I need to understand

[yvonne6]

guys, i need your opinion on this particular situation. i have a bf for almost 5 years now. we have a 3 year old baby boy. i was previously married and have kids from that failed marriage. my bf knew about this and so his family. he is yonger than i am. when we started, my finances was okay. we were okay. problems started when i got pregnant by accident. he tried to back off from his obligation. i didnt insist at that point. i was financially responsible for the kid alone. he ignored me and the baby inside my womb. he was embarrassed to be with me. when i just gave birth, i learned he cheated on me with a bitch who was sleeping with a lot of guys. i forgave him because our baby was newly born and i wanted him to grow up with a dad. he is very immature and irresponsible. i am always there for him through thick and thin, loving him giving him all the best i can helping him to be his best. he dropped from school because of his addiction for online games. his parents lost their trust in him and i was the only one left believing he can do better. i supported him until we ended up working in the same company. everything went well and we were happy. one day, he suddenly stopped working without prior notice, didnt even resign from work. i didnt know why. then he started hanging out with people i dont know and no longer going home. most of the time, he will come home when its day time already. i cant confront him because he would yell and throw insults on me. i know this is not a manifestation of someone who still respects me. love is no longer a question, i think he has lost it. he would like us to share the kid but he cant treat me nicely. i dont want to rob the kid the chance to grow up knowing his dad but i am scared what values this man would teach my son. is it fair not to let that guy see our baby again? its been five long years, i dont think i have not given him enough chances to change. do you think he is seeing another woman? guys, tanaw ninyo, asshole ra kaau siya? id like to understand what happened along the way. is it really hard to be nice to someone who has given you so much love, infact is the mother of your child?? please give your opinion. thanks

[mishyl]

i don't want to sound close minded but if that's what he showed n the relationship, better let him go.. let him feel alone so he could realize his needs to have a family... give him enough time and space to miss u and the kid as well.. don't be too humble enough sa n u relationship.. pakita pud sa imu pride para naa puid xa kailangan ifight, i mean, para naa pud bitaw challenge sa iya part? basing sa imu story, la naman xa nakapakita og nindut so better let him go and wait if he'll come back to be a better man...ok? just pray for him and for ur future family specially for ur baby..

[francoise07]

mb he cnt seE ur w0rth..he w0nt realize it when ur stl livng n 1 one roOf..i myself pers0naly fel dt sumtyms, maAbot ang kapu0l s at0ng knbuhi..h0w u treatd him 4 5yrs s enaf for him 2 fEl u loved n cAreD..i thnk hvng a bb frm a previous relati0nshp s nt an xcuse 2 act dt way, he kn0ws it b4hand..mb its tym 4 hm 2 fel a lesS0n, jz try..d0 sumthng..

[bbnescia]

mas maayo ana sis,ayaw na lang jd na siya pakit-a sa inyo bb, since wa syay work and i think ang iyang pagka immature ug pagka iresponsible niya is enaf para d na nimo ihatag or ipakita ang imohang bb sa iyaha.sus maunsa pa lang na inyohang anak kung naa nas iyaha.and i don't think mausab pa na siya ingon ana na jd na iyang kinaiya forever, kay kung mag usab pa siya saona ra unta,kung napul-an na siya sa inyo sitwasyon...mas labaw pa cguro kang napul-an.kahinumdom kos sulti sa akong lola saona,ingon siya " kung magminyo gani kuno mi be sure daw nga d mi magkwentas ug bukog " kahibalo naman cguro ka anang mean sis.

[seven_segment]

sis have you tried talking heart to heart? i mean opening up everything...

kanang kalmado na sturya? i think nakalimot na siya sa iyang responsibility...

let him remind of everything...

[j.alob]

Quote: Originally Posted by seven_segment sis have you tried talking heart to heart? i mean opening up everything... kanang kalmado na sturya? i think nakalimot na siya sa iyang responsibility... let him remind of everything...

addicted to online games... so immature...if wala na kay time sa imong family or even sa imong self..thumbsdown

[deia]

nah.... irresponsible nga father .... hmmmmmmph... youre doing ur kid a favor if you do whats best for YOURSELF and ur kid... your bf is already an adult... let him deal with his own problems.. sakit pud siguro sa imong part to let go or something... pero wala lang... sagdahi siya or better yet pag separate lives nlng moh.. para ang imong problemahun imong anak/s nlng..i dumped the father of my baby pud gni when he cant even sort his life out... kay anak mai priority jud cguro... for me lng.. if he cant treat you right, why bother? dili naka niya mamahay if youve shown him everything naman...ana lng.. opinion na nko

[keeper_of _the_key]

luuya sad nimo ui...di na jud na siya mauttro sis..kaya man kaha nimo mapakaon imo baby ikaw ra?
wa man kaha sya buhat.bad influence jud na imo bata..mai pag palayo mo..

