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		<title>iSTORYA.NET - Humor</title>
		<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums</link>
		<description>:: we all need some good dose of humor ::</description>
		<language>en</language>
		<lastBuildDate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:30:02 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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		<ttl>60</ttl>
		<image>
			<url>http://www.istorya.net/forums/images/zistorya/misc/rss.jpg</url>
			<title>iSTORYA.NET - Humor</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums</link>
		</image>
		<item>
			<title>Pacman song to floyd jr.</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243476-pacman-song-to-floyd-jr-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:11:10 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>They asked you if you’ll fight me

And you choked on your reply

I’d rather Arum deal with you

Than mislead you with a lie

And who am I to judge you,

On what you say or do

The fans are now beginning

To see the real you..

And someday when we tats

My LEFT will be too much

That you have to close your eyes

Where do you hide?

I wanna pound you til you’re white

‘Til your face breaks down and cry

I wanna beat you

‘Til you dream and say, goodnight.

You think you are a strategist

That you can insult my pride

But through your insecurities

You’re ZERO loss seemed right

You’re just another fighter

So far from what is true

An overrated boxer

Who never gives his due

And someday when we tats

My RIGHT will be too much

That you have to close your eyes

Where do you hide?

I wanna pound you til you’re white

‘Til your face breaks down and cry

I wanna beat you

‘Til you dream and say, goodnight.

At times I’d like to break you

And drive you to your knees

The fans would like to watch you

And see your first defeat

Your huggers understand you

And we know how hard they try

I’ve watched your Dad protect you

And your Uncle loves to smile :biglaugh:

My coach thinks your a loser

Still searching for a break

You think your odds are better

But then the public bets AGAINST!

And someday when we tats

My SPEED will be too much

That you have to close your eyes

Where can you hide?

I wanna pound you til you’re white

‘Til your face breaks down and cry

I wanna beat you

‘Til you dream and say, goodnig</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>They asked you if you’ll fight me<br />
<br />
And you choked on your reply<br />
<br />
I’d rather Arum deal with you<br />
<br />
Than mislead you with a lie<br />
<br />
And who am I to judge you,<br />
<br />
On what you say or do<br />
<br />
The fans are now beginning<br />
<br />
To see the real you..<br />
<br />
And someday when we tats<br />
<br />
My LEFT will be too much<br />
<br />
That you have to close your eyes<br />
<br />
Where do you hide?<br />
<br />
I wanna pound you til you’re white<br />
<br />
‘Til your face breaks down and cry<br />
<br />
I wanna beat you<br />
<br />
‘Til you dream and say, goodnight.<br />
<br />
You think you are a strategist<br />
<br />
That you can insult my pride<br />
<br />
But through your insecurities<br />
<br />
You’re ZERO loss seemed right<br />
<br />
You’re just another fighter<br />
<br />
So far from what is true<br />
<br />
An overrated boxer<br />
<br />
Who never gives his due<br />
<br />
And someday when we tats<br />
<br />
My RIGHT will be too much<br />
<br />
That you have to close your eyes<br />
<br />
Where do you hide?<br />
<br />
I wanna pound you til you’re white<br />
<br />
‘Til your face breaks down and cry<br />
<br />
I wanna beat you<br />
<br />
‘Til you dream and say, goodnight.<br />
<br />
At times I’d like to break you<br />
<br />
And drive you to your knees<br />
<br />
The fans would like to watch you<br />
<br />
And see your first defeat<br />
<br />
Your huggers understand you<br />
<br />
And we know how hard they try<br />
<br />
I’ve watched your Dad protect you<br />
<br />
And your Uncle loves to smile :biglaugh:<br />
<br />
My coach thinks your a loser<br />
<br />
Still searching for a break<br />
<br />
You think your odds are better<br />
<br />
But then the public bets AGAINST!<br />
<br />
And someday when we tats<br />
<br />
My SPEED will be too much<br />
<br />
That you have to close your eyes<br />
<br />
Where can you hide?<br />
<br />
I wanna pound you til you’re white<br />
<br />
‘Til your face breaks down and cry<br />
<br />
I wanna beat you<br />
<br />
‘Til you dream and say, goodnig</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>cebugdev</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243476-pacman-song-to-floyd-jr.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Spoon Agony! hahaha</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243450-spoon-agony-hahaha-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:53:46 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>YouTube - HD PREMIERE! The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon by Richard Gale (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y)

watch this. one of the best vids kit.an nako sa youtube.. hahaha</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y" target="_blank">YouTube - HD PREMIERE! The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon by Richard Gale</a><br />
<br />
watch this. one of the best vids kit.an nako sa youtube.. hahaha</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>FreezedEntity</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243450-spoon-agony-hahaha.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>nEW sET oF jOkEs ^_^</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243424-new-set-of-jokes-_-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:41:28 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Not sure if na post na ba neh.. haven't read as I just copy paste this one from my e-mail



Sa  Math Class...
Teacher: Banong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karne at hinati ko Ito, ilang piraso na?
Banong: 2 Po mam!
Teacher: At kung hnati ko pa pareho? 
Banong: 4 na piraso Po !
Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.
Banong: 8 piraso Po .
Teacher: Hinati ko pa.
Banong: 16 Po mam.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa?
Banong: 32 piraso na Po!
Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?
Banong: 64 Po ! (nakangiti) 
Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?
Banong: Ay susmaryosep mam! GINILING napo! GINILING!!!
 SA BAKERY? Pulubi: Palimos Po ng cake.
Ale: Aba , sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto MO pang cake.. Eto pandesal! 
Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!?

ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!.
TATAY: ano ung danktrak? 
ANAK: Yunn pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?
TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un...TEN MILLER!!! 

Honeymoon:
BRIDE: Kinakabahan ako. Baka di ko makaya.. Parang natatakot ako.
GROOM- Kaya  MO Ito. Diba dati may alaga kang ahas? 
BRIDE- Oo nga, pero  takot talaga ako sa UOD!!

BOY: Wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyo! Lahat ng ginagawa ko puro Mali ! Lagi nalang ako Mali !!! Di 'nyo na ako Mahal! 
AMA: Nagkakamali ka anak?
BOY: Shet! Mali na naman ako!!! 

Nanay: Ang lakas MO kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal MO!
Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin mlakas kumain, natutuwa ka. Sino b talaga ang anak MO, ako o ung baboy? Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun! 

Magsyota naglalakad sa park: 
GF: Hon, ihi muna ako
BF: Dyan ka nalang sa damuhan...
Habang umiihi, kinapkap in BF ang legs in GF nang may mahawakan syang mahaba sa gitna nito... 
BF: Anak ng?! Bading ka ba o nagpalit na ng kasarian?? 
GF: Sira! Nagpalit lang ako ng desisyon? Tumatae na ako?

BF : May ibibigay akong gift sayo, pero hulaan MO muna!
GF: Sige, clue naman...
BF: Kailangan Ito ng leeg MO.
GF: Kwintas?
BF: Hindi... PANGHILOD! SMILE!!! 

(Sa loob ng Mall)
GUY: LOVE, yan ang dati Kong girlfriend.
Jowa: Ang pangit pangit naman!
GUY: Wala akong magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness  ko ever since...


NARS: doc, bat  tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente? 
DR: alin, yung bakla?
NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porket bading siya. 
DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?

=========
Things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:
-San yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to? 
-10ml? May nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang! 
-doc, ubos na Po pala yung anesthesia.
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!
=========
Inspiring quote of the day: 
"Hindi ako tamad. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan ko ibubuhos kasipagan ko." 

