Warning: This is a rant!

[BeoR]

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You can always talk to them and give them your guidelines. Teach them as you have given them everything on a silver platter in the past. I would set a budget and give them a list of what they are for. Anything beyond that is no longer your responsibility. If they lose power, so be it. You already gave them a limit and they know it. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way.

[yokam888]

send them only a fixed amount every month. and let them budget it or supplement it with the rental properties your family owns. ingna lang nga grabe sacrifice imong ginabuhat para nila, and in turn, you expect them to also make sacrifices. (16k electricity bill? and 5k water? that is way too much). 30k-40k should be enough monthly, kung unsa makuha nila sa properties for rent ninyo, supplement na to sa monthly budget.

dont support your 6 year old niece. its the responsibility of your 25 year old sister. (or her husband/father of the child)

tell your other siblings who are still in school, you will just pay for their tuition for 4 years (im assuming they are or will be in college), your support will stop whether they graduate or not after 4 years. ang baon apil na sa fixed amount you send them monthly.

good luck TS, and dont forget to pray for guidance.

[nitwit]

I'm sad to hear what you've been thru.
I hate to say, and I'm sorry to say this... That the problem was on you. And because, the problem is on you, then the solution is also on you.
Being generous is good, but too much generosity is not. As a song goes to say, too much love will kill you. Your problem has been rooted. How deep is its root, I'm not sure. How deep it is, is also how tough you have to make your heart is. Giving them too much is not helping them, at least you're not helping them the right way. Continuing to do what is not right is stupidity.

Stop, and think a million times what you've gone wrong. Correct your errors slowly and gradually. It is not easy. It is a sacrifice that you have to make. Since you are going to sacrifice, let them sacrifice too. Teach them the good lesson. Don't spoil them. Let them feel and let them appreciate your goodness. Just be warned that abandoning them abruptly won't do any good either. It will just create hates and all your sacrifices will just go in vain. Stay with them and bring them back to the right track. To those that you can afford losing your whole life, kick them out of your way. If you'll do what you're suppose to do, I'm sure it will be a big happy family ever after. A happy ending!

just my two cents

If only Mike Holmes has to tell you, "Do It Right The First Time..."

If i send less, she will still not be happy and we will just be arguing and fighting on the phone. Im not far from being disowned and i feel like i couldnt care less.

Id rather be left alone than having to put up with dramas everyday. I, myself tried to avoid dramas if i can. I dont create problems but why is it i still get problems out of nowhere?!

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Tough love! U gotta make up some bs bout no longer bein able to send d moohlah she wants...
My x was in a similar pinch, so she made up some scenario dat she needs help from her fam here...
It ended quite ok with the reversal thingy... Hope yul hav d same luck...

Bout yur older sis - dats jst plain crazy!! Let me d married guy suck d bill!!
If dis was my sis, id pop d knee cap on dis guy...

So pretend that were broke? Thats tough. She will be ringing our company number and will be asking the secetary and i dont like finding myself explaining to the secretary what the hell is going on. I was actually thinking on doing this but then they'll be alot of work involved including, deleting our company websites and changing all phone numbers? Just the amount of work to be done to make them believe that were broke wil take alot of time. My husband actually thought about this but we have been told that itll cost us alot of money plus more work for the scretary and she wont be too happy.

[kageron]

I wish im not though. Even my own psychologist find it hard to remedy my problems. She even thinks that no matter what i do, someone will get hurt in the process of trying to fix things to make it right. She was too careful of the advice she was giving me because she didnt want to be held responsible if anything goes wrong

Worst case scenario is i might loose my mum which is not new. She has tried putting herself in hunger strike if i dont give in,

So its either i loose my mum or i loose myself.

because you can't have both things all of the same time.

I think id choose myself because i cant blame waking up in the morning knowing ive caused her that pain that she had to end her life and
having to askfor forgiveness for my siblings? Thats another thing.

Your moms gonna die everyone dies. If you die who will solve the problem? Do you want to die having a grunge since you left something unfinished seriously no.

When you quit you lose, your weak. If not changes will occur but some of them might not what you expect and not what you want so there for do things straight to meet your satisfactions.

Give and provide what they need not what they want. Stop spoiling them learn to say NO for quite sometimes.

[nitwit]

You can always talk to them and give them your guidelines. Teach them as you have given them everything on a silver platter in the past. I would set a budget and give them a list of what they are for. Anything beyond that is no longer your responsibility. If they lose power, so be it. You already gave them a limit and they know it. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way.

But sir i did that, left 40k before i left for food ang grocerries, a week after she was ringing me already asking for more and i told her no. Then she turned to an angry gorrilla on the phone just yelling and screaming that i am being ruthless...she even asked me where is she going to pluck the money from because she doesnt work. Just the abuse i get from her on the phone is enough to just want to give her what she wants to shut her up because i know she wont leave me alone.

