I got this line from Ptr. Paolo when he was talking about HOPE. I know I’ve been hearing this a lot of times that the God I am serving is a God of HOPE and a GOD of restoration. At times I know I just need to be reminded of this so I would be refreshed and encouraged to continue on being hopeful in God. Lately I have been on a roller coaster of sorts. It has been an interesting ride. I am so grateful that God has allowed things to happen in my life and has been teaching me lessons that has brought me this far. I have been a single mom for three years now, and I have been waiting for God to answer my prayers. For such a long time, God has been sustaining me, giving me breakthroughs, making me whole, giving me the security that I need, bringing me closer to Him and leading me to where I should go. The other day, I got to read some messages from friends & I was reminded of what happened to me & my son back then. I couldn’t imagine how wrecked my life was, how hopeless I was, how broken I was with the situation that I am in. For years I have been trying to manipulate the situation just to bring back what I had…but I failed. But God is just so good that he has matured me and has quieted me with his unfailing love. All he wanted was just for me to learn to trust Him fully and not go ahead of Him. He brought people into my life–People who encouraged me, mentored me, corrected me and loved me. God has allowed me to go through circumstances that had taught me to be humble before him, to be submissive and just to grow into a woman after his own heart. I have come to understand why I have to go through such things. He has a great purpose and a great plan for my life and my son’s life.

The more I understand, the more I get excited. The more I seek God, the more he reveals himself to me. And no matter how impossible things are right now, I get more excited because I just can’t wait what God will do and how he will pull me out of this situation. And with all the painful stuff that I’ve been through, he will turn them into something beautiful in time. “He will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning and praise instead of despair.”-(Isaiah 61:3). God has been telling me to just put my hope in him, keep a quiet spirit and just keep going because the battle isn’t mine, it’s his. And he said in Chronicles 20:17 “…stand still and watch the Lord’s victory”… so I am just going to stand still and watch him move. Although it’s true, the battle’s not done yet… I am still waiting for that great breakthrough and it’s okay…. I will still be hopeful, it’s only Friday… Sunday’s coming soon!

It was on a Friday when Mary’s crying her eyes out, seeing Jesus mocked and beaten… It’s Friday when the Roman soldiers scourged our Lord, tearing his flesh… they pressed the crown of thorns down to his brow. It was Friday when Jesus was hanging on the cross, bloody and dying and people were weeping while Hell’s partying…the devil’s smiling… BUT that was just Friday. What they didn’t know was that it was only Friday and that Sunday’s coming!

What’s on a Sunday?

It was on a Sunday when Jesus defeated death, he rose from the dead. And that same resurrection power that raised Jesus from the dead will also raise the deadest part of your life (emotions, relationships..what have you). God is able to resurrect whatever dead there is in my life (and in your life too). He is able to restore what has been destroyed for years no matter how impossible it may be in reality. What God has done in the past, He is able to do today and in our future. Yes, I am going through something today… and that’s only Friday BUT Sunday’s coming!!!

I have been praying and believing for a restoration of a broken relationship and I am still waiting for it to happen… but hey, it’s only Friday… Sunday’s coming!

I have been praying for a lot of things in my life and I have been going through a lot.. but it’s okay, it’s only Friday and I know that Sunday’s coming!

I know I’m not the only person in this world going through our different “Fridays”… whatever Friday you may have, I hope that you will keep going… I hope that this encourages you and keeps you hopeful that God has promised victory for you. In fact, he already did it when he died on the cross for all of us.

God is always in FULL control.

In Isaiah 40:12 it says:

Who else has held the oceans in his hand?

Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers?
Who else knows the weight of the earth
or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale?

And in verses 21-23:

Haven’t you heard? Don’t you understand?
Are you deaf to the words of God—
the words he gave before the world began?
Are you so ignorant?
God sits above the circle of the earth.
The people below seem like grasshoppers to him!
He spreads out the heavens like a curtain
and makes his tent from them.
He judges the great people of the world
and brings them all to nothing.

I was rebuked really. But I was in awe knowing how big God is, Amazing!  Everything in the universe is too small for Him but why do people can’t even worship him? rather, they tend to worship and praise his CREATIONS (than the creator), it’s such a shame! I’ve been saying and believing that I’m serving a BIG GOD but I knew that i need to know more about him..i wanted to know more on how big and great God is and there… I got the answers.

Not only that, he also promised STRENGTH, as stated in verses 29-31:

“He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.”