=========
'dear te, dear te, dear te!!!'
-sigaw in Anabel Rama Kay Lorin at Veniz (mga anak ni Rofa) habang naglalaro ng tubig sa kanal. 
=========
MRS: Hon, am I pretty or ugly?
MR: uhm.. Both.. 
MRS: anong both? Pwedeng pretty and ugly?
MR: ang ibig ko sabihin, you're pretty  ugly.
=========
TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science? 
PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am! 
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science? PEDRO: science is our lesson for today. 
=========
AMO: inday, paalisin MO nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas in Inday) 
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks! 
(nakakuha na ng katapat is Inday!) 
NOSEBLEED!!! .hehehe

==========
TRIVIA: do you know how they make rubber gloves in China  ?
Workers  dip their hands into melted latex, then air-dry them. 
Now guess how they make condoms?

=========== 
In a miss gay pageant:
HOST: how can we uplift our economy today even though we are under economic crisis?
BAKLA: (namutla) mga bakla! Akala ko ba miss gay Ito? Quizbee pala! 
===========
Sexy girl nagkukumpisal: 
PARI: iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal?
SEXY: father, pag nakakarinig Po ako ng lalaking nagmumura di ko mapigilan sarili ko na yayain siya magsex!
PARI: 'tang ina! Di nga? 

===========
The Philippine presidents flying in a plane. 
GMA: what if I  throw a check for a  million pesos out the window to make at least 1 Filipino happy?
CORY: but my dear, why don't you throw 2 checks for half a million each and thus make 2 Filipinos happy? 
RAMOS: why not throw four checks for a quarter of a million each and make four Filipinos happy? 
And on it went until finally, Erap blurts out:
"but madam president, why not simply throw yourself out of the window and make all the Filipinos happy?" 
============
a great example of globalization: princess Diana, a Welsh princess with an Egyptian fiancï¿½, crashed in a French tunnel while riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, chased by Italian paparazzis on Japanese big bikes. An American doctor tried to save them using Brazilian meds. This message was made by a Filipino on a Finnish Nokia phone smuggled from China by a Pakistani based in Quiapo. 
============
1. Trulalu.
2.  eklavu
3. eklavu.
4. trulalu
5. eklavu
6. trulalu
7. trulalu.
8. eklavu
9. trulalu
10. trulalu
-batang bading nagsasagot ng true or false na quiz.
============ = 
MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan? 
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!
============ =
kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM! 

GMA: hallow gracia!
GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva ek ek.
GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na  ba?
GARCI:  flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na! 
GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!
GARCI: anufi ate.
GMA: oshah ba.
============
Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya. 
Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.
Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya! 
============ BOY: dad, tulong naman sa assignment ko. Find the least common denominator daw.
DAD: ha? aba'y elementary pa lang ako eh hinahanap na nila yan ah! Aba'y di pa ba nila nakikita? 
============
Anong sabi ng centipede nung may nakasalubong siyang isang centipede?
"uy pare. Apir!apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!.... ...... 
============
eto ang banat na malupet.
GUY: miss, pinaglihi ka ba sa inidoro?
GIRL: bakit?
GUY: kasi ako pinaglihi sa tae.  Nung nakita kita, di ko mapigilang  mahulog!
============


BOY1: nkakakawa naman lola mo. 
BOY2: bakit?
BOY1: nakasabay ko kasi magsimba nung isang araw, ubo ng ubo. Pinagtitinginan nga ng tao.
BOY2: papansin lang yun!
BOY1: bakit?
BOY2: bago kasi blouse niya! 
============
a boss confused about his Math asked his secretary: 
If I give you P3M less 17%, how much would you take off?
SECRETARY: everything sir! Dress, bra, panty!
============
TEACHER: mga bata, alam niyo ba na ang bawat butil ng palay ay galing sa dugo't pawis ng mga magsasaka? 
MGA BATA: eeewwww!
============

magsyota sa motel. 
BF: alam mo love, ikaw ang first girl na dinala ko dito.
GF: sinungaling. Sabi nila lagi ka dito!
BF: oo, pero ikaw lang talaga ang girl!
============ 
STUDENT: ma'am, pagagalitan niyo po ba ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa? 
TEACHER: natural hindi.
STUDENT: good, di ko po ginawa assignment ko!
============
PARI: halika sa sulok
MADRE: bakit po? 
PARI: sara mo pinto.
MADRE: wag po!
PARI: patayin mo ilaw!
MADRE: diyos ko po! 
PARI: tamo rosary ko. Glow in the dark!

============
isang araw sa may  tindahan.
PULUBI: palimos po.
TINDERO: wala po, patawad. 
PULUBI: sige na po, kahit magkano.
TINDERO: sya sige! Eto, dos.
PULUBI: salamat po ng marami. Isang Malboro nga po, yung menthol.
============
TITSER: bat ka na-late?
EDWARD: nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki. 
TITSER: tinulungan mo siyang maghanap?
EDWARD: hindi po, tinapakan ko lang hanggang umalis siya. 

============ sabi nung friend ko, nakakalaki daw ng tiyan ang beer. Kasi noon minsan nalasing siya, nabuntis siya!
============
a thirsty city girl went to a barrio 
GIRL: where galling your water manong?
MATANDA: sa ilog ineng. 
GIRL: ha? You drink that water manong?
MATANDA: duhhh! Why, sa syudad ba chine-chew?
============ =
DEATH of MR.BEAN'S MOTHER
Mr Bean: (crying) the doctor just called up, my mom's dead. 
Friend: condolence, my friend. 
(after 2 minutes, Mr. Bean cries even louder.)
Friend: what now, Mr. Bean? 
Mr Bean: my sister just called. Her mom died too.
============ =
NOEL: ipapangalan ko sa aking anak " LEON " baliktad ng Noel. 
NINO: sa akin ONIN baliktad ng NINO.
TOTO: wag niyo akong maisali-sali dyan sa usapan niyo!
============ =
Sinoli ni Erap ang libro sa  library.
ERAP: sobrang dami ng characters wala naman storya.
LIBRARIAN: kayo  pala kumuha ng telephone directory namin! 
============ =
JAIME ZOBEL DE AYALA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Spanish.
HENRY SY: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Chinese.
LITO ATIENZA: 1/2 Hawaiian, 1/2 Polo.
MIKE ARROYO: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 pork.
JOHN OSMENA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pinay.
PROSPERO PICHAY: 1/2 Unggoy, 1/2 gulay.
GMA: 1/2 ... only.
============ ==
MR: hon promise simula ngayon, iiwan ko na ang mga kabit ko.
MRS: wow. Thank you love. Ako naman, I promise, ang susunod nating anak, ikaw na ang ama. Promise talaga. 
============ ==

SA OSPITAL.....
WIFE: hon, nahirapan ako huminga.
HUSBAND: kung nahirapan ka ng huminga, itigil mo na.
============ ==
ATE: pabili ng pilis.
TINDERA: ano po?
A: pilis po!
T: ha? Dilis? 
A: pilis po. 
T: ano? Philip?
A: pilis nga! Yung nudols.
============ ==
sa sabungan, walang entrance fee ang may dalang panabong. Si Juan para makalibre pumasok may dalang  inahin.
BANTAY: [sinita si Juan] ano yan? 
JUAN: [galit pa!] manok! 
BANTAY: alam ko, eh bakit inahin?
JUAN: may laban ang mister niya, siyempre moral support bobo!