If i can put up an avo (apprehended violence order) for my mum i would have done it a long time ago. That she can only talk to me once a month and 15 minutes max!

[bearish]

If i send less, she will still not be happy and we will just be arguing and fighting on the phone. Im not far from being disowned and i feel like i couldnt care less.

Id rather be left alone than having to put up with dramas everyday. I, myself tried to avoid dramas if i can. I dont create problems but why is it i still get problems out of nowhere?!

If they are not contented of what you can provide, so be it. Don't blame yourself if they are miserable. They just don't know how to appreciate the food that is being provided for them on the table. Create and establish a rule for them and they should be bound on it. Anything beyond your rule is their responsibility. Let them have the sense of responsibility. Don't do all the things for them.

For yourself, be glad, be happy and treat yourself fairly. You've done your part and you also have a life to care of. Go out and enjoy. Don't think too much about them. Take them out of your mind once in awhile. Treat yourself and enjoy. You deserve a big break.

[BeoR]

But sir i did that, left 40k before i left for food ang grocerries, a week after she was ringing me already asking for more and i told her no. Then she turned to an angry gorrilla on the phone just yelling and screaming that i am being ruthless...she even asked me where is she going to pluck the money from because she doesnt work. Just the abuse i get from her on the phone is enough to just want to give her what she wants to shut her up because i know she wont leave me alone.

If i can put up an avo (apprehended violence order) for my mum i would have done it a long time ago. That she can only talk to me once a month and 15 minutes max!

You do know that you hold all the cards right? What if she argues and curses you? As I said, they have to learn the hard way. Sooner or later they'll realise that you mean business and will eventually stay within the confines of your rules. They are only acting that way because you are allowing them to... by allowing them to emotionally bully you, they get what they want. If you show them that it won't work anymore, they will eventually discipline themselves.

[nitwit]

You do know that you hold all the cards right? What if she argues and curses you? As I said, they have to learn the hard way. Sooner or later they'll realise that you mean business and will eventually stay within the confines of your rules. They are only acting that way because you are allowing them to... by allowing them to emotionally bully you, they get what they want. If you show them that it won't work anymore, they will eventually discipline themselves.

She then put herself in a hunger strike after 4 days or i think 5 that i still didnt send money. Im in so much fear of checking my phone everyday because the messages ive been egtting from her are just bills piling up. And my siblings are very upset because my mum told them that they should be all in a hunger strike because i am not sending enough and if she dies, to make sure that they will keep reminding me of how ruthless i am so i can forever carry the burden. I really think she needs help but i know there is no decent mental instituion there. My husband think shes lost the plot. Her behaviour is just appalling. If she doesnt get her way, she gives me threats of hurting herself and she has no fear of doing it.

[spartan301]

If i send less, she will still not be happy and we will just be arguing and fighting on the phone. Im not far from being disowned and i feel like i couldnt care less.

Id rather be left alone than having to put up with dramas everyday. I, myself tried to avoid dramas if i can. I dont create problems but why is it i still get problems out of nowhere?!

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So pretend that were broke? Thats tough. She will be ringing our company number and will be asking the secetary and i dont like finding myself explaining to the secretary what the hell is going on. I was actually thinking on doing this but then they'll be alot of work involved including, deleting our company websites and changing all phone numbers? Just the amount of work to be done to make them believe that were broke wil take alot of time. My husband actually thought about this but we have been told that itll cost us alot of money plus more work for the scretary and she wont be too happy.

Not necessarily broke... Business isnt doin dat well.. Im sure yur sec isnt dat familiar with yur companys financials... Uness yur mom knows yur accounting depts numbers... A big client pulled out n yur bank loan got affected thereby squeezin yur cashflow... Or u stacked on d wrong inventory.. Nway, jst a few ideas to play with... Thou, yea, yur sec will surely raise her eyebrows...

[BeoR]

She then put herself in a hunger strike after 4 days or i think 5 that i still didnt send money. Im in so much fear of checking my phone everyday because the messages ive been egtting from her are just bills piling up. And my siblings are very upset because my mum told them that they should be all in a hunger strike because i am not sending enough and if she dies, to make sure that they will keep reminding me of how ruthless i am so i can forever carry the burden. I really think she needs help but i know there is no decent mental instituion there. My husband think shes lost the plot. Her behaviour is just appalling. If she doesnt get her way, she gives me threats of hurting herself and she has no fear of doing it.

Well the ball is in your hands. Either you play them or they play you. Just imagine for a moment what will happen when you move on from this life? If you don't teach them the value of money now, how will it look like later? If she hurts herself, is it because of you or is it because of her? Someone needs to teach them that life isn't all sweet. If you want to teach them otherwise, well, try to imagine what happens in the future....