[Soul Doctor]

Quote: Originally Posted by yvonne6 guys, i need your opinion on this particular situation. i have a bf for almost 5 years now. we have a 3 year old baby boy. i was previously married and have kids from that failed marriage. my bf knew about this and so his family. he is yonger than i am. when we started, my finances was okay. we were okay. problems started when i got pregnant by accident. he tried to back off from his obligation. i didnt insist at that point. i was financially responsible for the kid alone. he ignored me and the baby inside my womb. he was embarrassed to be with me. when i just gave birth, i learned he cheated on me with a bitch who was sleeping with a lot of guys. i forgave him because our baby was newly born and i wanted him to grow up with a dad. he is very immature and irresponsible. i am always there for him through thick and thin, loving him giving him all the best i can helping him to be his best. he dropped from school because of his addiction for online games. his parents lost their trust in him and i was the only one left believing he can do better. i supported him until we ended up working in the same company. everything went well and we were happy. one day, he suddenly stopped working without prior notice, didnt even resign from work. i didnt know why. then he started hanging out with people i dont know and no longer going home. most of the time, he will come home when its day time already. i cant confront him because he would yell and throw insults on me. i know this is not a manifestation of someone who still respects me. love is no longer a question, i think he has lost it. he would like us to share the kid but he cant treat me nicely. i dont want to rob the kid the chance to grow up knowing his dad but i am scared what values this man would teach my son. is it fair not to let that guy see our baby again? its been five long years, i dont think i have not given him enough chances to change. do you think he is seeing another woman? guys, tanaw ninyo, asshole ra kaau siya? id like to understand what happened along the way. is it really hard to be nice to someone who has given you so much love, infact is the mother of your child?? please give your opinion. thanks

This is common thing for women on irresponsible boys.
They always hope that that boy will change
and her love will bring out the best of him.

The reality is--in a relationship--- boys always grew worse.
If he smokes, he will become a chain smoker.

If he gambles, he becomes addicted to it
to a point that he will steal just to have money for gambling.

If he drinks, he will become an alcoholic as he grows old.

If he womanize, he will do it more and more.

If he plays online games,
he will be addicted to it more
to a point that nothing in his life is more important
than playing online games with friends.

He is a hopeless case.
You will wish you never knew him at all.

[keeper_of _the_key]

this is nice one.

[xxSTARLIGHT]

common na kaau na sa katiLingban imong husband. dghan kau nagkatag ana niLa.
ikaw sis, do you think you'll be happy staying with him for the next long years of your life?

[chad_tukes]

wow this is kinda messed up.

reminds me of Jerry Springer.

[yvonne6]

thanks kaau sa tanan ni reply diri. di man siguro siya maka ingon nga ma pride kaau ko or wala ko mohatag enough chance niya to be better. infact, na annoy naman gani siya sa akong pag sige ug tambag niya nga sa panahon karon, only very few people values family a lot and that our son would bear the consequences of a broken family. para niya, k ra kaau nga messed up ang family, modaku raman daw ang bata. wala man gud siya mahibalo kay dili man siya gikan sa broken family. but just like most of u, i feel this is just more than enough

[francoise07]

Quote: Originally Posted by Soul Doctor This is common thing for women on irresponsible boys. They always hope that that boy will change and her love will bring out the best of him. The reality is--in a relationship--- boys always grew worse. If he smokes, he will become a chain smoker. If he gambles, he becomes addicted to it to a point that he will steal just to have money for gambling. If he drinks, he will become an alcoholic as he grows old. If he womanize, he will do it more and more. If he plays online games, he will be addicted to it more to a point that nothing in his life is more important than playing online games with friends. He is a hopeless case. You will wish you never knew him at all.

fyi: ds oNly applies oN irresp0nsble boys..u cn sm0ke, gamble, drnk, w0manze nd do evrythng, as l0ng as ul nver f0rget wts ur duties nd resp0nsbilities w ur family..its ok 2 do ds thngs n m0derati0n, 2much of evrythng wl f**k up ur life..

[keeper_of _the_key]

yeah there people out there can manage their hobbies,family,vice,etc..
you don't need to stop thing what makes you happy as long as you know the limit and priority.
in your case it seems that it not good and not balance.you will be
in unhealthy lifestyle move out.