============ ==
GF: magaling! At sino tong baby na nagtext sayo?
BF: ah eh kumpare ko yun! Lalake yun! Baby lang palayaw. 
GF: oh eto replyan mo. Hindi daw kayo tuloy at may mens daw ang tarantado!
============ ==
INA: anak, tawagan mo nga tatay mo sa celfon. Pauwiin mo dito.
[pagkatapos tawagan.]
ANAK: nay, babae po ang sumagot. 
INA: lintik, sinasabi ko na nga ba, may tinatago yang tatay mo eh! Anong  sabi?
ANAK:  'you only have zero pesos in your account...' hindi ko na tinapos nay mukhang matapobre. 
============ == 
nagbubungkal ng lupa si Erap para magtanim. Akala ng nakakita niloloko lang siya dahil wala naman siyang tinatanim. 
BANTAY: sir, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah.
ERAP: bobo! Seedless to!
============ ==
ANAK: nay, ano po ba yung 10 commandments? 
NANAY: yun yung sampung utos ng Diyos. 
ANAK: mas makapangyarihan pa po pala kayo sa Diyos eh!
NANAY: bakit?
ANAK: ang dami niyong utos eh!

============ ==
HISTORY 101:
JUDAS: anong gimik yang hinuhugasan ni Magda ang  paa ni  Bossing? 
PETER: wag kang makialam, darating ang araw at tatawagin yang FOOT SPA. 
============ ==
PEDRO: niloko ko yung tindera kanina.
JUAN: paano mo naman niloko yung tindera?
PEDRO: nagpaload ako eh wala naman akong celfon. 
============ ==
paramihan ng anak.
HAPONESA: pumasok, bitbit 10 anak. 
(palakpakan)
AMERIKANA: pumasok, bitbit 20 anak.
(palakpakan)
PINAY: pumasok, sigawan ang audience! "GO NAY!!"
============ === 
may nakakita sakin sa dalampasigan. malungkot at nagiisa. sabi niya, 'kung mahal mo siya, bakit di mo ipadama?' sumagot ako, 'mahal ka diyan?!!! naiwan ako  sa outing tanga.'
============ ===
kung totoo ang ' Darwin 's theory of evolution' na ang tao ay nagmula sa unggoy, bakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo? 
============ ===
DORAY: mare, kulang pa kami ng isang miyembro. baka gusto mong sumali sa paluwagan. 
PINANG : hindi pa ako pwede, mare.
DORAY: bakit mare?
PINAY: virgin pa kasi ako.
============ ====
ERAP SA PIZZA HUT
WAITER: sir, do you want me to cut your pizza into 4 slices or 8 slices?
ERAP: into four na lang, masyadong marami yung eight. di ko mauubos. 


AMO: inday, kunin mo nga yung VOGUE magazine! 
INDAY: mam, vogyu hindi vog.
AMO: inday, vog ang tamang pagbigkas.
INDAY: o sige na nga mam VOG na, there's no need to ARG.
============ ===
pano sasabihin sa isang girl na maitim ang kili-kili niya without hurting his feelings? 
"ganda ng deodorant mo ha, kiwi?"
============ ===
Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa  Museum, yung attendant nataranta.
ATTENDANT: naku sir, more than 500 years old na po yang vase.
ERAP: hay salamat. Akala ko bago! 
============ ===
Overheard from a girl na galit sa kararating na boyfriend sa starbucks: GIRL: my God, you're so late. Where did you . . . where have you. . . where do you. . . san ka ba galing? 
============ ===
ang tawag sa gumagawa ng tubo, tubero. Ang tawag sa kumukuha ng basura, basurero. Ang tawag sa mahilig sa gimik, gimikero. Sa maraming babae, babaero. Ang tawag sa nakaupo sa kanto.?

Tambay pare,  tambay!









