Words Get In The Way, All The Time

MY NAME IS ELVISHTATTOO. I WILL DIE AT 37

MY COUSIN HAS JUST DIED. HE HAD TUBERCULOSIS, WHICH COMPLICATED HIS HEALTH SCARE. HE WAS DIAGNOSED TO BE HIV POSITIVE A FEW YEARS BACK.

BUT I’M NOT WRITING ABOUT THAT. I WAS NOT TORMENTED WITH THE LOSS. HE WAS NOT CLOSE A COUSIN TO ME THOUGH HE WENT TO THE SAME HIGH SCHOOL WITH MY OLDER SISTERS.
THIS IS ALL ABOUT DYING.

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, I HAD A VISION THAT I WILL DIE WHEN I AM 37 YEARS OLD. I DON’T RECALL

...

I have been contemplating about leaving my job. I had enough. I can bear the long nights and the bad calls. I just can't manage the anxiety, social conflict causes me. There is just something about some people that does not contribute to my well being. Still here are the things that I will miss when I quit this job...


* Breakfasts @ I.T - strolling along IT park with people who laugh at work's challenges has always been good for me. At least in the morning.

...

Today is my 28th birthday.
I am at work when the clock struck 12 midnight.
I got warm wishes but I felt cold.
It could have been warmer under the blanket with PaO and my husband, Franklin.
It is sad and happy as I turn a year older.
There's a lot of reasons to celebrate.
My friends who remember and my family who never forgets.
I have never felt smarter in all my years.
It seems that I have become a different individual all of a sudden. ...

I want to feel sick in the morning.
I want to feel heavy with you growing.
I want the pain when I deliver.
I want to be a mother.

I want to hear you breathing.
I want to see you crying.
I want to grasp your innocence.
I want to be a mother.

I want to give you all vanity.
I want to show you things of beauty.
I want to pamper you forever.
I want to be a mother.

I want to wake up at dawn,
I want to stare ...

I have been here before.
This feeling is so familiar.
The thoughts are all so beautiful.
I truly have been here before.

I look at you from a distance.
Still I can't look into your eyes.
There is magic in your stare that I can't overcome.
You meet my wit with your charm.

Your presence stun me.
The thought of you near me makes me clinch.
I do not know if I am in pain.
Your aura drains the best word out me. ...

ang akong amiga, gwapa.
hamis, taas ug ilong, maayo ug barog. sexy.
maayo ug trabaho, naay awto ug gikan sa maayong pamilya.
sa akong tan-aw, utokan sad siya.

sa akong opisina, naay lalaki nga gwapo.
hamis, taas ug ilong, maayo ug barog. hunk.
sa call center mi nag trabaho, maong dako ug sweldo.
sa akong tan-aw, ulitawo.

ang akong amiga ni sumbong nako nga naa siyay na gustohan nga gwapo.
dili lang siya mag saba kung ...

such a bad day.
just when i am about to leave my cubicle, a swarm of idiots flooded the floor.
they are just all over the place that there is no air to breathe!
bloody *****s are running around like horses!

their presence is just plain suffocating.
hearing their noise is toxic.
to get them to talk is disaster.
the places they go to burn like wildfire.