We are all human, which means that we all get tired. What happened to me yesterday was really exhausting. I was emotionally down. I got so weak. However, weakness and weariness isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, it points out and reinforces the fact that we are very limited and finite beings. It causes us to look elsewhere for strength because we know that we are at the end of our own strength. The Apostle Paul knew this well. He was suffering. He prayed and asked God to remove his “thorn in the flesh.” God didn’t remove it. Instead God told him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12.9).

And there’s more…  which was good news and really, it uplifted my soul (see what God’s word can do… J) Isaiah 41:10-13 says:

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

“See, all your angry enemies lie there,
confused and humiliated.
Anyone who opposes you will die
and come to nothing.
You will look in vain
for those who tried to conquer you.
Those who attack you
will come to nothing.
For I hold you by your right hand—
I, the Lord your God.

Then Isaiah 43:1-10 continues to encourage me and comfort me. I just find it so amazing how God cares and loves someone like me who’s not even worthy of it. I was born a sinner and I did a lot of crazy things in the past that really hurt my creator but he redeemed me, I was given another chance to live a life that’s so beautiful and was bought at a high price through Jesus on the cross.

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.

“But you are my witnesses, O Israel!” says the Lord.
“You are my servant.
You have been chosen to know me, believe in me,
and understand that I alone am God.
There is no other God—
there never has been, and there never will be.

“Do not be afraid” was repeated more than once, so it really means something. God’s telling me that I shouldn’t be afraid, what can man do to me? And God’s telling me to PERSEVERE… to ENDURE and not give up so easily with what I see. He is in control. I also realized that being called to be his servant and witness is such a privilege. God doesn’t really need my help to save people from the wage of sin (which is eternal death), but He has given me a privilege to be part of his plans. Really amazing!

Definitely what I experienced yesterday wasn’t just for myself because when I began to go back on what God has to say in my situation, he opened my eyes to the truth about me and my life here on earth and how it can give impact to the people around me. So when I felt that I should blog about this and share, I did it right away hoping that other people would learn something about how God can work in their lives too. This is not about me anymore, it’s all about him.  And whatever it is that’s hurting me and frustrating me, it is nothing compared to what he has prepared for me for his glory. I just really need to always fix my eyes on Him and FOCUS on his word and his promises will surely come to pass. I may not see things changed right now but I am confident that God hears me and is currently at work in my life.

“See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.”

(Isaiah 43:19)

In the natural, things are really hopeless in this so-called life, it’s frustrating! If you know me and my life story, you’d probably say it’s impossible to get complete restoration and see answered prayers. Some people said that no matter how I would pray, it will not change things because they based it from what they see at present. But nothing is impossible with God and He is a God who restores everything that has been devoured by the enemy. He said in his word that “the prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective” (James 5:16) so I am not giving up. I am never intimidated with what’s going on, I serve a BIG GOD, bigger than those people, relationships…bigger than my circumstances…bigger than the universe.

“And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.” (1John 5:14-15)

Never stop praying. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

There are a lot of things that I wanted to share here but it seems that I am so overwhelmed right now that I don’t know how to put things into words. A lot of “suddenly’s & unexpected interesting” things just happened. Last night I got offended by someone (i cared for so much) and honestly it hurt me but I learned something from it. I was reminded of the truth that I am no longer who I was, the old Jen is gone and how I react to situations or people matter a lot.The bible says that “a fool is quick tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted”… I don’t want to be foolish anymore. I also realized again that God’s ways are always mysterious and that He is indeed SOVEREIGN. He is so amazing on how he orchestrates things for me (and I’m sure for you too). He is so amazing with his patience on me, with his gentleness in correcting me, and with everything that he has for me, leading me to where i should go and molding me into who i should become. Everything has been planned by Him, I just got to wait for the right timing and shouldn’t give up seeking Him and to always pray for everything. Nothing is too hard for Him. Everything that is impossible with men is POSSIBLE with God. Everything that is happening to me everyday has a purpose. I may not see answered prayers yet but definitely, i will in time. I got this from a friend, she shared that God answers in 4 ways:YES, NO, WAIT & “I have something better”, whatever answers God will give me, I know I’ll just have to trust Him for he always knows what’s best for me. Things maybe uncomfortable at times but i just got to obey because God has made everything beautiful for it’s own time. So I am not giving up until i see answers and changes. I have a God who watches over me, a God who’s BIGGER than anything in this world.. a GOD who protects me…a POWERFUL God that I should fear of.. a LOVING God who never gives up on me.

*My hope, my security, my confidence and my expectations comes from Him and him alone.

Upon invitation by our good friends and foodtrip buddies, Benjie Ordoñez and his charming wife Magene, we didn’t let the chance pass by. 7PM we started our long journey towards an adventure that we are used to doing… our favorite pastime…EATING!