]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><font face="Arial"><font face="arial"><font face="arial"><font face="times new roman"><font face="times new roman"><font face="times new roman"><font face="times new roman"><font face="Arial"><font color="blue"><font color="blue"><font face="Arial">Not sure if na post na ba neh.. haven't read as I just copy paste this one from my e-mail<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Sa </font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma"> Math Class...<br />
Teacher: Banong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karne at hinati ko Ito, ilang piraso na?<br />
Banong: 2 Po mam!<br />
Teacher: At kung hnati ko pa pareho? <br />
Banong: 4 na piraso Po !<br />
Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.<br />
Banong: 8 piraso Po .<br />
Teacher: Hinati ko pa.<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Banong: 16 Po mam.<br />
Teacher: Hinati ko pa?<br />
Banong: 32 piraso na Po!<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?<br />
Banong: 64 Po ! (nakangiti) <br />
Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?<br />
Banong: Ay susmaryosep mam! GINILING napo! GINILING!!!</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font face="Tahoma"> <br />
</font></font><br />
 <font face="Times New Roman"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><br />
</font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">SA BAKERY? </font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font face="Tahoma"><br />
</font></font><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><br />
</font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Pulubi: Palimos Po ng cake.<br />
Ale: Aba , sosyal ka ah! </font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Namalimos ka lang, gusto MO pang cake.. Eto pandesal! <br />
Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!?<br />
<br />
ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!.<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">TATAY: ano ung danktrak? <br />
ANAK: Yunn pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un...TEN MILLER!!! <br />
<br />
Honeymoon:<br />
BRIDE: Kinakabahan ako. </font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Baka di ko makaya.. Parang natatakot ako.<br />
GROOM- Kaya  MO Ito. Diba dati may alaga kang ahas? <br />
BRIDE- Oo nga, pero  takot talaga ako sa UOD!!<br />
<br />
BOY: Wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyo! Lahat ng ginagawa ko puro Mali ! Lagi nalang ako Mali !!! Di 'nyo na ako Mahal! <br />
AMA: Nagkakamali ka anak?<br />
BOY: Shet! Mali na naman ako!!! <br />
<br />
Nanay: Ang lakas MO kumain pero di ka mautusan. </font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Ang kapal MO!<br />
Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin mlakas kumain, natutuwa ka. </font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Sino b talaga ang anak MO, ako o ung baboy? Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun! <br />
<br />
Magsyota naglalakad sa park: <br />
GF: Hon, ihi muna ako<br />
BF: Dyan ka nalang sa damuhan...<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Habang umiihi, kinapkap in BF ang legs in GF nang may mahawakan syang mahaba sa gitna nito... <br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">BF: Anak ng?! Bading ka ba o nagpalit na ng kasarian?? <br />
GF: Sira! Nagpalit lang ako ng desisyon? Tumatae na ako?<br />
<br />
BF : May ibibigay akong gift sayo, pero hulaan MO muna!<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">GF: Sige, clue naman...<br />
BF: Kailangan Ito ng leeg MO.<br />
GF: Kwintas?<br />
BF: Hindi... PANGHILOD! SMILE!!! <br />
<br />
(Sa loob ng Mall)<br />
GUY: LOVE, yan ang dati Kong girlfriend.<br />
Jowa: Ang pangit pangit naman!<br />
GUY: Wala akong magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness  ko ever since...<br />
<br />
<br />
NARS: doc, bat  tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente? <br />
DR: alin, yung bakla?<br />
NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porket bading siya. <br />
DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?<br />
<br />
=========<br />
Things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:<br />
-San yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to? <br />
-10ml? May nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang! <br />
-doc, ubos na Po pala yung anesthesia.<br />
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?<br />
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!<br />
=========<br />
Inspiring quote of the day: <br />
&quot;Hindi ako tamad. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan ko ibubuhos kasipagan ko.&quot; <br />
<br />
=========<br />
'dear te, dear te, dear te!!!'<br />
-sigaw in Anabel Rama Kay Lorin at Veniz (mga anak ni Rofa) habang naglalaro ng tubig sa kanal. <br />
=========<br />
MRS: Hon, am I pretty or ugly?<br />
MR: uhm.. Both.. <br />
MRS: anong both? Pwedeng pretty and ugly?<br />
MR: ang ibig ko sabihin, you're pretty  ugly.<br />
=========<br />
TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science? <br />
PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am! <br />
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science? </font></font></font></font><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><br />
</font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">PEDRO: science is our lesson for today. <br />
=========<br />
AMO: inday, paalisin MO nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.<br />
(nilabas in Inday) <br />
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!<br />
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks! <br />
(nakakuha na ng katapat is Inday!) <br />
NOSEBLEED!!! .hehehe<br />
<br />
==========<br />
TRIVIA: do you know how they make rubber gloves in China  ?<br />
Workers  dip their hands into melted latex, then air-dry them. <br />
Now guess how they make condoms?<br />
<br />
=========== <br />
In a miss gay pageant:<br />
HOST: how can we uplift our economy today even though we are under economic crisis?<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">BAKLA: (namutla) mga bakla! Akala ko ba miss gay Ito? Quizbee pala! <br />
===========<br />
Sexy girl nagkukumpisal: <br />
PARI: iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal?<br />
SEXY: father, pag nakakarinig Po ako ng lalaking nagmumura di ko mapigilan sarili ko na yayain siya magsex!<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">PARI: 'tang ina! Di nga? <br />
<br />
===========<br />
The Philippine presidents flying in a plane. <br />
GMA: what if I  throw a check for a  million pesos out the window to make at least 1 Filipino happy?<br />
CORY: but my dear, why don't you throw 2 checks for half a million each and thus make 2 Filipinos happy? <br />
RAMOS: why not throw four checks for a quarter of a million each and make four Filipinos happy? <br />
And on it went until finally, Erap blurts out:<br />
&quot;but madam president, why not simply throw yourself out of the window and make all the Filipinos happy?&quot; <br />
============<br />
a great example of globalization: princess Diana, a Welsh princess with an Egyptian fiancï¿½, crashed in a French tunnel while riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, chased by Italian paparazzis on Japanese big bikes. An American doctor tried to save them using Brazilian meds. This message was made by a Filipino on a Finnish Nokia phone smuggled from China by a Pakistani based in Quiapo. <br />
============<br />
1. Trulalu.<br />
2.  eklavu<br />
3. eklavu.<br />
4. trulalu<br />
5. eklavu<br />
6. trulalu<br />
7. trulalu.<br />
8. eklavu<br />
9. trulalu<br />
10. trulalu<br />
-batang bading nagsasagot ng true or false na quiz.<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">============ = <br />
MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.<br />
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan? <br />
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!<br />
============ =<br />
kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM! <br />
<br />
GMA: hallow gracia!<br />
GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva ek ek.<br />
GMA: bonggacious! </font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na  ba?<br />
GARCI:  flatshoes! </font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na! <br />
GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!<br />
GARCI: anufi ate.<br />
GMA: oshah ba.<br />
============<br />
Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya. <br />
Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.<br />
Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! </font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya! <br />
============ </font></font></font></font><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><br />
</font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">BOY: dad, tulong naman sa assignment ko. Find the least common denominator daw.<br />
DAD: ha? aba'y elementary pa lang ako eh hinahanap na nila yan ah! Aba'y di pa ba nila nakikita? <br />
============<br />
Anong sabi ng centipede nung may nakasalubong siyang isang centipede?<br />
&quot;uy pare. Apir!apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!.... ...... <br />
============<br />
eto ang banat na malupet.<br />
GUY: miss, pinaglihi ka ba sa inidoro?<br />
GIRL: bakit?<br />
GUY: kasi ako pinaglihi sa tae.  Nung nakita kita, di ko mapigilang  mahulog!<br />
============<br />
<br />
<br />
BOY1: nkakakawa naman lola mo. <br />
BOY2: bakit?<br />
BOY1: nakasabay ko kasi magsimba nung isang araw, ubo ng ubo. Pinagtitinginan nga ng tao.<br />
