https://www.istorya.net/forums/blog.php?55184-xinevirtucio en Wed, 20 May 2026 10:15:09 GMT vBulletin 300 https://www.istorya.net/forums/images/metro/blue/misc/rss.jpg https://www.istorya.net/forums/blog.php?55184-xinevirtucio https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2183-My-Sweet-Agony Wed, 19 Jun 2013 08:05:08 GMT I watched you gaze into the sunset
I watched you bask under the sun's setting rays
Your eyes sparkled as you watch the sea turn into gold
Then I wondered when will those eyes look at me that way

You turned around, I felt my heart skip a beat
I pretended to gaze into the horizon, as if you did not exist
Yet, I can still feel your presence, enveloping me, making it hard to breathe
Be still my heart! I reprimanded, for there is no way you will notice me

Loving you in silence is all that I can do
Pretending you are mine is my sole consolation
True, I long to hold you in my arms
True, I long to feel your lips against mine

My heart wants to know how it feels to be loved by you
To look into those eyes and watch them sparkle with love and desire
But then you are like a dream, a dream that will never become a reality
I know someday, someday I will have to let you go, my bittersweet dream

You started to walk away, you begin to fade into the distance
I felt the urge to stop you, but I have to leave you be
I pray that you take away with you this love that I feel
For loving you from afar is too much of a sweet agony to bear ]]> xinevirtucio https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2183-My-Sweet-Agony https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2178-This-Gloomy-Weather-and-My-Senseless-Thoughts Thu, 13 Jun 2013 14:58:37 GMT amazing what a gloomy weather can do to your thoughts...

my thoughts are exactly way out of line...

these thoughts are suppose to be non-existent...well, technically it shouldn't exist in the first place...or else it will be a never ending battle between my logical and illogical self.

life, in its simplest form is obviously simple...

we, who claim to be living the life, are the ones who complicate it...

well, probably because simple is often associated with boring...

complications make life a tad bit more exciting (i think)...

feelings and emotions often play a big role in these complications...

sometimes, emotions that bring about complications should be ignored...

some sprouting feelings should be stomped and killed before it takes hold...or else it will be too late...

complications often bring tears to our eyes...at times or most of the time it leaves scars on our hearts...

yet, no matter how painful, depressing, obsessive it can get, we cannot completely avoid complications...

most of the time...we find ourselves drawn to it...

our logical self tells us to stay away...yet our illogical self is telling us to go on...

and usually, we listen to our illogical self...because the "what if" question is just too much to be left unanswered...

i'm probably not making any sense now...for my thoughts are going in various directions...

keeping them aligned is a hopeless feat...i just leave them as they are...

for even though how many times i convince myself that I am the master of my fate my reciting Invictus over and over again...

one thing is for sure...

there are just some things you and I could not...control... ]]> xinevirtucio https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2178-This-Gloomy-Weather-and-My-Senseless-Thoughts https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2175-Mindless-Ranting Tue, 11 Jun 2013 11:53:47 GMT Simple as it may seem
There are things in life that can't be explained
Questions like how, what, where, why
Can often remain unanswered

Life without emotion is often meaningless
Yet somehow emotions can lead one astray
Give in and you might regret it
Resist it and you might regret it still

Some things are meant to be
While some are not just for you
Of course in life you cannot have everything
Which is why you have to deal with disappointments too!

There are times you find yourself wondering
Why now, why not before
Yet answers ever so often elude you
So, you let out a sigh, because there is nothing you can do

Such is the game they call life
Where solutions and answers keep on changing
Solving it is often futile
Which is why you might be better off playing the game for awhile ]]> xinevirtucio https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2175-Mindless-Ranting https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2170-Ghost-of-Boyfriends-Past Fri, 07 Jun 2013 11:30:50 GMT well not that their ghosts are still haunting...cause they're not..and no i'm not denying...

it just dawned on me...how far i've come..

from puppy loves....to tumultuous relationships...to pretentious relationships....to unstable relationships...

then a more serious...laid back..easy going....stable relationship....

i remember having to change boyfriends almost every year....making me look like a B*TCH...an easy girl...

people judge me based on my actions...however, they failed to see the reason behind it...

they failed to see the horror i have to deal with...the words laced with acid that i have to swallow....

i may not be the perfect girlfriend but heck...i did what they want to keep then happy...

then again in the end i am the one who failed to do my part....in the end i am the one who caused the failure of the so-called relationship.

i remember most of them telling me that i am too much to handle...that i am simply too maldita for them....

those are their reasons...reasons for getting rid of me...

and then i end up telling them...well then if you can' take me for who i am..then you can get the H*LL out of my life.

i can't help but wonder....before i get into a relationship...i always lay my cards face up..i tell them who i am...what i am..what my flaws are...and everything about my past....

and these egotistical maniacs....still end up assuring me they can handle me...they are capable of understanding me....

yet in the end...i am left...broken....

i've been used...played....abandoned...torn...

but somehow..i never learned my lesson....because i am always ready to fall in love again...

i wouldn't want to start counting...because...the memories are starting to fade...

