https://www.istorya.net/forums/blog.php?22456-apleasingchaos en Thu, 21 May 2026 04:42:27 GMT vBulletin 300 https://www.istorya.net/forums/images/metro/blue/misc/rss.jpg https://www.istorya.net/forums/blog.php?22456-apleasingchaos https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?910-a-little-less Mon, 27 Sep 2010 18:31:06 GMT months ago?
nah...

more like years ago!

for those "years ago" I have learned to be tough,
learned how " not to be swayed on by charms",
learned how to be on guard from those "sly" ones,
learned how to move and be on the watch.

Yes, I have become defensive.

It did not happen overnight. Nor over a span of months.
But years.. of pains, joys and trials.

What brought me thinking about this now?

It'll be another year for me.
Of my age and of my singleness.

Yes. I'm talking about my relationship status.

These are my straight confessions. Only on few times of the year.
Yes, I have what I want. What I dreamed and worked hard for..
At this point, I have become so comfortable with my status.

They ask me if I ever get lonely.
I'm human. Yes, I do. But I have gone past that stage that I get lonely and "Wish for someone to be there"
So yes, I get lonely.
But I don't get empty.

I don't have anything against relationships.
I'm all for it.
But for me, I guess, now I can admit...

I'm too scared ...

I know I'm stronger now. Smarter now. Tougher now.
But it's scarier now.
Now, that I have more understanding.
Now, that I am capable of hurting someone.

Most people think that my life is "lonely" , knowing that I don'thave a relationship.
On the contrary, I find it.... alive!
I maybe independent, but I'm not lonely.
I am complete on my own and I technically am not in search of someone to complete me.
But rather, maybe, someone who is also complete and both, we'll complement each other.


A few more days before it turns another year.
I'm happy and alive.
Single still, yes.

Maybe this year. I'll have some courage to be less scared.

a little less cared..
a little less pressure..

a little courage..
a little this.. a little that..

maybe something..
a lot like love.. ]]> christa https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?910-a-little-less https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?870-wall Thu, 26 Aug 2010 18:47:01 GMT Was walking through an known path whilst deep in thought.
A lot of things were running through my mind..

nothing as big as the recent hostage taking scene..
nothing controversial like the major major scene
nothing polluted like the everyday scene..

oh just those bits and framgments of everyday thoughts..
like ," what's going to happen next month?"
like, " if it's gonna have another typhoon on september.."
like, if i'll wake up earlier tomorrow or same as usual..
like, this and that..



a slow step.. a lingering thought..
another step.. a branching thought..
step here.. step there.. this thought here.. wondering a bit..
a whole path taken.. a chain of thoughts thought.

just as i thought, there's more path ahead
i turned , and i realized... i just hit a wall.. ]]> christa https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?870-wall https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?325-standout-madness Sat, 25 Apr 2009 17:02:21 GMT what's left? what's there?
how will u find the answers.. when you are running out of questions?


you look for the answers..
search for the meaning
but what happens, when you cant find the questions?
when you dont know what to search for?

what's left for you to fill in.
when you can't ask ..why? what? how?


does it mean that u've finally found it?
or is it a proof of.. standout madness? ]]> christa https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?325-standout-madness https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?319-misplaced-placebo Mon, 20 Apr 2009 17:15:34 GMT There is one section in this forum that I don't frequent..
Although it is interesting to read, it just seems to me, that is always a clash of varied opinions.:D
( with much respect to the regulars in this section.. :bow:)
I find it "very opinionated".


But for tonight , wanting a little change, I wandered into the "Spirituality and Occult " section..

wandering ..wandering..
thread to thread..
hmm.. hmm..

I got interested in this certain thread about
"The Gospel of the Atheists"

lovely!.. isn't it interesting?!
it is .. it really is! :thumbsup:

which got me thinking..atheism.?
what is it?

aside from the definition that wikipedia offers, what really is atheism .?!!

is it the belief "no GOD" ?
or the practice of having " no GOD" ?

confusing..

i wont argue.. let's leave that discussion to the atheists..

i'll take my own case.. I'm a catholic.
not the "churchy" type though.
but I have a full belief in GOD and that he is my supreme being.
I dont live by the "book". But I do my best to live morally. I respect the things around me..