BOY2: papansin lang yun!<br />
BOY1: bakit?<br />
BOY2: bago kasi blouse niya! <br />
============<br />
a boss confused about his Math asked his secretary: <br />
If I give you P3M less 17%, how much would you take off?<br />
SECRETARY: everything sir! Dress, bra, panty!<br />
============<br />
TEACHER: mga bata, alam niyo ba na ang bawat butil ng palay ay galing sa dugo't pawis ng mga magsasaka? <br />
MGA BATA: eeewwww!<br />
============<br />
<br />
magsyota sa motel. <br />
BF: alam mo love, ikaw ang first girl na dinala ko dito.<br />
GF: sinungaling. Sabi nila lagi ka dito!<br />
BF: oo, pero ikaw lang talaga ang girl!<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">============ <br />
STUDENT: ma'am, pagagalitan niyo po ba ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa? <br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">TEACHER: natural hindi.<br />
STUDENT: good, di ko po ginawa assignment ko!<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">============<br />
PARI: halika sa sulok<br />
MADRE: bakit po? <br />
PARI: sara mo pinto.<br />
MADRE: wag po!<br />
PARI: patayin mo ilaw!<br />
MADRE: diyos ko po! <br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">PARI: tamo rosary ko. Glow in the dark!<br />
<br />
============<br />
isang araw sa may  tindahan.<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">PULUBI: palimos po.<br />
TINDERO: wala po, patawad. <br />
PULUBI: sige na po, kahit magkano.<br />
TINDERO: sya sige! Eto, dos.<br />
PULUBI: salamat po ng marami. </font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Isang Malboro nga po, yung menthol.<br />
============<br />
TITSER: bat ka na-late?<br />
EDWARD: nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki. <br />
TITSER: tinulungan mo siyang maghanap?<br />
EDWARD: hindi po, tinapakan ko lang hanggang umalis siya. <br />
<br />
============ </font></font></font></font><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><br />
</font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">sabi nung friend ko, nakakalaki daw ng tiyan ang beer. Kasi noon minsan nalasing siya, nabuntis siya!<br />
============<br />
a thirsty city girl went to a barrio <br />
GIRL: where galling your water manong?<br />
MATANDA: sa ilog ineng. <br />
GIRL: ha? You drink that water manong?<br />
MATANDA: duhhh! Why, sa syudad ba chine-chew?<br />
============ =<br />
DEATH of MR.BEAN'S MOTHER<br />
Mr Bean: (crying) the doctor just called up, my mom's dead. <br />
Friend: condolence, my friend. <br />
(after 2 minutes, Mr. Bean cries even louder.)<br />
Friend: what now, Mr. Bean? <br />
Mr Bean: my sister just called. Her mom died too.<br />
============ =<br />
NOEL: ipapangalan ko sa aking anak &quot; LEON &quot; baliktad ng Noel. <br />
NINO: sa akin ONIN baliktad ng NINO.<br />
TOTO: wag niyo akong maisali-sali dyan sa usapan niyo!<br />
============ =<br />
Sinoli ni Erap ang libro sa  library.<br />
ERAP: sobrang dami ng characters wala naman storya.<br />
LIBRARIAN: kayo  pala kumuha ng telephone directory namin! <br />
============ =<br />
JAIME ZOBEL DE AYALA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Spanish.<br />
HENRY SY: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Chinese.<br />
LITO ATIENZA: 1/2 Hawaiian, 1/2 Polo.<br />
MIKE ARROYO: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 pork.<br />
JOHN OSMENA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pinay.<br />
PROSPERO PICHAY: 1/2 Unggoy, 1/2 gulay.<br />
GMA: 1/2 ... only.<br />
============ ==<br />
MR: hon promise simula ngayon, iiwan ko na ang mga kabit ko.<br />
MRS: wow. Thank you love. Ako naman, I promise, ang susunod nating anak, ikaw na ang ama. Promise talaga. <br />
============ ==<br />
<br />
SA OSPITAL.....<br />
WIFE: hon, nahirapan ako huminga.<br />
HUSBAND: kung nahirapan ka ng huminga, itigil mo na.<br />
============ ==<br />
ATE: pabili ng pilis.<br />
TINDERA: ano po?<br />
A: pilis po!<br />
T: ha? Dilis? <br />
A: pilis po. <br />
T: ano? Philip?<br />
A: pilis nga! Yung nudols.<br />
============ ==<br />
sa sabungan, walang entrance fee ang may dalang panabong. Si Juan para makalibre pumasok may dalang  inahin.<br />
BANTAY: [sinita si Juan] ano yan? <br />
JUAN: [galit pa!] manok! <br />
BANTAY: alam ko, eh bakit inahin?<br />
JUAN: may laban ang mister niya, siyempre moral support bobo!<br />
<br />
============ ==<br />
GF: magaling! At sino tong baby na nagtext sayo?<br />
BF: ah eh kumpare ko yun! Lalake yun! Baby lang palayaw. <br />
GF: oh eto replyan mo. Hindi daw kayo tuloy at may mens daw ang tarantado!<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">============ ==<br />
INA: anak, tawagan mo nga tatay mo sa celfon. Pauwiin mo dito.<br />
[pagkatapos tawagan.]<br />
ANAK: nay, babae po ang sumagot. <br />
INA: lintik, sinasabi ko na nga ba, may tinatago yang tatay mo eh! </font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">Anong  sabi?<br />
ANAK:  'you only have zero pesos in your account...' hindi ko na tinapos nay mukhang matapobre. <br />
============ == <br />
nagbubungkal ng lupa si Erap para magtanim. Akala ng nakakita niloloko lang siya dahil wala naman siyang tinatanim. <br />
BANTAY: sir, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah.<br />
ERAP: bobo! Seedless to!<br />
============ ==<br />
ANAK: nay, ano po ba yung 10 commandments? <br />
NANAY: yun yung sampung utos ng Diyos. <br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">ANAK: mas makapangyarihan pa po pala kayo sa Diyos eh!<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">NANAY: bakit?<br />
ANAK: ang dami niyong utos eh!<br />
<br />
============ ==<br />
HISTORY 101:<br />
JUDAS: anong gimik yang hinuhugasan ni Magda ang  paa ni  Bossing? <br />
PETER: wag kang makialam, darating ang araw at tatawagin yang FOOT SPA. <br />
============ ==<br />
PEDRO: niloko ko yung tindera kanina.<br />
JUAN: paano mo naman niloko yung tindera?<br />
</font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">PEDRO: nagpaload ako eh wala naman akong celfon. <br />
============ ==<br />
paramihan ng anak.<br />
HAPONESA: pumasok, bitbit 10 anak. <br />
(palakpakan)<br />
AMERIKANA: pumasok, bitbit 20 anak.<br />
(palakpakan)<br />
PINAY: pumasok, sigawan ang audience! &quot;GO NAY!!&quot;<br />
============ === <br />
may nakakita sakin sa dalampasigan. malungkot at nagiisa. sabi niya, 'kung mahal mo siya, bakit di mo ipadama?' sumagot ako, 'mahal ka diyan?!!! </font></font></font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">naiwan ako  sa outing tanga.'<br />
============ ===<br />
kung totoo ang ' Darwin 's theory of evolution' na ang tao ay nagmula sa unggoy, bakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo? <br />
============ ===<br />
DORAY: mare, kulang pa kami ng isang miyembro. baka gusto mong sumali sa paluwagan. <br />
PINANG : hindi pa ako pwede, mare.<br />
DORAY: bakit mare?<br />
PINAY: virgin pa kasi ako.<br />
============ ====<br />
ERAP SA PIZZA HUT<br />
WAITER: sir, do you want me to cut your pizza into 4 slices or 8 slices?<br />
ERAP: into four na lang, masyadong marami yung eight. di ko mauubos. <br />
<br />
<br />
AMO: inday, kunin mo nga yung VOGUE magazine! <br />
INDAY: mam, vogyu hindi vog.<br />
AMO: inday, vog ang tamang pagbigkas.<br />
INDAY: o sige na nga mam VOG na, there's no need to ARG.<br />
============ ===<br />
pano sasabihin sa isang girl na maitim ang kili-kili niya without hurting his feelings? <br />
&quot;ganda ng deodorant mo ha, kiwi?&quot;<br />
============ ===<br />
Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa  Museum, yung attendant nataranta.<br />
ATTENDANT: naku sir, more than 500 years old na po yang vase.<br />
ERAP: hay salamat. Akala ko bago! <br />
============ ===<br />
Overheard from a girl na galit sa kararating na boyfriend sa starbucks: </font></font></font></font><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><br />
</font></font><font face="Tahoma"><font color="navy"><font color="navy"><font face="Tahoma">GIRL: my God, you're so late. Where did you . . . where have you. . . where do you. . . san ka ba galing? <br />
============ ===<br />
ang tawag sa gumagawa ng tubo, tubero. Ang tawag sa kumukuha ng basura, basurero. Ang tawag sa mahilig sa gimik, gimikero. Sa maraming babae, babaero. Ang tawag sa nakaupo sa kanto.?<br />
<br />
Tambay pare,  tambay!</font></font></font></font><br />
<br />
</font><br />
</font><br />
</font><br />
<br />
</font><br />
</font><br />
</font><br />
<br />
</font></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>RainDrizzle07</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243424-new-set-of-jokes-_.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>transformer :D</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243305-transformer-d-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 01:33:42 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[YouTube - Marlboro Transformer II (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CwtrrDYdqQ&feature=player_embedded#at=134)]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CwtrrDYdqQ&amp;feature=player_embedded#at=134" target="_blank">YouTube - Marlboro Transformer II</a></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>rcm0722</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243305-transformer-d.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Manny Serenades Flyod</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243291-manny-serenades-flyod-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:26:19 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Just a little something for Floyd Mayweather...