So it begins, our adventure at Abaca… It was an experience worth the memories! Right from the gate when we entered all the way until dessert. Upon stepping into the place, one would really see and feel the exclusivity. It is not your usual garden setting of a restaurant. There are a lot of foliage that surround the area, right from the parking area up to the pathway leading to the tables. It makes you closer to nature and how i wish i could see its beauty during the daytime. Just thinking of how near we are to the beach makes me feel the breeze as it caresses my skin.

As we approached the dining area we were greeted by Glen, a very charming person. He showed us to our table. I love the cute shells used for the table napkins. The ambiance was so very relaxing, it has a homey feel to it, dim lights with jazz music, makes you think you were somewhere else special.

For the ambiance: I’d give it a 5/5. I was swept off my feet with how everything looked. It was dreamy. My Hubby gives it a 4/5, He found the music quite loud.

We were met with very courteous attendants, always with a “it’s my pleasure” after every “thank you”.

For the management and staff: My hubby and I both agreed on this aspect, 5/5. Very attentive and very charming.

For the appetizer or tapa’s, we had homemade bread with olive oil, corn chowder, chicken liver paté with vegetables and homemade bread. The homemade bread tasted like a “REAL” homemade bread that lets you feel warm inside. I love the crunchiness of the crust and the softness of the inside part (I don’t know what else to call this particular part of the bread… ^_^) of the bread, a perfect pair for the chowder. It had no “yeasty” taste as what most of the breads have. The corn chowder was creamy but the creaminess did not overpower the other ingredients. The corn was so crunchy. My verdict on the chicken liver, VERY delicious and a must try for those people who are squeamish about liver. I for one am not a liver-eating person. But when I tasted this dish, I was at a loss for words on how to describe the fusion of tastes inside my mouth. I almost missed out on this dish, but I gathered enough courage to just dip one tine of the fork and tasted it. It tasted bitter at first, without the bread and the vegetables. But when I mixed everything and piled it up on the homemade bread, the taste was a sensation! Bread with vegetables that had a hint of vinaigrette, topped of with a little mustard and a little of bignay spread which was capped with the chicken liver. One mouthful led to another and each bite had me adding the paté on the bignay spread. The experience was awesome! My husband was so surprised that I actually ate and relished the dish. He was used to me NOT eating and NOT even touching any kind of food that has a hint of liver.

We had Mesclun salad and cheese pizza after all of the fusion of tastes that I have savored. The mesclun consisted of various greens that were all fresh. It had a hint of balsamic vinegar, not overpowering the other ingredients, just right to make everything taste just right. The Cheese Pizza had fresh basil for toppings and i love the cheese and the crust, oh! so crisp and crunchy.

For the main course, we had whole roasted chicken with mashed fresh potatoes and bouillabaisse. The chicken was another experience for the taste buds. The chicken skin was crisp and had a hint of what was rubbed on it to give it its distinctive taste, salt and pepper with thyme. The meat was cooked just right, tender and moist. The chicken juices complemented well with the mashed potato. The bouillabaisse, a mixture of seafoods, salmon and shellfish. The salmon cooked just right and the soup tasted a bit spicy.

The last and most awaited part of the dinner, DESSERT, the dessert platter has 7 different kinds of sweets: tiramisu, chocolate pudding, lemon cheesecake, apple turn-over, chocolate cookie, oatmeal cookie, créme brulée. The first of seven parts of the dessert, the lemon cheesecake. It had a refreshing taste and a melt-in-your-mouth sensation. Everything on that platter had that effect to the taste buds and the palate. It was so soft and the lemon taste is really there, real lemon taste. 2nd part, the créme brulée, the caramel was flamed so perfectly. I told myself, this is the real deal, a real créme brulée at last. I have tasted a lot of créme brulée’s and nothing comes close to what i have just tasted. So creamy and with just the right sweetness. 3rd part, the tiramisu, soft cake and yummy coffee taste. 4th part, the chocolate pudding, soft with the real chocolate taste. 5th part, the apple turnover, soft puff pastry that highly complemented the apples inside. For the last 2 parts, the cookies: the oatmeal and the chocolate, soft and chewy, not so sweet. There were also 2 sticks of puff pastry on the platter, soft and it melts in your mouth.

Food: If I were to judge the food alone, I’d give it a 5/5, I enjoyed EVERYTHING. The fusion of tastes that complemented each and every ingredient of each dishes was so wonderful that I am at a loss for words. But my hubby’s taste buds has a strong bias towards the “sweet” spot and he thinks that the desserts weren’t sweet enough, he gives it a 4/5.