at one point i didn't expect to find someone who will accept me for who i am without pretense without false assurances....

at one point i thought..i'd be better off alone..breaking hearts and leaving them in pieces...then again i am not capable of that...

i am not a heart breaker...which is the exact opposite of what people thought of me...

i not the one breaking hearts....they're the one's breaking my heart over and over again..

too often i even wonder how i survived...

i realized it was so wrong to think too far ahead especially when it comes to relationships...

just because it is your first love...that doesn't mean you will end up with him....

then again..is there such a thing as first love??

how can one love...eclipse the rest...is that utterly possible??

i used to believe in that...until i met someone...and i realized that it's nothing but crap...

and with this someone i came to realize that all the boys i've been with...are nothing but boys...

they are not man enough to stand by me...not man enough to keep their word..

and not man enough to stay committed...temptation is just too much for them to handle...

ahhh....boys....

these ex-boyfriends..did taught me a lot when it comes to relationships...

and despite making me feel like i am not worth...

these boys were once a part of my life...

if not for these boys

i would still be a wimp...up to the present...

thankfully...they've taught that someone better than them existed....:D ]]> xinevirtucio https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2170-Ghost-of-Boyfriends-Past https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2164-Dying-of-Love Wed, 29 May 2013 01:09:14 GMT I woke up in the middle of the night… I can feel the cold crisp wind blowing against my face… I sat in my bed heaving…. Why am I breathless?.... I never left my bed… Then a sharp pain pierced my heart… So sudden I held my breath… I held my chest so tightly as if I could rip my heart out… And then it happened again, a sharp pain… I felt something flowing, trickling down my bosom… It was so dark I couldn’t see… I held on to my chest even tighter… I started to shiver, I was so cold… I thought it was over, and then again the sharp pain pierced my heart once more… I grew dizzy, everything was swirling… I removed my hand from my chest… I held it right in front of me, it was red… I froze, my hand is red…red with blood… Did I kill someone?... Did I pierce my own heart?.... The room is swirling even more… I dropped my hand… I felt all my energy drain… I went limp and fell on the floor… And then there was a shadow over me… It was standing majestically right above me…. I held out my hand, a desperate cry for help… It pierced me again, so deep I can feel my heart tore… Life is slowly walking away from me… I felt tears fall down my face… And then the shadow knelt beside me…. I was so limp; I couldn’t turn my head… I heard the shadow whisper: “I am sorry”… And it pierced me again, deeper now, more painful… I saw the thing piercing me; it glistened in the moonlight… I saw the shadow smile…. I recognized the smile… Everything is closing; the room is turning black… My eyes are closing, I feel much colder now… I know that smile, I repeated, I know that smile… Oh, it as him, it was him… I felt it again, he tore my heart again just like before… His hands are red, so red it looked like blood… It was blood…my blood… He took my heart in his hands and pierced it tearing it into pieces… I saw him walk away… I tried to raise my hand but I was so weak… And he is gone; I am all alone again… It was the middle of the night… And it happened; I drifted into a deep slumber, never to be awakened again, not even by the man I love… I woke up in the middle of the night…
I can feel the cold crisp wind blowing against my face…
I sat in my bed heaving….
Why am I breathless?....
I never left my bed…

Then a sharp pain pierced my heart…
So sudden I held my breath…
I held my chest so tightly as if I could rip my heart out…
And then it happened again, a sharp pain…
I felt something flowing, trickling down my bosom…

It was so dark I couldn’t see…
I held on to my chest even tighter…
I started to shiver, I was so cold…
I thought it was over, and then again the sharp pain pierced my heart once more…
I grew dizzy, everything was swirling…

I removed my hand from my chest…
I held it right in front of me, it was red…
I froze, my hand is red…red with blood…
Did I kill someone?...
Did I pierce my own heart?....

The room is swirling even more…
I dropped my hand…
I felt all my energy drain…
I went limp and fell on the floor…
And then there was a shadow over me…

It was standing majestically right above me….
I held out my hand, a desperate cry for help…
It pierced me again, so deep I can feel my heart tore…
Life is slowly walking away from me…
I felt tears fall down my face…

And then the shadow knelt beside me….
I was so limp; I couldn’t turn my head…
I heard the shadow whisper: “I am sorry”…
And it pierced me again, deeper now, more painful…
I saw the thing piercing me; it glistened in the moonlight…

I saw the shadow smile….
I recognized the smile…
Everything is closing; the room is turning black…
My eyes are closing, I feel much colder now…
I know that smile, I repeated, I know that smile…

Oh, it as him, it was him…
I felt it again, he tore my heart again just like before…
His hands are red, so red it looked like blood…
It was blood…my blood…
He took my heart in his hands and pierced it tearing it into pieces…

I saw him walk away…
I tried to raise my hand but I was so weak…
And he is gone; I am all alone again…
It was the middle of the night…
And it happened; I drifted into a deep slumber, never to be awakened again, not even by the man I love… ]]> xinevirtucio https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2164-Dying-of-Love https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2163-Cheater Wed, 29 May 2013 01:07:41 GMT I saw the way you look at me
I know it wasn't the same way as what used to be
You are probably wondering what went wrong
With something that used to be so strong