*SOMEDAY WHEN WE TATS*
(by Manny Pacquiao)

They asked you if you'll fight me
And you choked on your reply
I'd rather Arum deal with you
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you,
On what you say or do
The fans are now beginning
To see the real you...

And someday when we tats
My LEFT will be too much
That you have to close your eyes
Where do you hide?
I wanna pound you til you're white
'Til your face breaks down and cry
I wanna beat you
'Til you dream and say, goodnight.

You think you are a strategist
That you can insult my pride
But through your insecurities
You're ZERO loss seemed right
You're just another fighter
So far from what is true
An overrated boxer
Who never gives his due

And someday when we tats
My RIGHT will be too much
That you have to close your eyes
Where do you hide?
I wanna pound you til you're white
'Til your face breaks down and cry
I wanna beat you
'Til you dream and say, goodnight.

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
The fans would like to watch you
And see your first defeat

Your huggers understand you
And we know how hard they try
I've watched your Dad protect you
And your Uncle loves to smile Image: http://www.istorya.net/forums/cid:image001.gif@01CA6775.FE5CF560 

My coach thinks your a loser
Still searching for a break
You think your odds are better
But then the public bets AGAINST!

And someday when we tats
My SPEED will be too much
That you have to close your eyes
Where can you hide?
I wanna pound you til you're white
'Til your face breaks down and cry
I wanna beat you
'Til you dream and say, goodniiiiiiigggghhhhhttttt!]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>Just a little something for Floyd Mayweather...<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>SOMEDAY WHEN WE TATS</b><br />
(by Manny Pacquiao)<br />
<br />
They asked you if you'll fight me<br />
And you choked on your reply<br />
I'd rather Arum deal with you<br />
Than mislead you with a lie<br />
And who am I to judge you,<br />
On what you say or do<br />
The fans are now beginning<br />
To see the real you...<br />
<br />
And someday when we tats<br />
My LEFT will be too much<br />
That you have to close your eyes<br />
Where do you hide?<br />
I wanna pound you til you're white<br />
'Til your face breaks down and cry<br />
I wanna beat you<br />
'Til you dream and say, goodnight.<br />
<br />
You think you are a strategist<br />
That you can insult my pride<br />
But through your insecurities<br />
You're ZERO loss seemed right<br />
You're just another fighter<br />
So far from what is true<br />
An overrated boxer<br />
Who never gives his due<br />
<br />
And someday when we tats<br />
My RIGHT will be too much<br />
That you have to close your eyes<br />
Where do you hide?<br />
I wanna pound you til you're white<br />
'Til your face breaks down and cry<br />
I wanna beat you<br />
'Til you dream and say, goodnight.<br />
<br />
At times I'd like to break you<br />
And drive you to your knees<br />
The fans would like to watch you<br />
And see your first defeat<br />
<br />
Your huggers understand you<br />
And we know how hard they try<br />
I've watched your Dad protect you<br />
And your Uncle loves to smile <img src="http://www.istorya.net/forums/cid:image001.gif@01CA6775.FE5CF560" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://www.istorya.net/forums/cid:image001.gif@01CA6775.FE5CF560\');" border="0" /><br />
<br />
My coach thinks your a loser<br />
Still searching for a break<br />
You think your odds are better<br />
But then the public bets AGAINST!<br />
<br />
And someday when we tats<br />
My SPEED will be too much<br />
That you have to close your eyes<br />
Where can you hide?<br />
I wanna pound you til you're white<br />
'Til your face breaks down and cry<br />
I wanna beat you<br />
'Til you dream and say, goodniiiiiiigggghhhhhttttt!</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>baroroy</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243291-manny-serenades-flyod.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Unsay buhaton nako?</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243194-unsay-buhaton-nako-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:44:22 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[For the past several days, di ko katulog... maabtan ko'g 1:30 to 3:00 a.m. mata pa gihapon. I have to work at 7.

Unsay angay buhaton aron makatug dayon ko? Thanks...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>For the past several days, di ko katulog... maabtan ko'g 1:30 to 3:00 a.m. mata pa gihapon. I have to work at 7.<br />
<br />
Unsay angay buhaton aron makatug dayon ko? Thanks...</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>Greggy_Liwag</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243194-unsay-buhaton-nako.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Rate this video.</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243103-rate-this-video-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 19 Nov 2009 05:14:03 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[unsa inyo ikasulti ani?

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xFDCA482WVo&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xFDCA482WVo&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>unsa inyo ikasulti ani?<br />
<br />
&lt;object width=&quot;425&quot; height=&quot;344&quot;&gt;&lt;param name=&quot;movie&quot; value=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/v/xFDCA482WVo&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;&quot;&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name=&quot;allowFullScreen&quot; value=&quot;true&quot;&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name=&quot;allowscriptaccess&quot; value=&quot;always&quot;&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;embed src=&quot;http://www.youtube.com/v/xFDCA482WVo&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;&quot; type=&quot;application/x-shockwave-flash&quot; allowscriptaccess=&quot;always&quot; allowfullscreen=&quot;true&quot; width=&quot;425&quot; height=&quot;344&quot;&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>rafael00</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243103-rate-this-video.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Priceless Photoshoot</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243033-priceless-photoshoot-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:15:17 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>-deleted- naa na diay nag post :D</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>-deleted- naa na diay nag post :D</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>rambutan</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243033-priceless-photoshoot.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Night Clubs for Overweight People</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243031-night-clubs-for-overweight-people-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:42:34 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>*California nightclubs Club Bounce and The Butterfly Lounge opened their doors to people who may not feel comfortable in other establishments of the state because of their weight.
These clubs are still a novelty and they can be counted on the fingers of one hand, but their popularity is high.
Visitors like the fact that no one stares at them and they can dance without fear of being watched and judged.


Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_10.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_11.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_12.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_13.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_14.jpg Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_15.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_16.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_17.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_18.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_19.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_20.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_21.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_23.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_24.jpg 
Image: http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_25.jpg 
*</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><b>California nightclubs Club Bounce and The Butterfly Lounge opened their doors to people who may not feel comfortable in other establishments of the state because of their weight.<br />
These clubs are still a novelty and they can be counted on the fingers of one hand, but their popularity is high.<br />
Visitors like the fact that no one stares at them and they can dance without fear of being watched and judged.<br />
<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_10.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_10.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_11.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_11.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_12.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_12.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_13.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_13.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_14.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_14.jpg');" border="0" /><img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_15.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_15.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_16.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_16.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_17.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_17.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_18.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_18.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_19.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_19.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_20.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_20.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_21.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_21.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_23.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_23.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_24.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_24.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<img src="http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_25.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://i81.servimg.com/u/f81/14/31/56/83/night_25.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
</b></div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>bloodyrose</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243031-night-clubs-for-overweight-people.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>KInsa nah crush aling dionesia?</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243011-kinsa-nah-crush-aling-dionesia-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:02:54 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[hhaha, Share if you want guys. Don't be shy. :)]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>hhaha, Share if you want guys. Don't be shy. :)</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>JeLi_An</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/243011-kinsa-nah-crush-aling-dionesia.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Kwela Nobela : Chapters 40 - 41</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/242908-kwela-nobela-chapters-40-41-a-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:49:54 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Short Film Coming : Negative One
" Ang Pagbabalik "
Chapter 40

< Christoper > : paunahan tayong dalawa Elvis kung sino unang makaka-score kay Anton
< Rex > : hello? tayong tatlo, tayong tatlo kaya, isama nyo naman ako sa mga pangarap ninyo
< Christoper > : wag ka na, mabantot ka eh
< Elvis > : hala!
< Rex > : ikaw … yung hininga mo lang naaamoy mo kapag nagsasalita ka
< Christoper > : kaya pala, kaya pala panay halik sa akin ni Anton, lips to lips
< Rex > : impusible, eh araw-araw kaming nagsasabay maligo ni Anton, sana may naikwento man lang sya sa kin habang pinapaliguan nya ko
< Christoper > : wag ka ngang sinungaleng
< Rex > : hindi ako sinungaling
< Christoper > : sinungaling ka
< Rex > : mamatay na sinungaling, ganun talaga kapag mas mahal ni Anton
< Christoper > : o talaga?
< Rex > : talaga
< Christoper > : ang kapal, ang kapal ng libag
< Rex > : makapal talaga libag ko
< Christoper > : (sinuntok bigla mukha ni Rex) tumigil ka na nga Rex! iniinit mo ulo ko eh!
< Rex > : aray! … eh sa mas mahal nga ako ni Anton! anong magagawa ko!
< Christoper > : (tinulak si Rex) kung nung mga bata tayo madalas pinagbibigyan kita pero ngayon hindi na! sa kin si Anton sa akin!
< Elvis > : (pumagitna) guys! guys! mga lalake lahat tayo dito, pag-usapan natin to ng maayos
< Rex > : naiinggit lang yan kasi sa kin binibigay ibang paboritong damit ni Anton eh
< Christoper > : mamatay ka na Rex wala kang alam, charity tawag dun huy … paganahin mo nga yang utak mo mag-isip-isip ka nga, palibhasa hindi ka nag-highschool
< Elvis > : (nangingiti lang)
< Rex > : hindi ko na kailangang mag-isip pa, nakikita ko naman kasi na mahal na mahal ako ni Anton ko, pinapakita nya sa kin araw-araw
< Christoper > : adik ka magshabu ka na lang
< Rex > : kami ni Anton oo

