Programming Jokes

[ChaosOrb]

A student caught cheating on a midterm exam. As a punishment, the teacher decided to teach discipline and made the student write "I will not cheat during exams again!" for 1,000 time on the board.

The student wrote:

#include <stdio.h>
#include <conio.h>

void main(){
int x;

clrscr();
        for(x=1; x<=1000; x++){
                printf("I will not cheat during exams again!");
        }
}

[nirdle_phogi]

Quote: Originally Posted by ChaosOrb A student caught cheating on a midterm exam. As a punishment, the teacher decided to teach discipline and made the student write "I will not cheat during exams again!" for 1,000 time on the board. The student wrote: #include <stdio.h> #include <conio.h> void main(){ int x; clrscr(); for(x=1; x<=1000; x++){ printf("I will not cheat during exams again!"); } }

hahaha. epic..

[kinumot]

Quote: Originally Posted by ChaosOrb A student caught cheating on a midterm exam. As a punishment, the teacher decided to teach discipline and made the student write "I will not cheat during exams again!" for 1,000 time on the board. The student wrote: #include <stdio.h> #include <conio.h> void main(){ int x; clrscr(); for(x=1; x<=1000; x++){ printf("I will not cheat during exams again!"); } }

diara ay.... hehehehhe

[Deathnote]

Quote: Originally Posted by kinumot diara ay.... hehehehhe

hahaha nice one

[psyd_1]

Dictionary defines:

Endless Loop: n., see `Loop, Endless`.
Loop, Endless: n., see `Endless Loop`.

[san_cristobal]

A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”
The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”
The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”
The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”
At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

[intheb0x]

hehehe...nalingaw ko ani da..

Quote: Originally Posted by san_cristobal A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.” The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.” The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.” The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.” At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

[n00dle$]

An area code for phone numbers in Atlanta is 404.

"Man: I keep trying to find a phone number in Atlanta, but all the websites keep returning "Not Found" errors."

which is also a response code from webservers that means "not found."

[n00dle$]

[nullpointer]

A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question:

"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"

Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?"

The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash."

[doomsweek]

Quote: Originally Posted by psyd_1 Dictionary defines: Endless Loop: n., see `Loop, Endless`. Loop, Endless: n., see `Endless Loop`.

[hogopo]

Quote: Originally Posted by san_cristobal Another na sad... How many programers does it take to change a light bulb? None – It’s a hardware problem

hahaha good one

[jebz]

Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

[acegear]

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

Programming is like ***:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

A programmer finds himself in front of a committee that decides whether he should go to Heaven or Hell. The committee tells the programmer he has a say in the matter and asks him if he wants to see either Heaven or Hell before stating his preference.

“Sure,” the programmer replies. “I have a pretty good idea what Heaven is like, so let’s see Hell.” So an angel takes the programmer to a sunny beach, full of beautiful women in skimpy bikinis playing volleyball, listening to music and having a great time. “Wow!” he exclaims, “Hell looks great! I’ll take Hell!”

Instantly the programmer finds himself in red-hot lava with demons tearing at his flesh. “Where’s the beach? The music? The women?” he screams frantically to the angel.

“That was the demo,” the angel replies as she vanishes.

[san_cristobal]

“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”