The Bill: Price range per person for food and drinks, around P800 to P2,000. It all depends on what you order.

We really enjoyed our dinner. Good food with good company makes everything wonderful. =D Makes us want to go back there, one of these days (if our schedule permits ^_^)

Moral lesson of the review: don’t listen or believe anything about a place until you have tried it out for yourself. let yourself be the judge =D

For more info about Abaca, visit their website at http://www.abacaresort.com/

Jesus feels your sorrows and as your High Priest has a supernatural ability to sympathize with your weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15). He is intimately acquainted with the things that hurt you. Jesus is capable of empathizing completely with your condition and your past wounding. If it bothers you, it bothers Him. If it hurts you, it hurts Him.

Jesus wants to heal every place you hurt. He wants to heal your hurting heart and restore your fractured mind. God wants you to have emotional balance and to raise your self-esteem. He wants you whole in every way.

Trauma changes us. Healing also changes us. In fact, God turns trauma around for our good. What once was so exceedingly painful and horrible can become, by God’s power, a driving force that produces positive results! God’s ultimate plan for you is always good. He has an appointed time for healing everything negative that you have been through in your past. It doesn’t matter what happened, when it happened, or where it happened. He is here to heal you now.

Wounding was an event; healing is a process. And forgiveness is the first step in your healing process. Ask God to forgive you of your sins, including the things you have done to yourself. Also ask God to heal you of what you could not prevent and never deserved. Ask Him to give you the grace to forgive those who have sinned against you and allow the love and acceptance of Jesus to heal your broken heart and make you whole.

The second step in healing is to choose to receive God’s forgiveness in your life and move forward. Do not let guilt hold you back from everything God has for you. He forgives you completely, and you need to completely forgive yourself.

Third, as you heal, you will need to bury what is dead. Leave what is “over.”

Fourth, in the process of healing, you must get up and go on. Get on with what God has for you! You must decide to say “yes” to the future He holds out to you. Who knows the abundance of life He has designed for you? You won’t know unless you rise up and walk toward your future.

Tonight I woke up from my looooooooooong hibernation from Istorya.Net because someone knocked my cave of memories and told me that I should go back and that in one way or another, there are people who miss me. I said that I was just lurking around but then again, I just kept mum all entirely because when I browse over the forums, I seem not to know anyone and when I tried to holler, I really can’t get the topics that they’re discussing (no offense). I have also gotten so busy with work that although I have the entire access of the internet, I still can’t mingle and do chitchat with people. Although come to think of it, every time I log in at Istorya.Net I just shake my head and sigh. Some of you may know me, others may not have the slightest clue who I am but then again, in one way or another, you might be able to relate to the stages of what I would describe as the ferris wheel of Istorya.Net. Forgive me for the names (albeit original, they are not official). Based on my observation and personal experience, here is our roadmap.

Stage 1: Getting to know the ride. Someone introduces you to the ride of Istorya.Net. However you are invited (Bai/Day/Gurl/Yadj/Bes/Labs/Anak/Lola, “naay daghan chix diri” or “maka solve ni sa imong problema” or “you can meet a lot of people here” or “you can find meaning here” or “apil ka or dili? Sumbagon taka ron!” LOL) or whoever invited you (a friend, a lover, a nerd officemate, a totally hot babe, your crush, a classmate, a teacher who’s selling his stuff, a gay neighbor who wants to make a pass on you—yeach, or just someone who wants to get to know you better), you may be hesitant at first but then you will get a teeny bit interest which will spread to your whole system and entrap you which basically is the point of stage 2.