(dumating sila Ann at Mia)

< Mia > : si Anton ba pinag-uusapan ninyo?
< Christoper > : …
< Mia > : pang-apat na grupo na kayong naengkwentro namin ni Ann na pinag-uusapan si Anton ah
< Ann > : lahat nauwi sa away
< Elvis > : etong dalawa pagsabihan nyo, kanina pa
< Mia > : lately, gumagwapo daw si Anton sabi ni Ann
< Ann > : hala! (tinapik si Mia)
< Mia > : tumigil ka nga kunwari ka pa, inihulog mo pa nga ako sa hagdan nasabi ko lang na pinahiram ko ng calculator si Anton
< Ann > : eh kasi naman, nagdilim paningin ko bigla

(other location)
(inside the car)

< (close-up) Mom > : ayokong makikitang babaguhin mo yang ayos mo ah! ganyan ka na habang buhay! naiintindihan mo! sagot!
< Anton's voice > : pero ano na lang sasabihin ng mga kaibigan ko?
< (close-up) Mom > : gusto mo bang magulpi ulit kita! ha!
< Anton's voice > : okey okey, habang buhay nang ganito
< (close-up) Mom > : mabute! sasamahan na kita sa school gate mo

(other location)
(school gate)

< Everyone > : ..?
< Christoper > : dude, ano yang suot-suot mo?
(showing now Anton na naka-pink na damit na pambabae)
< Anton > : …
< Mom > : natutuwa talaga ako, lumaking naging maganda anak ko
< Everyone > : (smiling)
< Anton > : Mommy, hindi ako babae! nakakahiya tong pinagagawa nyo sa kin!
< Mom > : hoy Anton! baka nakalimutan mo na sinabi ko sayo! ano bang sinabi ko sayo, ha! sabihin mo!
< Anton > : … stop, pretending, na naging lalake ako
< Mom > : ano yon!? hindi kita narinig! … kayo, narinig nyo ba sya!?
< Everyone > : (nodding no)
< Christoper > : hindi po
< Anton > : pinanganak akong walang wangwang!!! yun ba gusto mong marinig!
< Mom > : mabuti naman alam mo! babae lang ang pwedeng maging anak sa pamilya ko, sa pamilya natin! kaya isuot mo na to! (giving Anton a feminine napkin)
< Anton > : Mommy!
< Mom > : ngayon na! at meron ka ngayon!
< Everyone > : (smiling)
< Anton > : (mahinang boses) stupid feminine napkin (kumuha ng isa tapos inilagay sa loob ng panty nya sa likod) … tapos na!
< Mom > : dyan ka ba dinadaluyan ng dugo!? ilagay mo sa harap! … umayos ka kung hinde
< Anton > : (galit na kinuha ulit yung napkin, tapos inilagay sa loob ng panty nya sa harap) yan! masaya ka na! protektado na ko ngayon sa regla!!!
< Mom > : mabuti naman!!! … alis na ko (then kiss Anton's cheek sabay alis na)
< Anton > : (mahinang boses) may Mommy nga ako, siraulo naman
< Mom's voice > : anong sinabi mo!?
< Anton > : ang sabi ko, may siraulo akong Mommy!!!
< Mom's voice > : ganun ba! mahal din kita!!!
< Everyone > : hahahaha...
< Christoper > : ang ganda mo ngayon Anton ah, gusto mong makipag-deyt sa kin?
< Anton > : tumigil ka na nga kung hinde
< Rex > : pare, papasok ka talagang nakaganyan?
< Anton > : ganun na nga, kapag hinubad ko to, bugbog sarado na naman ako … kaasar nga eh (nangangate)
< Mia > : pasok na tayo Ann mahuhuli na tayo
< Ann > : tara
< Rex > : sige pasok na kayo, uwi na ko (paalis na sana)
< Christoper > : … ah Rex
< Rex > : ..?
< Christoper > : tungkol nga pala sa higschool kanina, hindi ko, sinasadyang, sabihin yon
< Rex > : (no response)
< Christoper > : forgiveness?
< Rex > : forgiveness (smiling)
(then they hug)