It wasn't me who changed but you
It was something that you chose to do
Though it is one of my greatest fears
I opted for a life without tears

The moment you stepped closer and kissed her
You knew you just lost something so dear
I need not to know
Because I can feel you're longing for someone new

It is not the same look you used to give me
And I am not blind not to see
It is her that you desire to kiss
And together you will live a life of bliss

As you turn around and go
May you forever remember the time that is not so long ago
Remember the name of the woman whose heart you chose to break
Along with the life you intend to take

True, it is painful to see you walk away
But on the ground my heart now lay
Broken and shredded
This is not how it should've ended

A part of me is forever with you
Does not matter if you are with somebody new
It can be a curse or a memory
But one thing is for sure, she will suffer from our story ]]> xinevirtucio https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2163-Cheater https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2162-So-Long-Sweet-Love Wed, 29 May 2013 01:05:54 GMT So long sweet love
Though your lips tasted like wine
I see no point in keeping you here in my heart
It breaks my heart to push you away
But you have tested my resolve beyond its breaking point

So long sweet love
You were the childhood fantasy I've always held in my heart
Your were the knight in shining armor that I've always longed for
And though I made a promise to love you, I just can't
I can't love you because my hands are tired, eventhough my heart is not

So long sweet love
How I wish it is me and you, not me and him
I've fought bravely but you still managed to steal my heart
Now, before I lose control I bid you good bye
It is time for you to move on and leave me be

So long sweet love
It shook me to the core to watch you walk away
The world crumbled upon me when you kissed me good bye
I know I will never be the same after this
As you walk away I pray that you don't look back

So long sweet love
This is our last good bye
Though everything feels right with you I just cannot give you my heart
I stand here hugging myself watching you fade into the distance
I will never be the same, not after you took my heart with you

So long sweet love
Try as I may, I know i will never forget you
Now that you are gone I am left with nothing but memories
My sweet love, I will never love him the way I loved you
Good bye...my sweet love


-NOTE-
This is for the people...

who has loved the right person at the wrong time ]]> xinevirtucio https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2162-So-Long-Sweet-Love https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2161-An-Ode-to-All-Fathers Wed, 29 May 2013 01:03:46 GMT It is June once again. Another month in another year but is June just a mere month that passes by?
It is just a month that you can forget about when July comes?
June, what you do you think about when hear the month June?
Naturally, you think about school and weddings and of course, the Philippine Independence.
Are you forgetting something? Well, of course you are. You probably forgot that every third Sunday of June we celebrate Father's Day.

Like me, like you we tend to forget about this very special day. Why? It is probably because we rarely see our dads, probably because they are too busy and we find ourselves thinking that they have taken us for granted. This is probably because we pay little attention to them since they are so engrossed with work.

We children sometimes look at our father's in an add manner. Sometimes we even see them as the villain in a movie rather than a super hero.

When we are younger, we see them as our superman without the cape. However, as we grow up we begin to see them in a different way. We begin to notice the amount of time they spend at work. We begin to break the rules they set and we begin to blame them for ignoring us or for being too hard on us. We then find ourselves painting a different picture of our fathers.

For the most part of the year we probably abhor them for spending too much time at work. This part we often fail to understand.

Fathers work because they need to support their families. Love, care, and affection are not enough to keep the family alive and living comfortably.

Let us not be hypocrites and tell our fathers to work less because it does not matter if we do not have enough money to buy food just as long as we are together. Let us drop the BS because we all know without proper income, families can still fall apart.

Let us stop judging our dads for being workaholics. Let us view things in their perspective. It is not easy for fathers to say no to their children. It is not easy for fathers to skip on school programs because he has to work. Our fathers are constantly fighting a battle everytime they need to go on overtime.

Father's who work overseas should be commended as well. It is not easy to spend each day being away from your child, from your family. I grew up with my dad overseas.

He missed almost every single FIRSTS in my life. Yet I never blamed him for missing almost everything because without his sacrifices I won't be standing where I am now.

Without his sacrifices, my dreams will never become a reality.
Even when we disagree I never found the courage to make him feel that he is not a good father
because HE IS A GOOD FATHER.

I cannot seem to understand the sons and daughters of OFW dads who condemn their fathers for leaving them. Who abhor their fathers for working abroad. Who treat their fathers as banks and only goes to them when they need something.

Like us, our Fathers need our love and affection too and Father's Day is the best time to show them our appreciation.

Actually, everyday should be mother's day or father's day. But since the 3rd sunday of June is Father's day let us make this day extra special for our hardworking fathers.

Let us not take our fathers for granted and even when they are spending most of their time at work,

remember, that he is thinking about us.

To all tatay, papa, papsy, paps, dad, daddy out there, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

To my papa: UR FATHER'S DAY CELEBRATION IS ON ME :)

you seldom come home in time for Father's day and your Birthday...it is about time for me to take you out on a date :) ]]> xinevirtucio https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?2161-An-Ode-to-All-Fathers