I heard you but I couldn't decipher the words. I can't say I was surprised - I have been overwhelmed by the sound of your voice too many times before; it's always so strong and almost growling, like a lion's. In fact, the first time I saw you you reminded me of a lion patiently waiting and looking for something; every movement planned, controlled. Whatever it is you have to go through, I hope you come out of it alive and kicking. You can do it, Teacher Brother Lover Friend Beautiful Stranger. Arrivederci. ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1237-To-Silver https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1213-another-unsent-%28don-t-read-if-you-re-looking-for-a-great-blog-entry%29 Thu, 19 May 2011 13:08:59 GMT K,

Of course someone will fall in love with you. Hey, I fell in love with you. In fact, someone might be falling in love with you as I speak (or write). She's falling in love with you faster than she likes to admit. And I wouldn't be surprised because "It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw".

--
Dearest T,

I'll never have you and you'll never have me. Even though sometimes we'd feel like kissing. :D

--
Jahbeonaddju,

I know you're a respected name somewhere. You're like this bear that people want to hug and run to for comfort. Your wisdom is immense and your heart pure, but I want my money back. Seriously. ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1213-another-unsent-%28don-t-read-if-you-re-looking-for-a-great-blog-entry%29 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1208-surprise Sun, 15 May 2011 13:14:36 GMT Dear Keradon,

I was planning to surprise you with eggs in a basket and one of your favorite drinks for breakfast one of these days. But that's no longer plausible.

That's my only regret. ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1208-surprise https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1205-One-Art Fri, 13 May 2011 01:50:07 GMT The art of losing isn’t hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster. Lose something every day. Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. The art of losing isn’t hard to master. Then practice losing farther, losing faster: places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel. None of these will bring disaster. I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or next-to-last, of three loved houses went. The art of losing isn’t hard to master. I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster, some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent. I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster. —Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident the art of losing’s not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster. Elizabeth Bishop The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel.
None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last,
or next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.


Elizabeth Bishop ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?1205-One-Art https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?982-Blah-blah Fri, 26 Nov 2010 14:33:34 GMT Just had a foot soak and a facial at home. I feel good. Really ought to take care of myself better. Might be frequenting Abellana soon, do Yoga again, some lunges and some dancing in the shower. Need to gain weight fast! It's hard to gain weight here, though; I think the only food that can make me really gain weight, and fast, is Indian/Pakistani food. Anyway, I'll have to try.


I'm already so sleepy. 10:53 PM used to be too early for me to sleep. I'm typing this with my eyes half-closed. This is good. I'm so close to my goal of being a normal person who sleeps at night and wakes up in the morning. Yawn.


Arrivederci. ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?982-Blah-blah https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?959-Need-O-blood-donors Thu, 04 Nov 2010 18:51:40 GMT My friend's dad is currently admitted in a hospital here in Cebu and needs 3 O+ blood donors. If you are willing to help, please PM me or contact me at 0932 550 2308. Thanks in advance. Your help will be greatly appreciated. ]]> splendid moonlight https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?959-Need-O-blood-donors