--- end of Chapter 40 ---]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>Short Film Coming : Negative One<br />
&quot; Ang Pagbabalik &quot;<br />
Chapter 40<br />
<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : paunahan tayong dalawa Elvis kung sino unang makaka-score kay Anton<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : hello? tayong tatlo, tayong tatlo kaya, isama nyo naman ako sa mga pangarap ninyo<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : wag ka na, mabantot ka eh<br />
&lt; Elvis &gt; : hala!<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : ikaw … yung hininga mo lang naaamoy mo kapag nagsasalita ka<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : kaya pala, kaya pala panay halik sa akin ni Anton, lips to lips<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : impusible, eh araw-araw kaming nagsasabay maligo ni Anton, sana may naikwento man lang sya sa kin habang pinapaliguan nya ko<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : wag ka ngang sinungaleng<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : hindi ako sinungaling<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : sinungaling ka<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : mamatay na sinungaling, ganun talaga kapag mas mahal ni Anton<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : o talaga?<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : talaga<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : ang kapal, ang kapal ng libag<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : makapal talaga libag ko<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : (sinuntok bigla mukha ni Rex) tumigil ka na nga Rex! iniinit mo ulo ko eh!<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : aray! … eh sa mas mahal nga ako ni Anton! anong magagawa ko!<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : (tinulak si Rex) kung nung mga bata tayo madalas pinagbibigyan kita pero ngayon hindi na! sa kin si Anton sa akin!<br />
&lt; Elvis &gt; : (pumagitna) guys! guys! mga lalake lahat tayo dito, pag-usapan natin to ng maayos<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : naiinggit lang yan kasi sa kin binibigay ibang paboritong damit ni Anton eh<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : mamatay ka na Rex wala kang alam, charity tawag dun huy … paganahin mo nga yang utak mo mag-isip-isip ka nga, palibhasa hindi ka nag-highschool<br />
&lt; Elvis &gt; : (nangingiti lang)<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : hindi ko na kailangang mag-isip pa, nakikita ko naman kasi na mahal na mahal ako ni Anton ko, pinapakita nya sa kin araw-araw<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : adik ka magshabu ka na lang<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : kami ni Anton oo<br />
<br />
(dumating sila Ann at Mia)<br />
<br />
&lt; Mia &gt; : si Anton ba pinag-uusapan ninyo?<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : …<br />
&lt; Mia &gt; : pang-apat na grupo na kayong naengkwentro namin ni Ann na pinag-uusapan si Anton ah<br />
&lt; Ann &gt; : lahat nauwi sa away<br />
&lt; Elvis &gt; : etong dalawa pagsabihan nyo, kanina pa<br />
&lt; Mia &gt; : lately, gumagwapo daw si Anton sabi ni Ann<br />
&lt; Ann &gt; : hala! (tinapik si Mia)<br />
&lt; Mia &gt; : tumigil ka nga kunwari ka pa, inihulog mo pa nga ako sa hagdan nasabi ko lang na pinahiram ko ng calculator si Anton<br />
&lt; Ann &gt; : eh kasi naman, nagdilim paningin ko bigla<br />
<br />
(other location)<br />
(inside the car)<br />
<br />
&lt; (close-up) Mom &gt; : ayokong makikitang babaguhin mo yang ayos mo ah! ganyan ka na habang buhay! naiintindihan mo! sagot!<br />
&lt; Anton's voice &gt; : pero ano na lang sasabihin ng mga kaibigan ko?<br />
&lt; (close-up) Mom &gt; : gusto mo bang magulpi ulit kita! ha!<br />
&lt; Anton's voice &gt; : okey okey, habang buhay nang ganito<br />
&lt; (close-up) Mom &gt; : mabute! sasamahan na kita sa school gate mo<br />
<br />
(other location)<br />
(school gate)<br />
<br />
&lt; Everyone &gt; : ..?<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : dude, ano yang suot-suot mo?<br />
(showing now Anton na naka-pink na damit na pambabae)<br />
&lt; Anton &gt; : …<br />
&lt; Mom &gt; : natutuwa talaga ako, lumaking naging maganda anak ko<br />
&lt; Everyone &gt; : (smiling)<br />
&lt; Anton &gt; : Mommy, hindi ako babae! nakakahiya tong pinagagawa nyo sa kin!<br />
&lt; Mom &gt; : hoy Anton! baka nakalimutan mo na sinabi ko sayo! ano bang sinabi ko sayo, ha! sabihin mo!<br />
&lt; Anton &gt; : … stop, pretending, na naging lalake ako<br />
&lt; Mom &gt; : ano yon!? hindi kita narinig! … kayo, narinig nyo ba sya!?<br />
&lt; Everyone &gt; : (nodding no)<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : hindi po<br />
&lt; Anton &gt; : pinanganak akong walang wangwang!!! yun ba gusto mong marinig!<br />
&lt; Mom &gt; : mabuti naman alam mo! babae lang ang pwedeng maging anak sa pamilya ko, sa pamilya natin! kaya isuot mo na to! (giving Anton a feminine napkin)<br />
&lt; Anton &gt; : Mommy!<br />
&lt; Mom &gt; : ngayon na! at meron ka ngayon!<br />
&lt; Everyone &gt; : (smiling)<br />
&lt; Anton &gt; : (mahinang boses) stupid feminine napkin (kumuha ng isa tapos inilagay sa loob ng panty nya sa likod) … tapos na!<br />
&lt; Mom &gt; : dyan ka ba dinadaluyan ng dugo!? ilagay mo sa harap! … umayos ka kung hinde<br />
&lt; Anton &gt; : (galit na kinuha ulit yung napkin, tapos inilagay sa loob ng panty nya sa harap) yan! masaya ka na! protektado na ko ngayon sa regla!!!<br />
&lt; Mom &gt; : mabuti naman!!! … alis na ko (then kiss Anton's cheek sabay alis na)<br />
&lt; Anton &gt; : (mahinang boses) may Mommy nga ako, siraulo naman<br />
&lt; Mom's voice &gt; : anong sinabi mo!?<br />
&lt; Anton &gt; : ang sabi ko, may siraulo akong Mommy!!!<br />
&lt; Mom's voice &gt; : ganun ba! mahal din kita!!!<br />
&lt; Everyone &gt; : hahahaha...<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : ang ganda mo ngayon Anton ah, gusto mong makipag-deyt sa kin?<br />
&lt; Anton &gt; : tumigil ka na nga kung hinde<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : pare, papasok ka talagang nakaganyan?<br />
&lt; Anton &gt; : ganun na nga, kapag hinubad ko to, bugbog sarado na naman ako … kaasar nga eh (nangangate)<br />
&lt; Mia &gt; : pasok na tayo Ann mahuhuli na tayo<br />
&lt; Ann &gt; : tara<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : sige pasok na kayo, uwi na ko (paalis na sana)<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : … ah Rex<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : ..?<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : tungkol nga pala sa higschool kanina, hindi ko, sinasadyang, sabihin yon<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : (no response)<br />
&lt; Christoper &gt; : forgiveness?<br />
&lt; Rex &gt; : forgiveness (smiling)<br />
(then they hug)<br />
<br />
--- end of Chapter 40 ---</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>delay</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/242908-kwela-nobela-chapters-40-41-a.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Twilight New Moon's New Casts!]]></title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/242906-twilight-new-moons-new-casts-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:45:04 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>Image: http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/1157/12939114256373029714135.jpg 


Hahaha!:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><img src="http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/1157/12939114256373029714135.jpg" onload="if(largerThan(this.width,500)) {this.width=500;this.alt='Click here to see a large version';}" onmouseover="if(this.alt) this.style.cursor='pointer';" onclick="if(this.alt) window.open('http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/1157/12939114256373029714135.jpg');" border="0" /><br />
<br />
<br />
Hahaha!:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::th  umbsup:</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>princess_21</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/242906-twilight-new-moons-new-casts.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>Pedro in war with MILF.. :)</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/242882-pedro-in-war-with-milf-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:26:52 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>Perdo in war with MILF: 

Pedro: surrender na mo!

MILF: mo surrender lang mi kung ma _spell_ nimo ang ceasefire!
.
.
.
.
.
Pedro: Padayun ang gera!! dugmokon sila! padalhan ta mo nako ug chrysanthemum sa inyung lubong!
.

MILF: Speell chrysanthemum?!!!


Pedro: F*ck you! ingon ko rose!! bungol! Patay kung patay wala lay spelingay..!
                                  haha bogo og mama!!!</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>Perdo in war with MILF: <br />
<br />
Pedro: surrender na mo!<br />
<br />
MILF: mo surrender lang mi kung ma <u>spell</u> nimo ang ceasefire!<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
Pedro: Padayun ang gera!! dugmokon sila! padalhan ta mo nako ug chrysanthemum sa inyung lubong!<br />
.<br />
<br />
MILF: Speell chrysanthemum?!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
Pedro: F*ck you! ingon ko rose!! bungol! Patay kung patay wala lay spelingay..!<br />
                                  haha bogo og mama!!!</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>stoutshield</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/242882-pedro-in-war-with-milf.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>unsa may click nga negosyo karon?</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/242769-unsa-may-click-nga-negosyo-karon-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:27:47 GMT</pubDate>
			<description>hhhmmmppppp? resto bar?? store? pungko2x? unsa man guys?</description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>hhhmmmppppp? resto bar?? store? pungko2x? unsa man guys?</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>boo_joann</dc:creator>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/242769-unsa-may-click-nga-negosyo-karon.html</guid>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title>asa ka pili, pachulaon kang dionisia or sumbagon ka ni pacquiao??</title>
			<link>http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/242641-asa-ka-pili-pachulaon-kang-dionisia-or-sumbagon-ka-ni-pacquiao-new-post.html</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:12:43 GMT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[>>> pasumbag nalang ko pacquiao..heheheh]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>&gt;&gt;&gt; pasumbag nalang ko pacquiao..heheheh</div>

]]></content:encoded>
			<category domain="http://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/">Humor</category>
			<dc:creator>maturebaby</dc:creator>
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		</item>
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