Does that make me more of a person than an atheist?

NO...
hard as i try to live in "straight path" I am still a top sinner..

whheeeww... religion..
is always a "touchy " subject for me..
to each is his own belief..

one poster said this line..:


Religion is not the opium of the masses. Religion is the placebo of the masses


-----------


cant argue with that..
i dont take drugs.so I guess the placebo works for me..

:thumbsup: ]]> christa https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?319-misplaced-placebo https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?316 Sat, 18 Apr 2009 17:00:56 GMT i laugh.. many times a day..
i smile.. many times a day..

i cry.. i don't..

does it make me insincere? unfeeling? unserious?
no, it makes me go on..

i have nothing against tears..emotions and feelings.. i have all that..
i have it all safely "kept " away..

i don't wish it to go away.. i know its real.
i'm asking for a little more strength.. a little more spirit..

a single tear, holds a lot of emotions... a lot of stories.. a lot of happiness and a lot of things kept hidden..

i try to smile..and laugh.. i have to face the world, strong, just as it had stood strong for me..
and the people i love.. i cant let them worry about me..


i laugh.. a lot..
for in between the times i laugh, is a wave of emotions hiding inside and a pool of tears kept hidden..
i smile.. a lot..

i cry.. i don't.. hopefully, i won't.. ]]> christa https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?316 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?312-hate-oh-hate%21-oh-hate%21 Wed, 15 Apr 2009 18:43:31 GMT i hate this part...


nope.. that's not me talking.
It's title of the song..:p
1 word-- hate.

such a strong word .
such a strong emotion.

i hate the word hate.not because i'm an advocate of peace.
i just hate it's implication.


so what's hate..? its the opposite of love.
that's it..!

I've always believed.. there is a thin line between hate and love.. u can be at the boundaries of both at the same time..

havent said the words "i love you." for a long long time.. i'm losing touch with its meaning.

but believe me when I say " i hate you!" ]]> christa https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?312-hate-oh-hate%21-oh-hate%21 https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?276-rain-it-does-know-when-to-fall Sun, 01 Mar 2009 19:49:38 GMT What's it with rain that makes u want to stop and take it easy?

It's raining outside.. good thing it's 1 AM in the morning and most people are already asleep.
But once it rains sometime during the day , it seems like the surroundings is in slow motion.
Makes you want to sit down.. talk.. free conversation..
it just flows.. it just comes out..
looking at the raindrops..it makes u remember the times when u were young and carefree..
remember the time when u danced in the rain..?
that time, when you first held hands with your someone special..?
or that time , when you cried yourself to sleep , while it was raining outside?

I'm no exemption, im remembering memories now..
come on rain.. fall ..fall..fall..
let the rain wash away the tears..
carry with it the dreams..
create moments..

what's it with rain?

hhmmm..im left wondering..


hmmm... i'm caught ]]> christa https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?276-rain-it-does-know-when-to-fall https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?229-first-time Tue, 17 Feb 2009 16:17:52 GMT First blog entry here and am not sure what to write about.
What is it with first times, that makes one just want to do it right?
hahahaa!
First steps of a child.. parents just go ooohh..
aaahhh..take a picture and go teary eyed knowing that their baby can walk.

First time someone falls in love.. the person goes all clean and neat. always at their best self. always a smile on their face.
hahaa! its funny how many first times we had in our lives, but still every first time always hold some kind of magic..

I had my share of "first" this afternoon...
What is it?
I drank milk in Figaro for the first time.
yep! i did.. :D

funny ei?! i didnt say it was something big , grand or life-turning..i just said it was the first..
haha! how was it?! hmm..well, their milk .... it tastes like..milk.. hehehe
but my going there, turned out to be great. It was unexpected, unplanned, but it went great!
I guess, that's what holds the magic of "first times" .
Unexpected. Unplanned.Nice and it leads to something great.

Oh well, I remember this one line in one of my favorite songs..I actually, believe in this.
the line says..

....it feels like the first time.....



^-^ ]]> christa https://www.istorya.net/forums/entry.php?229-first-time