Stage 2: Riding and Loving It. Alright, so here comes the stage with the following symptoms: When you switch on your computer and log on the net (whether you arrive from work, from lunch, from an exam, from a kasaba ni mama or an away with the uyab, or you can’t sleep), you immediately log on to www.istorya.net. And then, you are glued to the screen scanning all replies from your previous posts, reply, argue, make amends, listen to music (then post the lyrics), have something you need to buy (then you post whatever you need), need advice for you being dumped (you go to love is) or you just want to see how people view the government and other political issues (you know where to go) or you just plain chat in gen chitchat. You may have memorized the lyrics of The Forum song by heart, you may perhaps get warned, get banned, or get promoted to a higher status. You may have arguments or you may have fallen in love in the cyber world or you may hear comments every now and then, “hey who are these people? Where is this and that? I miss you guys!” and you may never understand. Before the shoutbox was invented by our great “humble” super newbie master Beor (a.k.a. Mr. Galadriel, Mr.Macro-who-shoots-insects-and-eats-them-later-for dinner-eeeewww), we have this Off-Topic thread where you can post single words like uhmmm.yes.fine.whatever.dude!musta?oist!hahaha.LOL.” And this is where you get all the posts to become the number one poster (I was. But never because of OT. Haha) and others might see you as crazy but hey, this is my istorya world. Stay out of it. And then you meet lots of friends through EBs (where you bring other friends just so you can get comfy at first) and you hang out with them every week and you form groups with group names and you befriend moderators and find out that they’re really cool guys (that’s why I fell in love with one.char). And then maybe, your boss would see you not doing your report and you go to Human Resources for disciplinary action or you might as well walk like a zombie the next day with your eyebags looking like you’re a raccoon on reverse because you didn’t have enough sleep due to excessive posting. That, my friend is the diagnosis for a CERTIFIED ISTORYAN ADDICT aka CIA (of which I remember this title being coined during our time. How fascinating our group was!haha.). If symptoms persist, go back to that person who invited you and give him a smack on the head if you can. :p

Stage 3: Dizzy from the Ride. After the crazy-madness, you might wanna lie low. Maybe because you had a fight with whomever, you got hurt, you don’t want to see someone else’s post, your internet connection just got disconnected, Istorya.Net is banned from your IT department, you are on suspension, you got busy, you got married, you got a new job, your new boyfriend is jealous with the computer, you got relocated to Mars, you have earth-shattering problems you want to deal for yourself. Whatever your reasons are, you need to take a break from Istorya.Net. It’s human instinct, I guess. It’s just like eating humba too much and having too much will make you throw up and the sight of one would make you sick (though I can say other examples, but hey this is the first one on my mind). However, after trying to login for a time, you seem to not know anyone, you seem not to understand these people and now you are one of those peeps who would say, “Hey, who are these people? Where is this and that? I miss you guys.” And because of reasons like that, you slowly go far away.

Stage 4. Missing the Ride and Trying to Ride Again. And then maybe, you ran into somebody you know or you joined one of the EBs or someone texted you or you just have this innate need to post (the same need why you joined in the first place) and you want to post again. And you try to reach out. You try to understand. But this time, you understand. You clearly see things and you enjoy the ride more. And not just because you want to be understood by other people but you want to be the one to understand. And the forum song will stick to your head and capture your heart once again (and I bow to all the masters behind the song). Will it matter? We might break the rules but still we are, trying to show the world that we care and we feel. We believe we are one.

You may or may not agree with me on this but will it matter? You have your stages. I have mine. But never fail to thank yourself for giving yourselves a chance to login—for friendship, for meaning, for just trying to reach out to your own humanity.

thisbe.ara signing off.

i am learning this in the middle of a nerve-wracking series of things that must be done. between the maddening rush of inner voices shouting you to do this (no this first!) and then the voices from the outer realms, not necessarily any louder, comes these fleeting flashes of walking heavenly beings. perfect ingredients for a brand of craziness that can only be heaven’s welcome gesture to Eris, the goddess of discord’s entry to our realm. imagine Earth’s fertility and the Underworld joining hand in hand to enter the pantheon of planets after their timeless dispute over Persephone, and then there was the Trojan War…

for once i am having doubts on whether the planets really have some kind of hold on human affairs. i feel an unusual affinity with this new one. now with Eris around and the ‘Great Satan’ dubiously handled by Dubya, er, World War 3, anyone?

Once upon a time…no, let us not start with this. it is too classic. why not start with the hard facts. Let us start with…

The only thing permanent in this world is change. The only thing constant in this mundane world is change. Everything changes; people change, places change.Now, back to the fairytale part. How does a fairytale start? when does it actually begin? It all begins with a whisk of a magic wand and all of your troubles will be gone. You do need a fairy godmother to do this. Fairy godmother is just a teardrop away. With a flick of her wrist and you will have your wish. As what they say, A dream is a wish your heart makes. Which brings us back to wishes again. If everything in this crazy world would be like this, it would be like the kingdom of Far, Far Away. A kingdom full of oddballs and eccentricities. We already have an oddball in our lifetime. Not just one but 2, Bush and Erap. Our Country have Erap jokes while the US have Bush jokes. Enough with the politics stuff and back to my fairytale.

My fairytale would start with… a nice deserted beach, lost in a field of wheat, a lazy jungle beat while dancing cheek to cheek. A sailboat out to sea, a small house in Capri. 2 movie tickets free for only you and me. together we will find a hideaway, a place we will cherish from this moment until forever.

This are just vague mumblings and ramblings of someone who has watched too many fairytales in a lifetime.